what do you say when your teenager knows you're getting high?

Question

I am a teenager of the 80's, child of the 70's, doesn't make it right, but, I grew up with my dad smoking pot and trying to hide if from me, when I got caught at 16, he said, "what can I say? I do it too and just know that everything you do in life, comes back on you" (his version of Karma, I believe).
My 13yr old knows I smoke, he says he can tell when I'm high, we've tried very hard to hide it from him, but, now that's he's found out he's like a little watch dog, so we hide all the evidence.
I know I"m going to get alot of flack for this question, but, I know I'm not the only parent in this situation, and I think pot is a much better way to relax than alcohol.

I'm an addict because I smoke once in awhile, I own my own business, my son is into sports, and gets' good grades, I do it because I chose to, not because I have to, some people have a beer........

Answer 1

I feel you. My husband has MS (Multiple Sclerosis) and he uses MJ to relax and settle down, and get out of pain. Our nephew just found out and we don't know how to not be hypocritical. So we just said, "its illegal, and he uses it for medical reasons, and we're not gonna tell you to not smoke, but we'd like you not to. And if you decide to smoke, talk to us about it, and be safe and smart about it.:" So far its working well, he says he has no desire cus it stinks :)

Answer 2

Ok I know the feeling. I have an eight year old and a 2 year old. When I smoke, I try to do it on the weekend or after they have gone to bed. I also have a stepson that is 11 and he pretty much knows what is going on. His mom was smoking and he walked in on her. He hasn't done that to me, but I know how you feel, when you say how do you talk to your kids about not smoking when I do. My only thing I can come up with is that I didn't smoke until I was 18 so maybe that will fly. I've starred you to see if maybe I can learn something on this question also.

And to the nasty people quick to say how you are ruining you or your kid's life. Pot is not the same as Heroin, Crank, Meth or Alcohol. There are lots of competent responsible smokers. Maybe the best advise is to not smoke when your kids are around. That way they won't know what you are doing.

Wow there really are some stupid people in this world. The only drug I have ever used is Pot. Nothing else, so no it is not always a gateway drug. And pot does not kill you, you cannot even OD on it. There was even a study recently that pot is not tied to cancer like cigarettes are. Learn your facts and don't believe everything you hear people.

Answer 3

EDUCATION!!!!

Explain to your son why you smoke pot. Explain the dangers and the benefits. Im 24 and going through cancer treatment and smoking pot to help with the side effects. Thinking I could have an adult conversation with my mother I tell her this. She went through the rough and it was just the most horrible thing in the world - mind you she has never smoked pot.

She does smoke cigs though, and for some reason has the misconception that cigs don't effect the brain. I used to smoke cigs, and I know better than that.

From experience its not good to hide things from your children. Whenever I knew something was being hidden that made me want to go looking for it and usually became very upset and mad when I found out they were hiding things they were yelling at me for.

Most ppls problem with pot is that it is illegal and they dont know how it really works and what it does. I agree that pot is not only better, but safer than alcohol, and much easier to put down than a cig.

I guess my biggest suggestion is to just be honest. Although because of the current legal status I would keep you stash locked up. You dont want him to take some and then give it to his friends.

Answer 4

My god... do NOT listen to these people that tell you to smoke with him... what the hell good would that do? Sounds to me like you either need to quit or at least chill out on it a little, for your CHILD'S sake, not to mention your own. I'm not against doing it, but you're obviously doing it way too much if your 13 year old knows when you're high. For Christ's sake, be SMART about it. Don't do it when he's around, even if you're in another room because guess what... he's not stupid, he CAN smell it, you know! He is obviously concerned about you because he's smart enough to know you shouldn't be doing it. I suggest to only do it when he's not around and make sure you hide it where he cannot find it and also use air fresheners so he can't smell it when he gets home. If you say you do it to wind down, then limit your smoking time to just before bedtime so that you don't have to face him afterwards. OR, if this doesn't work and your son is still concerned... then QUIT!

Answer 5

Okay, I'm not going to tell you to stop or anything. However, I definitely would not hide it from the kid. Trust him to be able to know you do pot and for him not to start it as well.

Also, pot does not help you relax. All drugs, actually, put strain on your heart and makes it go faster. It makes your pulse go up. When you are calm your heart rate and pulse are supposed to go down. So it doesn't help you relax. You thinking that is just in your mind. Also, alcohol doesn't help you relax either nor does smoking.

Now, to answer more of your question. I am a 13 year old. girl. Most of my friends are a group of 16 or 17 year olds who enjoy drinking, smoking, and getting high. I used to get high and drink. I quit. I saw the effects it had on my friends and myself and didn't like it. I started to worry about my friends also. One of them died from drugs. Not pot, but still it was an illegal drug. I couldn't stand to watch my friends get high and damage their health. After I quit, they tried to hide it from me. These are kids who are like older siblings to me. It really hurt me because I was like their little "watch dog".

To solve this problem of me feeling obsolete and watching my friends slowly work themselves into an early grave, we came up with a pact. They would not get high around me or during the school week. Slowly some of them starting thinking they had no reason to continue with the drugs and just completely quit. So I would make a pact with your teen similar to what my friends did with me. To not get high around your son or during the school/work week.

I hope I helped.

Answer 6

PLEASE stop! my parents do this 2, and its ruining my life :( im now paranoid afraid and sickened and have alot less respect for my parents.

i have my reasons, and i bet if your educated you can guess them by what i've given you. trust me and quit

EDIT: ok maybe i was a little harsh...

if you confront him then it will be entirley awkward so i wouldent. also everyones all hes gonna be a druggie... no there is noo way in HELL i would even want to, im 13 too. But now that he knows i will warn you:
-all those anti drug seminars at school will remind him of you
- if you have finacial problems he will prob turn his head on you (the cost)
- he might even become more anti social

just a few warnings
try to do it when hes away
dont act like a hypocrite

if he comes to you explain to him your reason, but tell him you were just addicted in the 1st place

but please dont rule out quitting :'(

Answer 7

Maybe you need to try yoga, reading or something else to relax. You and your father did not do harder drugs but your son may. I think you need to stop smoking but that is me
Also you know it is illegal you can end up in jail if caught and loose your child. Also if he starts and gets caught he may rat you out by accident then he will go to foster care. You have a family now you need to find a new way to relax

Answer 8

The bottom line is that right or wrong, marijuana is illegal. Very often teenagers have turned parents in to the authorities and that will end with you possibly going to jail for child endangerment and your son going into foster care.

Obviously you have to live your own life, but I strongly urge you to forego the pot smoking until your son is of age and out of the house.

Good luck to you.

Answer 9

well if the fact that your ashamed to tell your son that you smoke pot makes me think you know that your behavior is wrong. but that may just be me
if you think what you are doing is ok although it is illegal. then just be honest with your son. but don't be surprised if he starts smoking pot too. you doing this tells him that it's ok. he may also think other forms of drugs legal or otherwise is ok too since you do it. be prepared to defend your self.

if you think what you are doing is wrong then stop. i don't care how it makes you feel. you are the most important person in your sons life what you do and what you teach him will affect him for the rest of his life. if you stop and explain to him that you have an addiction seek help and recover and are accountable he will respect what you do( even if he denies it) and it will show him that ppl do make mistakes but it is possible to overcome them and our weaknesses.

Answer 10

You are an addict who needs to have your child removed from your custody. Clean up your act. Do you want your child to be getting high? You know he's more likely to go onto heavy duty drugs because you're a druggy?

As far as relaxing...ever heard of a hot bath? some good exercise? Stop making excuses and grow up!

Answer 11

You need to stop smoking right away. I have a friend whose parents are alcoholics and she's always depressed and miserable everytime I see her. Both alcohol and drugs ruin people's lives and can ruin a family for every generation to come. I don't want your son to have to go through what my friend goes through. Sometimes she has to stay at my house just because she can't deal with the problems she has at home. If it's that bad for her with her parents drinking, it must be 10 times worse for your son. For his sake and yours, I hope you quit for good.