I threw a carton away.
2007-10-12 05:18:46 · 69 answers · asked by Preachers Kid 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
no i dont think its fair
2007-10-12 05:21:08 · answer #1 · answered by mfort 1 · 3⤊ 7⤋
Yes, it's fair.
Hell, I'm the only one who doesn't smoke in my family. It's their own choice if they want to. And it's your mother; she was probably smoking way before she knew the problems it could cause. It'd be so hard to break an addiction that'd probably be like 20 years old by now.
If you were a mother who threw her teenager's cigarette's away, go for it, but this is completely different.
And do you know how much cigarettes cost? Throwing away one carton won't do anything but waste your mother's money, and it will do jack all to stop her addiction. You may as well have thrown her wallet away.
Learn a thing or two about addiction before trying to dictate how your mother should take care of herself.
And I'll just add that it's not your place to make her quit. What if she doesn't want to? What if she doesn't care about the risks? She's probably been smoking for far too long by now for quitting to really do much anyway.
If you're worried, just talk to her about it and see how it goes, but smoking is no where near as bad as all the ads (or at least the ads over where I am) paint it to be (seriously, there was an ad saying that like 50% of smokers die from it. Yeah, most of which are like 80 when the croak).
If you try and get her to quit, make sure you actually know what you're on about, or she'll probably just get annoyed.
2007-10-12 05:39:38 · answer #2 · answered by sindajes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's both fair and not fair.
It's fair she grounded you for stealing something that was not yours and wasting it, and it costs money. But I don't think it's fair either because if it was the other way around, no one would punish if it was mom who threw away your carton of cigarettes. The bottom line-cigarettes are just plain bad for you, and the point is you did it with good intention and try to do her good.
What you did was right, just not in the right way(at least not until you tried to reason before dumping it out of frustration to get her to take a hint). What you should've done is to sit down and have a talk with her, tell her you love her very much, how bad smoking is for you, how the cigarettes drains her money and health and offer/plead to her quitting or helping her quit. If she's not willing to change for herself, how about for you? If she doesn't listen and keeps on smoking, then there's really nothing you can do about it (until she's ready or never) but to find ways to distance yourself, if you get secondhand smoke exposure alot.
Hey, I get it. People overreact sometimes.
2007-10-12 07:30:26 · answer #3 · answered by jm7 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it to be very fair, that you're grounded for disposing of her carton of cigarettes that for your information, cost quite alot and were her property and not yours for the taking and disposing. If I were your mother, i'd take the carton money from your allowence (if you get any), have you re-pay it. Remember, you're the child in this equation, and even though you had the best intentions at heart, she is still your mom and the adult and you must respect her and her wishes to continue smoking. Throwing away her cig's will not make her stop. That's a decision she will make on her own and for herself. Next time, you can start by talking to her and telling her how you feel about her habit and express any fears and concerns you have about smoking and her well-being.
2007-10-12 05:39:56 · answer #4 · answered by AlS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, because cigarettes are so expensive, about $30 to $40 a carton, depending on where you get them and the brand.
I know you were doing it for her own good child, but, there is probably not too many other places where Mom can smoke these days besides her own house and it is probably something she enjoys and that soothes her mood.
Again, your intent was noble indeed, but smokers are so demonized these days that I just think that society has gone insanely overboard in making smoking "the great evil" of the 21st century. But give poor old Mom a break, and let her light-up occasionally. If the smoking is bothering your breathing, then maybe set aside a smoking area in or outside of your domain where she can go and enjoy a good puff.
When Mom wants to quit, she'll quit. But be careful what you wish for, cause you might find yourself wishing for the old cigarette Mom back, if and when that day comes.
2007-10-12 05:32:45 · answer #5 · answered by soulguy85 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A CARTON???
Honey, I know that you have your mom's best interest in mind, but she is your mom and you have to respect her and her decisions even if you don't like it. A carton costs a lot of money and that's why she is mad. I'd be mad if someone threw my carton away!!! That's at least $30-40 now-a-days.
The better thing for you to do is to sit down with your mom and have a heart to heart with her. Smoking is VERY addictive and that's why I urge young people not to even start. Your mom is probably really mad because her first instinct wasn't to quit when you threw her carton away, it was to kick your @$$ and go buy another.
Smoking is REALLY REALLY hard to stop and you should find ways to help your mom. Do your research. Throwing her cigs away is just gonna piss her off!
2007-10-12 09:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good intentions, but...
The decision to quit smoking has to come from inside her. Throwing away her carton cost her $20-30 bucks, but didn't stop her from going out to buy another carton.
Parents, too, sometimes have to stand by and watch their kids make bad decisions and live with the consequences, as much as it breaks the parent's heart.
Apologize, then take your punishment as a sign of how much you love your mom and care about her.
2007-10-12 05:42:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand where your coming from by throwing your moms cigarettes away for her own good. I grew up with that. My mom smoked half a pack a day and yet told me to stay away from it. I tried hiding her ciggarettes but then got in trouble and just had to deal with it. I then thought of a different approach.
Have you ever thought of having a discussion with your mom? Letting her know how harming 2nd hand smoke can be? And how harming a cigarette is to her?? Way back when, I sat my mom down and told her " you always told me you wanted me to be healthy, mom, but you know by smoking in the same area as me you're killing me." Expect you're mom to get defensive and make up excuses but just stay calm. The first step to quitting is accepting. If you show your mom how much it hurts you that she smokes, try to make a deal with her (example, everytime she smokes she raises your allowence 1$ or you can take the car etc)
By throwing out her carton, you don't give her the chance to admit she needs to quit, you're just taking her cigarettes away from her.
2007-10-12 06:34:15 · answer #8 · answered by hungry_hipppo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trying to quit smoking is extremely hard. It is a strong addiction as I sure you learned in school. Mom may have to go to the Doctor for something called zyban that aids people who are trying to quit, and the patch also. You can go on to the Internet and see what you can find ,Try typing in "what is in cigarettes" there is a lot of nasty stuff in them. If you find it make a few copy's and leave them around the house. Moms, sadly not going to quit until shes ready. Maybe see if she would be willing to smoke away from you. Sorry your grounded. Good Luck. AND DON'T SMOKE IT IS NOT COOL.
2007-10-12 05:27:45 · answer #9 · answered by Kim S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it isn't helpful. There are always more cigarettes. And you are wasting money. Finally, in a year and half you will be smoking yourself, and you will see how childish and silly you were to be afraid. Unless your mom is already 60, she is going to be around for a long time. If you steal her cigarettes, smoke them. There are millions of children around the world who can't get cigarettes, so it is a sin to waste them.
2016-04-08 05:18:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did you hope to achieve by throwing them away? That she would never smoke again? Or that she would recognize your anger over her smoking? That she would acknowledge your pain?
You got her attention, but you failed to achieve any lasting effects except in getting yourself grounded.
Think about what it was you really wanted, and then think again about how you can realistically work with (not against) your mom together to achieve that goal.
Fair? There's no such thing as "fair." There's truth. Truth is you stole something that didn't belong to you. Truth is your mother loves you and disciplines you to teach you right from wrong. Truth is you love your mom and want her around when you have kids. So work together in that love and find a solution and skip the heroics and hysterics.
2007-10-12 05:28:21 · answer #11 · answered by CHos3n 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋