How do I tell a friend I can't loan him any more money until he pays back previous loans?

Question

He already owes me almost $2000 and says they're going to cut off his electricity if he doesn't come up with $200 immediately.

He doesn't work and mooches off the military by taking college classes, which they pay him to go, and gets disability. His wife has never worked, ever, and gets child support.

This guy is 30 (I've know him since we were 13) and has already filed bankruptcy twice, now he's looking for a way to file a thrid time by using a failed business that he dumped all of his inheritance into which lasted about 3 months before losing everything due to poor money management. I gave him business advice and he did the exact opposite, I really tried to help but he actually took offense to my suggestions and cautions.

I feel sorry for him and his family but, all of him money problems are his own doing. This isn't just a slump for him, he is too stubborn to see his faults and definitely hasn't learned anything from them.

More than likely, I won't get any of this money back.

Answer 1

do not give him anymore money and just tell him to pay up and you can start again. he will probally tell you to go to hell!

Answer 2

There's no reason for you to keep enabling his bad habits. You've tried your best to help him and teach him better ways, but you can't change his life if he doesn't want to change.

Tell him you just can't afford to keep giving away money, and you can't affored to loan him any more until he pays back what he already owes you. Offer to let him pay off the debt through work instead of cash - he could mow your lawn, wash your car, etc. Set up a strict schedule and terms for this "repayment", keep track of how much he's worked off, and don't loan him any more money until he's worked off the debt he owes.

Unfortunately, you can't help him or his family - they will never take responsibility for themselves until they have absolutely no other choice. I seriously doubt you'll see any of that money again, so kiss it goodbye and write it off as a life lesson on the boundaries of friendship.

Answer 3

I would be like.. Look you already owe me $2,000.00 I think it's time you pay me that back, then I will consider loaning you some more in the future, but you need to find another way to come up with that $200.00.. Sorry dude.

Answer 4

his problems are not yours... so don't make them ...
he has to own up to his own responsibility, as long as you keep bailing him out, he will continue to come up to you with his hand out.
Say no, it is tough love in a friendship but needs to be done.
Why should your earnings supplement his life style....
hello.. wake up and smell the coffee... you are being used and he is trying to guilt you as much as he can and he is good at it.
turn tail and run in the other direction.
You have your own life to live and no matter what he says to you when you turn him down, don't take it personally, he will just have to go out and find another patsy.....
NO... it stops now....open your eyes and look at his track record and how he and his wife are lazy people, spongers, and I would think by now, you would have a clue... You said it... moochers......

Answer 5

I hate to say it, but what kind of friend is he to do that to you? I could understand a 'hey, I left my wallet at home, do you think you could spot me for dinner'? Or something of that manner. Maybe you should cut of ties, that just doesn't seem right to me. He is taking advantage of you. Try talking to him, as civil as possible, and although I do not know you or your "buddy", I don't think it will do any good and I think that you should cut off ties. That or drop hints, like newspaper with circled ads fro jobs.

Answer 6

Hes working ya. Time to dump him and don't plan on getting your money back . P.S. can I be your friend my kids need new shoes

Answer 7

" I am sorry, but I am not loaning you anymore money, until you pay back what you owe me.."

If you never see him again, it was probably money well spent....