I work offshore for two weeks at a time. I pay my ex wife child support and alimony on the 1st and 15th of each month. I am working now and my ex wants to pick up my check today, forge my name on the back and cash it. I told her no. She is very upset and is making me feel guilty telling me she has no money left, and is getting my 7yr old daughter to call me and make me feel bad. She is only nice when she wants something...Am I wrong here?
2007-10-12 04:51:37 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't let her guilt you into doing something illegal! If her payment is due on the 15th then she has to wait till the 15th. Not many single moms get any support (my hat's off to you!), so she should be grateful and learn how to manage money. Or tell her to get a JOB!
2007-10-12 04:58:22 · answer #1 · answered by Muschi 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you give her permission to forge your check then she will continue to ask you to do that. You need to be strong about this and tell her no.
Setup a system to pay her automatically so that she doesn't have to wait and worry about these obligations being paid. That can be done through a child support office, an attorney general's office, or through a direct payment to her from your bank account.
It is very hard to make ends meet when payments due you come later than they are suppose to but she still needs to keep your daughter out of this problem.
I'm not going to comment on the last sentence as you and only you and her know how things went in your marriage.
For peace of mind, you should come up with a direct payment system and hug your daughter the next time you visit her. Tell her you love her.
2007-10-12 05:31:33 · answer #2 · answered by Twilight 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely you tell her no. She is wanting to commit a crime and she is trying to get your child to help her do it.
She is responsible for managing her own money and that is not your responsibility. Keep making the payments the way you are suppose to. Your 7 year old daughter is old enough to understand some things so if she calls you again you carefully explain that daddy has to pay mommy twice a month and it is not quite time yet. Explain that daddy can't afford to pay mommy til the right time but that as soon as it is time you will send mommy the money.
That is the best you can do unless you get the court involved. We live in Minnesota and my husband did not want to deal with his ex so he has the state take his child support out as payroll deduction and they pay her directly. We never have to see her at all and it does not cost us any extra to do it that way.
Good luck to you
2007-10-12 05:00:42 · answer #3 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs some money management courses. She's using the #1 tool to make you feel like you are feeling - your daughter. SO WRONG. If you pay her on time, and the amount you are supposed to, its HER fault that she can't make ends meet. Shes lucky that she gets paid 2x a month, and on time. So, with that being said, tell her NO to picking up YOUR check and the forgery. Like another person posted, you might want to check into getting this thru the court system and having her paid thru them. That way, there is no questions asked, and you don't have to worry about dealing with her and issues like this. Stay strong, she's just trying to wear you down..
2007-10-12 05:02:14 · answer #4 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No what happended to the money you are giving her on the 15th and the 30th if she keep on harrasing you then get a lawyer tell them that you pay her the 15th and the 30th and that they money is gone have them investigate and find out were the money is going. O and by the way if she forges your signature she can got to jail that is stealing even if she is ur ex wife.
2007-10-12 04:58:57 · answer #5 · answered by Lost 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong and also your wife is wrong for expecting you to do something illegal such as forging your name on a check. She obviously needs to budget herself so that she does not feel the need to have to need extra cash before they are due. You did not mention what the cash was for. If it is for something out of her control, such as a new situation with your child that requires money then she needs to talk to you about this and then see if you both can work out a compromise.
2007-10-12 05:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not wrong let her wait tell you get back and then pay her like you always did plus if she needs money that bad tell her to get a job
2007-10-12 04:58:24 · answer #7 · answered by bob P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't feel guilty. don't let her make you feel guilty. she knew way beforehand that child support doesn't come until the 1st and the 15th. it's not a new set of rules put in yesterday. she'll get it on the 15th. it's only 4 more days. she'll have to wait to buy that new pair of shoes.
2007-10-12 05:03:28 · answer #8 · answered by Isabella S 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Forging a check is illegal. No matter how you put it. I know it happens all the time, I am sure. But she is no longer your wife and needs to wait for the check. DO NOT let her sign that for you, sounds to me she needs to let go. Set your boundry and don't let her cross it
2007-10-12 04:57:46 · answer #9 · answered by fishingal1313 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you get the child support paid through the court then you won't have to bother with her showing up at your job or anyone else she can potentially embarrass you. Ask your lawyer about it. Or a lawyer who does family law.
2007-10-12 04:56:49 · answer #10 · answered by Big Bear 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋