I need to know how others would take the following info: My husband's lifelong best friend is a great guy, always giving hugs when you see him, to everyone. However last time I saw him, I caught him looking at me more, and touching my ribs if I was alone in a room. We were all talking and this friend mentioned that he saved a letter my husband wrote him about how my husband thought I was the one when he first met me. This letter is from 20 years ago and my husband's friend never responded to the letter but saved it. He compliments me on things like a ring that I was wearing that he liked. I just get a "feeling" from him. Am I reading to much into this? What do others think? I am afraid to say it outloud to anyone as I don't want any of our great friendships ruined.
2007-10-12 07:30:52 · 52 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is the third time youve asked this question.
What answer do you keep waiting on ?
Do you want to cheat on your husband ?
I think you already have and are looking for reasons to justify your actions...otherwise, why repeat the same question over and over and over ?
Have a nice day !!!
2007-10-12 07:37:46 · answer #1 · answered by ? 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely NOT confront anyone directly about it! Saying something to your husband is going to cause problems between you guys as well. Saying something to the friend is gonna create an awful lot of tension that you don't want to deal with. I would just bide my time and wait for the friend to do something that is over the line. At that point I would say "What the hell was that?" He may spill his guts (and then it's all his problem) or he may get the point that you don't feel that way about him and back off. He may never say anything. Even if he does have feelings for you, as long as he doesn't do anything about it, I wouldn't put any more thought into it. People can't help the way they feel, but he does have to respect you, your husband, and your marraige.
2007-10-12 07:46:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you very well could be right and he could have a thing for you. As long as he doesn't do or say anything to make you feel uncomfortable I just wouldn't say anything, because what if you are wrong?
Now if anything does or has happened that you don't like, you are going to have to mention it to someone. If it's something that you do not think is a huge deal but you would like it to stop, I would ask this friend in private if he could stop because it makes you uncomfortable. If he ends up doing something bigger like outright hitting on you, you will definately need to tell your husband. This guy is suppose to be your husband's friend. Hitting on his wife is not a good friend.
I do have one question. What exactly do you mean by he touches your ribs?
2007-10-12 07:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may rent a movie that has the same situation, not sure what that is because I do not rent movies, and invite him over to watch a movie. While the movie is playing you can make comments in front of hubby and his friend about how much that bothers you and you do not understand why people would do that. Hubby will likely not catch on but the friend will definitely get the point, especially if you cut him a dirty look when you are talking, Then it is brought out in the open with attention being brought to the matter, then if he keeps on, tell him you are telling hubby. Best of luck
2007-10-12 08:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He most likely wants you. He would probably never do anything about it. He is probably single and wanting to settle down and jealous that your husband has you. He prolly wants the same things he has. Don't get yourself stuck alone with him ever, he may confess and then it's all over. I would do one of two things. 1) get him set up on a date with someone that you know and think he would like and double with your husband. 2) stay away and when he comes near you make excuses to walk away or make excuses to get him to walk away. It's a tough predicament. I had a bit of a crush on my buddies wife once, but i realized that it wasn't her I wanted, it was what they had I wanted. She was pretty and a great girl, but the more I looked at it, I realized that we had nothign in common other than her husband as friends and that i wanted in my life what they had.
2007-10-12 08:12:05 · answer #5 · answered by sa_183327 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be safe and not go through a whole lot of embarrassment in your life (which I don't think anybody needs). Stay close to your husband and do not flirt with your husbands friends flirtatious comments. Remember that you and your husband are one, "there is no room for another". If you follow this counsel you will continue to have a wonderful marriage "otherwise" your present marriage could turn into a total disaster. Don't make a tremendous mountain out of a mole hill:)
2007-10-12 07:41:06 · answer #6 · answered by RJ 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, maybe he IS attracted to you. Gut feelings are often right. But don't you think things are best left just as they are - unsaid? There will be people who are attracted to you - and you may even feel attracted to them. But you can't focus on it too much, or it's going to become a problem.
2007-10-12 07:41:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that he's attracted to you i think the best thing is to stay away from him.If you can't then i think it's time you told your husband about this.I think you should gather up evidence first because if you don't it might sound like it's you who's attracted to him.Good luck
2007-10-12 07:44:46 · answer #8 · answered by mchel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are walking a very fine line at the moment. As adults mature they look back upon there wants from their past. You need to speak with this Man and make him aware that you are married and that you do value your friendship with him. His reaction we be one of withdrawl from your Husband which points the finger at you. What exactly did you say to Keith? He has broken all ties with me. He has no reason to be upset with me over any issue. Have you spoken to keith without my knowledge? Do you see where this is leading to. A path of disaster either way that you turn and you are the innocent victim.
2007-10-12 07:43:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
All I can say is it is always nice to have a wing man...poop happens and it is usually an easy transition from one friend to another.
Do nothing to acknowledge this "extra" feeling you think he is giving. You don't mention if he is or is not married or in a committed relationship.
Don't burn any bridges.
2007-10-12 07:53:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋