ladies...how did you feel the first time you were intimate with someone after your divorce or breakup ???
guys.....how is being with someone who has already had kids .( not yours)..you know there body isn't the same anymore...
i'm not sure if i make sense ..but i'm currently going through a divorce and i just feel weird of the thought of someday being with some ...my body is not the same ofcourse as to when i didn't have kids...i mean i'm not fat i'm 114 ,4'11 but i'm so self conscious about my stomach ! pls help???????
2007-10-12 05:16:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
whew... you've really gone deep into your think mode.. Chill out a bit... and breath. Let things happen naturally.
2007-10-12 05:24:06 · answer #1 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow! I was married for 22 years and then he told me he wanted a divorce to marry his pregnant girlfriend. Hurt? Yeah, for a long time. But I got the help I needed and eventually started wondering about how I was going to start dating again.
Nobody was going to come knocking on my door and I was getting awfully damned lonely.
I knew that I wasn't a Christian and did not want a Christian boyfriend. I also quit running the bars when I got married in 1983, so that source was out.
Then I was sitting there looking at the computer monitor and realized that was where my ex met his g/f so why not give it a try?
I started with Senior Friend Finders. Then graduated to Adult Friend Finders as those seniors were just way too tame for me!!! I'm something of a Wild Child. A leftover hippie or flower child, take your pick.
The first time I went to bed with another man I thought my heart would break. All I could think of was "He doesn't feel like my ex." My ex was 5'11" and weighed 300 pounds. This guy was 6'2" and weighed 180. So, no, he didn't feel like the ex. He also didn't act like the ex--a definite improvement!!! We dated for awhile but because it was a long distance relationship it just became too hard to maintain, so I eventually went to other dating websites and found somebody closer to home. He is now my significant other and I love Him with my whole heart and soul.
Don't rush things. Get the help You need to move on. I went through a Divorce Recovery Group, to both a psychiatrist (who prescribed anti-depressants) and a psychologist (who talked and let me talk, very therapeudic) and relied on my many friends in both my club and at work. Talking helps and you need a support group to get through this. Trust me.
A guy who really loves you won't condemn you for having a little tummy! In fact, I like my men big so my significant other is more in porportion to my ex husband than that first guy I dated! I like my men big and not so skinny. You'll find somebody. Just don't rush things and you'll be fine.
But take it easy. Time will help you and you'll know when you're ready to date again (DRG suggests at least one year so you don't get somebody on the rebound and so that you learn how to break getting into the same old habits and picking the same type of guys again and again!
Good luck!
2007-10-12 06:32:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
From a single dad perspective: I'd love to find a woman that has kids or maybe even wants to consider having another. I'm in my 40's and have a 6 year old son (well, 6 next week). As far as looks. This matter has gottten out of control. Men want younger women and women want younger men .... give me a break. I'd love to know what happened to unconditional love ... is it only for preschoolers anymore?
2007-10-12 05:48:00 · answer #3 · answered by Mark W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was you I would worry more about your lack of self esteem than what you look like. No man it will be any good for you is going to care if you have a few stretch marks or love handles( not that you do)You have to feel good about your self before you can ask anyone else too. GOOD LUCK
2007-10-12 05:30:31 · answer #4 · answered by terisa s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Believe me, there are plenty of guys out there who do not care, and after a certain age they expect the women to have children. I am much heavier than you and there are a bunch of guys I could call that would be here if I called and told them I wanted to sleep with them ... lol
Got to mate1.com or match.com or yahoo personals for a yummy list of guys ... then choose your favorites. There are more men than women looking ... go have fun and forget the worrying ...
2007-10-12 05:27:24 · answer #5 · answered by beckymarie2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the body is the same to the guy who is there that all he knows and cares about and as for your stomach its not a big deal to most guys they care for you not your belly they want to be with you the whole package not just the parts of you that you dont like
2007-10-15 05:35:42 · answer #6 · answered by the_orc_1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i felt good i fell in love with my best friend after my divorce and it didn't matter because he knew how my marriage was he wanted to make me feel loved and cared for and he did he still does
2007-10-12 05:25:18 · answer #7 · answered by buzy_bee_21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband has a beard and mustache yet retains it very smartly trimmed. while i think of returned, many of the adult males I even have dated have had beards, etc... I under no circumstances truly theory approximately it previously yet i assume i could like them!!!
2016-10-22 03:49:25 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relax, once it happens it will happen. If there is passion between you and your next partner everything else should just work itself out.
2007-10-12 05:30:53 · answer #9 · answered by Zaferus 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're dwelling on this entirely too much. Can you go shopping or something?
2007-10-12 05:20:55 · answer #10 · answered by Flatpaw 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋