So, I was invited to one of those passion parties, called Pure Romance, for women, by women, and my boyfriend is totally against me going? I think it is retarded that he is so against it, and he won't even give me a good reason (says, I dont know, I just dont like it)... Am I totally dumb and don't see the reasoning behind it or..? (we have been together for 2 years, live together, etc.)..I am 19 he is 21.... I even told him, it is to get stuff for both of us (and it is!)
2007-10-12 09:53:57 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
that is him being threatened by your sexuality.
Or maybe he doesn't think toys for your pleasure bode well for him, or maybe he doesn't want to use any of the toys for guys.
2007-10-12 09:58:24 · answer #1 · answered by akristel2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are not always the best in expressing themselves. But that doesn't make their feels any less valid than women's feeling.
For the sake of the relationship you should not think (nor he) this or that as "retarded". That kind of thinking only hurts the relationship. Your current (pre-marital relationship) is just practice runs for your final (marital) relationship. Try to do it "right" so that you can get it right later.
Think of this saying:
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. - The Bible
I'm not trying to push bible on you - just some helpful word.
Now think to yourself that since you love each other
I must be patient,
I must be kind,
I must not envy,
I must not boast,
I must not be proud (to each other),
I must not be rude (to each other),
I must not be self-seeking,
I must not be angered,
I will keep no record of wrong doing,
I must protect (each other),
I must always trust (each other),
I must always hope (for each other),
I must always persevere (for each other).
When you can say these thing then you can really say you love. But it is also true that by doing these things, you will grow closer together.
Good Luck,
P.S. If you did this all by self (and just one sided), you will feel that you gave with receiving. You should sit together and agree to do it together. Normally this is where marriage ceremony comes in but for now just agreement is better than nothing.
P.P.S. I am kind of shocked at how many women poster are just calling the guy "idiot" or "do it my way". Being stubborn may seem like it gets you what you want, but in the end it just makes you a more and more difficult person. Those old cranky grannies and cranky old man around the corner werent born that way. They slowly creeped into becoming that way. You reap what you sow. (sorry the Bible again).
2007-10-12 09:59:41 · answer #2 · answered by Lover not a Fighter 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you tell him before going. Breakups doesn't happen in 1 second and you have to think a lot .. This is just a small issue and there are times when couple has to compromise. Explain him what you will be doing there and explain him the environment.. Discuss and come to a conclusion. Relationship doesn't work this way and plus, you don't get everything in life.
2007-10-12 10:36:26 · answer #3 · answered by GirlYgIRL 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is a jackass. Some guys are intimidated by their girlfriend having things like that and feel that they will be replaced by a toy. That is his issue... which is stupid, because Men are the much more physical/sexually motivated of the two sexes. How many men have replaced their girlfriends with porn? (by choice, I men)
I think you should just go. On the up side, you could break his fears. The worst thing that could possibly happen is you two break up over it (which I find highly unlikely)... but even so... you're only 19, it may even be a blessing if it does happen.
2007-10-12 10:04:52 · answer #4 · answered by Timmy H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a rep for Surprise Parties and often times men are uncomfortable with their SO going because they are insecure with themselves. Have an open discussion with him. You may find out that he has a B.O.B phobia and if thats the case an agreement can be made as far as what is and what is not acceptable in the bedroom. Good conversation to have anyway!
2007-10-12 10:57:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might just not be into that kind of stuff, or he may feel that you do not appreciate what he brings to the table(bed), or that you think that he is inadequate. I don't know how to deal with that though...I mean I think it is okay to go.
Just listen to him, really hear what he has to say, don't interrupt. Try to figure out what is really bothering him about you going.
Be honest and let him know why you want to go ...maybe you are just curious to see what this is all about, maybe because he is fighting you is why you want to go... your new independence appears in jeopardy because he is saying what your parents might tell you, you should be able to communicate, and resolve the issue if you both listen to each other.
2007-10-12 10:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by raycat97 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love those parties!!!
I dont know why he is so against it lol it's really only to benefit you and him!
He does not own you and you are not going to be in a hurtful environment, i say be your own person and just go lol HE really cant stop you and if he gets mad at you for going then hes a retard hah
maybe he doesn't realize that it's just products and that no one has to get naked or try anything lol make sure you explain it to him nd the environment to him
2007-10-12 09:57:14 · answer #7 · answered by AngryFalafel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend is just being an idiot. If he won't give you a reason why he doesn't want you to go, then what is his problem? You have the right to go any place you want, whether your boyfriend likes it or not. I say go! Don't let him keep you from doing something like this. Let him say what he wants to say, but show him that he can't drag you around like puppy on a leash. He isn't be fair!
2007-10-12 09:58:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to go, just go. I'm sure he'll understand it once you come back with a lot of neat stuff for both of you guys. Maybe he feels it's an insinuation that maybe he isn't doing enough for you. Who knows. Sit down and have a talk with him. Tell him 'I don't know, I don't like it.' isn't a good reason for me not to go. There could be something else bothering him that he doesn't want to talk about. Good luck
2007-10-12 10:02:33 · answer #9 · answered by No-Dogg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably has other sexual hangups.
Don't know if you can resolve them in time for the party, but it might be worth exploring what is at the root of his concerns without making the party attendence itself a battle ground.
could be a lot of things, some almost trivial - doesn't want you ina place where you might talk about him sexually - to very serious - he was molested with sex toys as a kid - to anything inbetween, including religious objections.
Good to find this stuff out now while you are still young...
2007-10-12 09:59:58 · answer #10 · answered by Barry C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's up tight and freaked out because he doesn't want you talking about your sex life with other girls. Men sometimes don't realize that girls do that anyway, without passion parties. :) Just tell him that everything is going to be okay and he doesn't have to worry. He's being irrational and when you get home with all those fun things he'll be glad you went.
2007-10-12 09:58:28 · answer #11 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋