This is an awful question, but I can't get it off my mind. I dated a guy for a couple years and was head over heels in love, I believed with my heart and soul that he was the one. He hurt me really bad by walking out on us when it got tough, it bothered me that he wasn't willing to work on things/fix them with me.... I knew what we were throwing away and he didn't at the time. 10 months later he is writing me emails, telling me he believes we are soulmates and belong together, etc. I feel the same.
Trouble is I am with someone else. I like this person a lot, but I don't know if it's love. He treats me well and has all the qualities to make us last. I'm not nearly as attracted to him (he's on the skinny side) and I don't think I'm quite his type physically either. I am pregnant (unplan) with his child and therefore want to make it work, plus he is a good man and more mature. What's going on with me? I can't even bring myself to be intimate with him anymore. I am so mad at myself.
2007-10-12 04:17:49 · 12 answers · asked by Betty 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Birth control was used, the chances of me becoming were extremely tiny, I am a responsible individual, thanks. And I am looking extremely forward to becoming a mother, although shocking at first, I have adjusted to welcome this child lovingly into my life. I will never leave the father of this child, I am just struggling with emotions...
2007-10-12 04:30:42 · update #1
Congratulations on the pregnancy.
The pregnancy hormaones may be adding to you confusion.
I advise you to CUT OFF ALL CONTACT WITH YOUR EX as there was a reason you broke up, that reason still stands.
Your ex walked out on you before, what makes you think he will provide for you and ANOTHER MANS NEWBORN BABY? HE WONT! HE WOULD WALK OUT ON YOU!
RESPECT the father of your child, you said yourself he is a good man and more mature than your ex, treats u well and has all the qualities to make u last.
Personally i think you really are attracted to your new man and when it all settles down you will be attracted to him again.
so, CUT OFF ALL CONTACT WITH YOUR EX and good luck with the new family, babies are great and you 3 will have a lot of good times ahead together.
2007-10-12 04:26:04 · answer #1 · answered by Siamese Triplets 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is tough because you really wanted that other guy who walked out and your mind never let go of the idea that you 2 were soul-mates. Now you are with someone else and about to give birth to his child that changes things even if you wanted to be with the guy you really love. If you leave the father of your child will this other stand by you this time and raise another mans child? Can you take that gamble and lose both men in your life. IF YOU WANT TO GET OVER THIS, HE HAS TO STOP EMAILING AND WRITING. YOU HAVE TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND AND BE STRONG BECAUSE IT NOT JUST ABOUT YOU ANYMORE.........
2007-10-12 04:31:53 · answer #2 · answered by blackpearl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun, don't be mad at yourself. This isn't your fault. It is very hard to let go of a true love even if the man you are with is a good man. I know you are afraid of going back to this old BF for fear he will leave again and then you would have screwed it up with this good guy. You don't have to be with either of them. I raised 3 boys on my own for 22 years and we were fine. They are wonderful men now with great jobs. Don't feel you have to choose between them. Tell each of them you need some space. Maybe time alone will help you make a decision. You will find yourself thinking of one more than the other. The answer will come to you. If you can, give this guy who is the father of your child a little more consideration. Look at his past, if he is there for you, will he be there for you.....could you love him.......don't live in the past. Time changes people so it may not be even as great as it used to be with the old BF> I hope this made sense. Good luck on being a mommy, it is a wonderful blessing.
2007-10-12 04:27:20 · answer #3 · answered by Paula D 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Somehow you are convinced that you deserve to be treated like crap, which is what you got from your former b/f.
No pregnancy is unplanned, not with today's birth control methods, so don't use that as an excuse. I think you should ask yourself if this other guy who has already proven his immaturity and selfishness hadn't come back into the picture, would you even be asking this question? My guess is no. Stop all contact with this other guy, and get some counseling to help with your lack of self respect and low self esteem. And talk to your gyn about changes in your libido during pregnancy. Some women have an increased desire for sex during pregnancy and others(like myself) can't stand to be touched. Good luck with your new family.
2007-10-12 04:26:17 · answer #4 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
alot of it could do with hormones the baby makes them screwy if you belonged together he wouldn't have left when it was tough that's when they stick around i've been there it took the guy that left alot of work for me to believe he was lost for a while he gave up everything he had to come back to me even when i told him no he came now when we fight or when we finish with a fight he tells me i'm still here he shows me every day this is what he wanted from the start he just didn't know until he was gone and i haunted his life 2 states away he knew what i was doing, what flavor my gum was, morning sickness(i was preg with his baby when he left) i had signs like his fav car a roadster his fav color his intils and birthday on the plate i had vivid dreams of him when he was hurt he thought of me at the same times i had and it took 2 years for us to relize it wven though we where only apart 8 months it took along time for us to even talk about the hurt he caused not only in our lives but the son i had for a month befor he came home things like this depend on the heart and also what life tells you what does he think about the baby
2007-10-12 04:38:28 · answer #5 · answered by buzy_bee_21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to work on your relationship you are in now and stop waisting thoughts towards your ex.It is only making your existing one bad.To tell you the truth your ex is a real bad choise of yours to even consiter again.If you go back with him ,you will alow him with your action to step all over you.It wont happened at first ,but after a while.Youu basicly give your ok to be his fool once again .And he will take it to the point at time to do so.You are better of working on this one you have ,you say you have a good men,so why even consitter the bad one that wont stick with you in hart times? I dont get it ?You wana change the good for the bad .You should have learnt your lesson by now,realy..He had his chance and didnt make it right,so he wont do so now .believe me!!
2007-10-12 04:29:38 · answer #6 · answered by siggi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think if you know you have a good thing, you owe it to yourself to really think this thing through, as now a child is involved in the picture. Sure, you were left with unresolved feelings, so this guy is still "in your heart", but I would not soon forget that he already walked out on me one time. Not to mention, now I have a child that's not his, and he couldn't even stand by me, so how's he going to stand by me and a child that doesn't belong to him? Can you really trust the previous man? Can you trust the man you're with now? I have to say, you really better choose right on this one, because regret is not a good thing to live with.
2007-10-12 04:24:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Ow! Difficult situation. How does your old boyfriend feel about you being pregnant with your new guy's child?
I was in a similar situation once (though not pregnant). Trying to make the decision was consuming, but I followed my heart. I figured it wasn't fair to anyone if I remained in a situation I wasn't feeling, even though I knew that guy was great, secure, etc, etc....
2007-10-12 04:23:00 · answer #8 · answered by IJToomer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"multiple Professors and professionals weren't waiting to respond to my questions" how many did he ask? a million. No 2. the will or theory or determining reason by potential of which issues frequently are believed to come back to be as they're or activities to take place as they do : destiny 3. See #a million
2016-10-22 03:42:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell that one guy to stop emailing you! You have a good life with a new man. I think you are not very smart if you are considering going back to a man who would screw you over again and again. Stay with the guy your with at least for your unborn child.
2007-10-12 04:21:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋