Maybe my partner and I should have talked about his more before we actually got married, maybe not. He knows that I've been cheated on and grew up in a house where my dad cheated on my mom constantly. So he knows I have trust issue. He does to. But lately and maybe its just where I'm pregnant b/c before the pregnancy horomones hit, I never had a problem with him chatting with girls on line (nothing to bad or for to long) hanging out with co-workers. But since I got pregnant I"ve been really jealous and yes he has crossed the line a couple of times (see other question).
I don't want to push him away from me, our children need thier father. We have a nine year old together as well, but have only been married a few months.
Does anyone have any advice about how I can learn to trust more?
2007-10-12 04:03:48 · 19 answers · asked by his wife 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Learn the difference between listening to your instincts and paranoia. Your instincts are almost always right in these matters, paranoia is almost always wrong.
2007-10-12 04:08:06 · answer #1 · answered by 1,1,2,3,3,4, 5,5,6,6,6, 8,8,8,10 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you girl becaus e I am the same way. Before my husband I got cheated on numerous times and my dad cheated on my mom which lead to their divorce. I have trust issue, and I tend to getr jealous, but you know he did marry me I think that when I tend to go overboard!! And your husband married you. Every human being flirts a little, I know I do and I get mad when my husband does. It's just the issue of trust and it has taken me 6 years but I do trust him now, and i takes time!! It is so worth it though. Be careful to not push him away because I almost suceeded in that at one point, and that was when I realised that I needed to find a way to gain trust in him. Good luck!
2007-10-12 04:11:10 · answer #2 · answered by TC 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are feeling insecure especially right now that you are pregnant. You feel as if your not going t be attractive to him and might want to go look else where. Just have a chat with him if you have insecurities let him know. Also he shouldn't have a problem letting you know where he's going or who he's with. He's not single any more so he has to compromise as well. Just try and work out your issues or he might end up cheating... I've seen this in some friends... GOOD LUCK!!! hope you work everything out!!!
2007-10-12 04:08:35 · answer #3 · answered by mommytoabeauty 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The reason you're feeling more jealous now than usual could vary from your hormones being out of wack, or maybe just because you're pregnant, you see it as, hello we have a family, time to settle down and have all your attention on me! Well, my best advice for you is to sit down with him and let him know you're worried, and say it in a nice way. Tell him it's just that you love him and you're afraid to lose him. He'll understand, and back off the ladies and co workers a little bit, hopefully. And as for you, just try to have a little faith. Remind yourself everyday that you are the one he married, not them. And you're the one who's having his children, not them. And realize he needs a life outside of home, too. You'll eventually ease into being comfortable, and he'll eventually be a little more focused on you and your family. Communication is key. =] Good luck.
2007-10-12 04:09:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well trusting is a hard dissicion! You dont know if there gonna forget it or use that secret against you. Your husband may be slightly cheating on you. BUt what you have to do is trust hes not! Talk to him and tell him "I trust you with all my heart" (it usually gives him the guilt factor) and then leave (not the relationship just the room)
So trust is hard but a true person would promiss that they can trust him\her
2007-10-12 04:11:42 · answer #5 · answered by Saruhhhh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are respected then you can trust.
He lacks respect for you and your heart feels it thought he cushions the idea that it is okay for him to talk to woman on line? You down play that he chats with woman on line. What your doing is out of fear of losing him. He wants to be able to come home to a wife and yet still have that freedom of being single and still able to talk to woman on line and to hang out with
co-workers that is out line for any married man or woman. They are not your hormones it is your instinct and knowledge of what is right and wrong.
2007-10-12 04:13:49 · answer #6 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he needs to reassure you that you are the most important person in his life right now. You are feeling a bit insecure because you are pregnant. He should understand this and want to make you feel more loved. Just talk to him and see where it goes from there.
2007-10-12 04:09:36 · answer #7 · answered by ranger33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it sounds like you were doing fine before you got pregnant, maybe it is just your hormones and he should understand that...and honestly I think it is kinda a paranoia that all women have because when I think about it I don't have one friend that isn't afraid of that including myself....hope this helps...Good Luck!!
2007-10-12 04:14:11 · answer #8 · answered by skittles_n_more 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Thats a toughy. I am not married as I am still quite young.
But I suggest talking to him about this. You are married so you should be able to trust each other.
Good Luck =)
P.S Maybe see a counselor
2007-10-12 04:06:54 · answer #9 · answered by Leahhh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not YOU who needs to do something. Trust will come when he behaves in a trustworthy manner. The hard part is that you have to just sit and wait for it to happen. Does he know what you expect?
2007-10-12 04:10:33 · answer #10 · answered by Twiggy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋