how do i get my 14 year old daughter to talk to me again?she as not spoke to me in over a week.i think its something my soon to be ex -wife as said.please help its killing me.
2007-10-12 03:45:55 · 25 answers · asked by i love anne 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no she lives with her mother shortstuff.
2007-10-12 07:07:19 · update #1
give her some space but let her know that the space you are giveing her is not becasue you are abandoing her... but becasue you love her and that you can see that she is angry with you atm. ask her if she would let you kno what the problem is so that you can have a chance to fix it
2007-10-12 03:49:03 · answer #1 · answered by LBB 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Well shes 14 so u know how stubborn they can be... Ur gonna have to get her alone like take her for lunch or something and ask her...Let her know that her not talking to u is really bothering u and if its something u did u want her to tell u...If u can't get thru to ur daughter to talk w/ her, ask ur ex what the heck she said to her more then likely she'll say nothing but its worth a shot... U can always send ur daughter an email or a text if she has a phone and let her know ur really torn up inside and how she is ur life and u hate the fact that shes not talking to u... Make it known that u love her and don't keep any of ur feelings left out!!
Good luck I hope she comes around cuz there are dads out there that can care less about their children and she should feel honored to have a dad that wants to be in her life!
2007-10-12 10:55:18 · answer #2 · answered by NONAME 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hope it isn't something your wife said. My ex-husband was awful, but I never said anything negative to the kids and I always built him up to be good. He said some horrible things about me to them, but I just ignored it. After all the only person who gets hurt if you criticise a parent is the child.
Firstly - don't, whatever you do, say anything against your wife to your daughter, no matter what is said about you.
Secondly - keep trying. Show you daughter that you love her despite what is happening. She may think it's her you're leaving. Make it clear that it isn't and the way you feel about her will never change.
Thirdly - Don't give up. Keep trying and trying as long as it takes. This will prove to her that you still love her and she should realise what you're really like despite what she's been told.
Lastly -If she still won't talk to you try writing a letter or e-mail to her telling her that you'll alwys be there for her.
Try to think that a week isn't very long. Her feelings will still be raw. It shouldn't take long for her to realise she needs her dad
Good luck and best wishes
2007-10-12 10:59:40 · answer #3 · answered by Cat2007 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be patient and dont push. Instead try taking her places or doing things that will eventually bring her to talk again. Go to an amusement park or better yet, take her to the mall to go shopping. Teenage girls are way more emotional than a grown woman, and much more able to do the silent treatment for a long length of time. If all else fails, buy her something she has wanted but your ex wont allow. bonus points for you with your daughter and you get to piss off the ex!
2007-10-12 10:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by Doh Doh 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Does your daughter live with you or her mom? If she's with you, just ask her what you did to her that was so horrible, that she has stopped talking to you. That's a good way of getting the ball rolling & get her to thinking of how you may be thinking. Children often get stuck in the middle during divorces & maybe your daughter is angry & confused right now. Too bad you think your soon to be ex may be spoon feeding her poison. When your daughter is much older, she'll look back & realize what her mom did, & that will be a real eye opener. Good luck, I hope your daughter & you get to talk real soon.
2007-10-12 10:53:24 · answer #5 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We had that situation with my step-daughter and she didn't come near us for months. It was heartbreaking but her father decided to let her get on with it. She arrived at the door a couple of weekends ago and I just spent a lovely afternoon with her today! Sometimes you need to let them have a think about things for themselves - she knows you and so whatever is said about you, she will still wonder if its true or not. Evenutally she will come to the obvious conclusion - she has to come and ask you directly. If you feel that things are very bad, send her a note or text her and say that you love her and that you hope she will come and talk over whatever is bugging her. And then let it lie. Its a very confusing time for our kids at this age and their heads spin with all the half-truths they hear from separated parents! I hope it works out for you. Good luck.
2007-10-12 16:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's a shame.
Besides, as a teenager and a girl for that matter, she probably felt it was fair to stick with her mum.
All you can do is to keep trying, and NEVER give up.
I know it's easy to say, but, you have to show her that you love her and it's not like she is a girlfriend, or an ex-wife you can walk away from. She's your flesh and blood, and that's for life.
Just keep trying. She'll be happy to know, after her moment of rage, sorrow or pain.
Good luck.
I feel for you.xxx
2007-10-12 16:10:59 · answer #7 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you love her unconditionally no matter what and that you will always be there for her and then give her space and back off. You might have to send the note with flowers if she won't talk to you in person or on the phone though. But be the parent who takes the high road no matter what you find out.
2007-10-12 10:55:35 · answer #8 · answered by phovisi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just write her a short note.....tell her you love her and how much it hurts to not hear from her. 14 is a very hard age for a girl. She is probably dealing with problems of her own. Let her know you are always there for her and that you understand being a teenager is tough.......I have a 13 year old son lives with his father......I have the same problems with him.....he knows I love him thats all that matters.............Just Love them!
2007-10-12 10:52:22 · answer #9 · answered by kris12865 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Teen girls are weird creatures. Give her some room but let her know you are there for her. Tell her, when she is ready, you are willing to talk about anything she wants. Your ex didn't necessarily say anything but if she did don't say anything to your daughter. Never ever say anything derogatory about her mother no matter how tempting... Just have patience's.
2007-10-12 10:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to be patient. Ask her if she is upset at you for something she may have heard. Let her know that you love her and will understand whatever she may have to say. Teenage girls are pretty emotional for the most part so just let her know that when she is ready to talk - you are always ready to listen.
2007-10-12 10:49:49 · answer #11 · answered by willowbee3 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋