i love him, don't get me wrong, but everything lately is driving me nuts. im starting to think i don't respect him much or that my hormones are just CRAZY...
just had a baby and im nursing, plus im the breadwinner, my job just pays more, and i don't want to put out. darn it.
he is a dork though.
im not leaving him, but do you ever find yourself feeling like your partner is annoying you?
what do you do?
oh and one more part....our car broke down, so maybe im just stressed.
2007-10-12 10:20:36 · 34 answers · asked by diana g 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
reading this....i sound like the psycho!!
hahaha....but seriously,
everytime i want a hug he says" let's do it."
and he talks like a baby not just to the baby but me too.
2007-10-12 10:22:46 · update #1
You might be a bit post natally depressed. You have had a major life change and this takes alot of getting used to.You will be tired , but you need to cut yourself some slack. If you have family or friends who will baby sit try out a night alone together even if its just for a Pizza or a walk.If you can't find the time together, go out with your girlfriends and off load on them.Your're probably feeling a bit resentful and this is natural given the amount of responsibility you have, but try and list in your mind the good qualities that he has, it doesn't matter what he earns , its what qualities he brings to the relationship.. Does he make you laugh?Do you like his hair?That kind of thing.And one last thing-most men in my experience equate affection with sex and this might be his way of saying he needs your love as much as the baby does.
2007-10-12 10:41:55 · answer #1 · answered by daryl t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although having a baby is extremely stressful on you, it is just as stressful on your husband. He is probably under lots of anxiety right now, and is asking for sex because (1) he is a guy and (2) when guys are stressed out, sex helps. You can say no to him about this, but don't do it too often. I would give everything a while to calm down. Don't get too hostile towards your man, because as you said you love him, even if you are a little (or a lot) fed up at the moment. When it comes to making more money then him, there's not much you can do about that unless he has time for a second job. I wouldn't suggest this though, because it will take time away from the family. It is generally not a good idea to bring up that you are making more money though, as that will make him feel he is not providing for the family. At the moment I think you both are under lots of stress. Assuming you don't have much time, you can try quick stress relievers like deep breathing or tea. Even try out some yoga poses if you find time. Once the baby's old enough you can even go to classes together. Hope this helps.
2007-10-12 10:40:42 · answer #2 · answered by Lucy Loup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, my husband annoys me almost all the time! You know it's funny. When I met him I thought he was a prince. He could do no wrong in my eyes. After I married him tho, I saw a completely different side of him. He is a very heavy drinker and can be a real pr*ck when he does. I still love him tho and would never leave the marriage (unless he did something so bad that I would have no choice). I don't think there's a person out there who hasn't felt some sort of resentment towards their mate at one point or another and judging by what's going on in your life right now, you've got every reason to be annoyed. You are post pregnancy hormonal, working to support a family and trying to keep it together, not to mention your car broke down. Understandably with all that going on, who would want to put out? I wouldn't (altho I've never turned my husband down for sex, even if I was pissed). This too shall pass. Once your hormones settle down, your nursing is more routine and you are more accustom to the new baby, I bet you start feeling more like your old self and hubby won't seem so annoying.
2007-10-12 10:28:24 · answer #3 · answered by kikio 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds just like me and my husband. We just had a baby almost two months ago and like you i have felt very irritated by him, i easily get annoyed with him and lately we have argued quite a bit. Of course i still love him and i would never think of leaving him. Just like your man everytime i hug my hubby all that comes out of his mouth is "lets do it" or "i'm horny". He even sends me gross little text messages when he is at work. I do not hold sex from him, we still do it about 4-5 times a week so he aint being deprived.
I honestly think it's just stress because befor my daughter was born everything was perfect but since she has been here, there has been many nights where we get little to no sleep, we are also suffering from my daughters Acid Reflex which causes her to cry almost non stop which puts everyone on edge. On top of that both my husband and I work full time which is very exhausting. It is very hard and very stressful but if you and your man have a strong relationship then you will get through this. It will get better just give it time.
Hope i helped!
2007-10-12 10:37:22 · answer #4 · answered by Kasja 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you need some time to yourself. If you can afford it, then check into a spa for a weekend, and leave him with the baby. If that's too pricy, then just spend a day doing something you enjoy, and go to a cheap (but nice) hotel, so you can have a bed to yourself for a night.
Also, tell him what bugs you about him. If you share a kid, then (I'm hoping) you're going to be together for a very, very long time. Can you really put up with his quirks for a lifetime? Trust me, the last thing he wants is to lose the woman of his dreams, so of course he'll change a little so you're happy (but dont be upset if he asks you to change a little too!) Just make sure you dont ask for anything unreasonable. ("Your left arm annoys me, the way it always hangs away from your body like that. Would you mind amputating it?")
But seriously, give yourself 24 hours away from the husband and the kid. Meditate. Listen to soothing music. Take a bubble bath, and maybe *ahem* please yourself a little? (Maybe it'll put you more in the mood for him) And remind yourself that it's probably just your hormones, and next week or next month you wont be nearly as stressed out.
Good luck! <3
2007-10-12 10:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by Sarah 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hormones probably play a part in your frustration. But, it seems that you also have a lot of stressors going on. I am also the breadwinner and it's a little odd to deal with since it isn't the social "norm".
Maybe you should try to go out for a girls night . Perhaps go to a relaxing spa or whatever else relaxes you. You probably just need to get away for a little while so you can refocus your energy.
2007-10-12 10:25:17 · answer #6 · answered by JDawg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hormones for sure, and possibly a little resentment on your part that you are carrying most of the weight in your marriage. Main breadwinner, main provider for baby, HECK YEAH, I'd be slapping his hands away too!
It's very common to have all these emotions becuase of hormones and because having a baby just throws everything out of whack. Give yourself some time to adjust, and try to be sweet to your husband and also let him him know what he can do to help out.
2007-10-12 10:25:30 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-09 02:47:50 · answer #8 · answered by trip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, you are hormonal and stressed. Breastfeeding and the lack of sleep is zapping your energy and your sex drive.
here is a link that I think will help, you are not alone in feeling this way:
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/baby/breastfeeding/sexdrive/
He needs to calm down and put his energy into fixing the car and taking care of the baby between nursing sessions, and really put some effort into being a bit romantic.
It doesn't matter who makes the most money, the relationship is the most important thing. He needs to calm down and focus on taking care of you and his baby... when he has that figured out you will see him in a more favorable light and will respect him again. Tell him he is a father now and it is time to be and act like an adult and the only person who wants to hear baby talk is the baby and not you. (Personally, that would get on my nerves as well).
2007-10-12 10:29:21 · answer #9 · answered by dedum 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh yea there are days that I could just shoot my boyfriend for no reason at all he doesnt even have to do anything for me to feel this way I think it is hormones I just look at him and some days he just gets on my last nerve. Tell him to go fix the car. When I feel this way I do tell him and let him know its not his fault it is just me and I need my space and he understands and also he told me he has days like that in which he feels the same about me its part of the relationship.
2007-10-12 10:26:40 · answer #10 · answered by grandmaofthree 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋