How do i get my husband to stay home more often rather than hanging out with his friends all the time?

Question

I have been married 6 years now and have been friends with my husband for over 11 years. For the first 4 years all he wanted to do was be with me. Then he started going out with his friend ocassionally, then often, then almost every night and day.I found out he was having an affair for over a year and confronted him. He just ignored me and allowed me to move out not caring what i did. He then went to be with her not wanting me to know. This happened in our house. I finally decide to let him go although wanting to save the marriage as we had a child now 3. He said he wanted to try and i moved back. I don't know if i can forgive him. I think about them all the time. Now he still doesnt want to stay home. Even in a storm. I feel so alone.

Answer 1

Sorry hon, you need to move along and, find a man who is going to love you for you. Your husband wants to be single again and, he really believes he can do what he wants and you will put up with it.
Get some counseling to help you be stronger and be better for you and your child. Yes, I believe a child should have two parents but, I also believe a parent has to teach a child how to be happy and to love. Which you are not happy and your husband is teaching him some bad habits.

Answer 2

You came back to soon and made it to easy for him to do it again. I know hearing this hurts and you don't want to think of your husband that way but it is what it is. I have been in your shoes my heart was ripped out by my husband,he started just like your husband. He wood call and ask if i would mind him going after work and have a couple of beers with some people from work of course not i would say. Then two days then every night he would come home 2:00 am get in bed not say a word and wake up 6:00am and start all over again. Boy did i start hating that man for hurting me and not caring.
You need to leave your husband and not come back until he does everything you want him to do. If you want him to jump then he better say how high. If you want him to respect you then you have to show him you don't need him you can get along without him just fine.

Answer 3

You need to pack up your sh*t and get out. Take a second and re-read what you just wrote. It won't be a very hard decision. He told you he wanted to start trying, but he hasn't started trying yet.

If my husband was out every night doing whatever and especially not inviting me at least every now and then, I would DEFINATELY think he was cheating.

And by the way - don't use your child as an excuse to try and "save" the marriage. That reason is so overrated. How do you think your child is going to feel later on in life when he/she sees daddy never home and out on the town all the time. Is that what you want for child?

Answer 4

If he wants things to work out, you have to tell him, no more affairs. It's ok to spend time with the guys, but not to forget that first and foremost, he's a husband and a father. His time and place needs to spent at home where his wife and child await him. He can't be roaming around everywhere. Have a talk with him on what needs to be changed and listen to him as well because perhaps all of his antics are due maybe because something is bothering him as well.

Good Luck. =)

Answer 5

That jerk is still having an affair. Sorry. You need to get him out of your house. Children are more harmed by their parent staying in an unhealthy relationship than they are by the father being gone. He's not hanging with his friends. He is still hanging out with the other woman. You have to do what is best for your and your child. You can not change him. The only person you can change is yourself.

Answer 6

I am sorry to say this but it sounds like he does not want to work on the relationship and he is going out to avoid it, I don't know if he is having an affair but i know he is not doing what he needs to do and if he is doing this I would start getting myself together to either move out or kick him out. He said he wanted to try, well looks like he is not and i would start making arrangements to get out, Yes it is hard with 3 kids but my mom did it, she raised 3 kids single, yeah sometimes she had 3 jobs but do what is right for you, and stick him in the divorce with alimony and child support, judge is going to take your side since he had the affair and you tried to make it work, Good Luck !

Answer 7

I just got thur talking to one of my friends about this same situation.DON'T KNOW WHY WE AS WOMEN SIT BACK AN ALLOW MEN TO TREAT US WITH SUCH DISRESPECT. THAT BASTARD IS STILL FU**KING WITH THAT OTHER BI**H, AND YOU ARE SITTING BACK AND TAKING THE ABUSE. YOU NEED TO GROW SOME BALL AND THEN KICK HIM IN HIS----- the reason he doesn't come home is because he's d**k deep in some pu**y. PUT HIM OUT OR YOU GET OUT STOP BEING A"DOOR MAT"!!!!!!!! HE GOING TO KEEP DOING THIS TO YOU-- YOU DESERVE BETTER-- I DON'T CARE HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM!!!!!!!! GET RID OF THE LOSER.!!!!!!!! ooooooo I'm so pi**ed off I need a drink.................................

Answer 8

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Good luck. Stop procrastinating & start taking action!

Answer 9

Start hanging out with your friends. Watch the concern.

Answer 10

Leave, get your own friends, your own hobbies, your own life. If he really wants to be in the relationship, he'll make the effort. You're wasting precious years of your life. Is he really worth it? What has he done to enrich your life lately?