I tried a good counselling with him. Did not even nag him. I feel like leaving him because of this, my patience is almost over. He said he will stop but I catch him few times and I don't know what to do now. Pls. help.
2007-10-12 05:22:02 · 24 answers · asked by MJ B 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave him or..............tell him the next time you catch him that you will start asking others (friends and family) for advice on how to handle this. I'm pretty sure the last thing he wants is for everyone to know about his sickness. But hey, your fed up with it and if doesn't take action now to correct then he isn't giving you much choice but to take action on your own. The ball is in his court.
2007-10-12 05:45:27 · answer #1 · answered by Phil 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is something that has the potential of becoming a huge problem if YOU don't fix it. After a while he is going to blame you. He will say it is your fault that he watches porn because he does not get enough love in the bedroom from you. It is natural to watch porn but it can become addictive if it is not handled early.
Think about things you can do for him or with him that will take his mind off of porn. If he spends more time focusing on you, then the very thought of sitting down at that computer will go away. My wife and I have been through all of this before, and sure enough, I blamed her(even thought it was NOT her fault). For God sakes don't leave the man, just bring the attention back to you, and he will forget the porn.
2007-10-12 12:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by rozzell j 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Short answer: you can't stop your husband, only he can stop himself but know that he may truly be trying but stumble a few times before breaking totally free. If he acknowledges that he has a problem, he should seek counselling. You also may need counselling as this affects you too. There is a program called "covenant eyes" that you can put on the computer to be an accountability partner for him and he can't erase where he's been. I truly hope your marriage survives ... it can be done provided he is truly trying :-)
2007-10-12 12:28:09 · answer #3 · answered by me 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
I was with someone for 12 years who was so addicted to porn it started messing with my self-esteem. I would gather all the tapes and DVDs and hide them at a friend's house. A couple of days later, after he promised he wouldn't watch for a week, I'd find that he had more. He had to drive an hour from our town to buy the crap. No matter what I tried or what he promised it only got worse. We couldn't even have sex unless he watched the crap. I finally left him. Tell your husband he's going to lose you if he continues. He is the only one who can change himself. You are not going to be able to change him. Or you can not let it bother you, so it doesn't drive you crazy.
2007-10-12 12:35:56 · answer #4 · answered by shellshell 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hi.
I guess all I can tell you is be more understanding, and try to participate. It sucks, but the fact is, if you get more involved, maybe he will get embarassed, and want to quit. OR he will feel comfortable enough with you to tell you why he needs it. A friend got divorced for the same reason. She didn't like it that he was always looking at it, and she was up tight. It just turned into a bad thing.
His current wife is a little more understanding, and hasn't caved to watching it with him, but their sex life is great, because their communication of what he likes is better, and they share more.
2007-10-12 13:47:27 · answer #5 · answered by john s 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is it really an addiction. I see a lot of women toss that porn addiction term around when the truth is it is normal stuff most guys do.
You can't change him. It was good that you went into counseling. I hope you stick with it since that stuff takes time and effort from you both.
2007-10-12 12:34:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
what's your issue with porn? i hate to say it....but most men aren't addicted to the actual porn itself, but the act of watching it and not getting caught. doing something behind someone else's back.
try some soft porn. without your husband. look for something YOU might like. then work your way up into something a bit more racy. go buy some toys. not for you and your husband..but for yourself. become comfortable with yourself. if he mentions anything...brush it off. pretend you have no idea what he's talking about. you'll drive him crazy!!
then start watching stuff with him. don't let the stuff finish before you jump him. keep it open to watch the porn with him and not by himself.
once you have established you have no problem with the porn, one of two things will have happened. one...his drive to hide it behind you will kill his lust for it....or two....you will have increased your own sex drive.
porn doesn't bother me.....hiding porn and leaving me out of it pisses me off. but i'm the type of person that if i marry you..i marry yo ur sex life and i want to be a part of EVERY aspect of it.
2007-10-12 12:41:26 · answer #7 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
be the freak that he likes to watch in those videos! get the costumes out and do some of the things they do! go all out and see how he reacts. men generally like porn. my boyfriend stopped watching it since we have been together, so i think your husband should stop too..
2007-10-12 14:22:23 · answer #8 · answered by StinkyDec19 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
my husband used to watch pornos all the time and id get upset with him...because well i thought he wasnt attracted to me...it turned out to be just a phase, i actually start watching it with him. I guess its less of a thrill if you dont have any problem with it than if you get upset about it (hes gonna hide it if you dont approve) if its disrupting his normal life then id have to say he needs to get his ducks in order or your gonna leave him because its really not all that interesting SSDD
2007-10-12 12:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
from all the questions posted on here dealing with this subject, evidently you're not alone. I know it bothers you, obviously, but try to be thankful he's at home, and not acting all this out with someone other than you. If you have a high sex drive, enjoy all the benefits from him getting "in the mood".
2007-10-12 12:28:12 · answer #10 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋