I've been with my B/F for 3 years. I just don't see it going anywhere.. he doesn't want to work or he just doesn't know how to hold a job down. He keeps promising me the world and never delievering. I've been telling him I don't want to be with him anymore and he needs to find a new place to live, he thinks I'm kidding. I don't know any other ways to say it, I've been trying to be so nice about it. I don't want to get the law involved and he just not getting it. I need some advise.. how can you still be nice and break up with someone. I don't want to walk away knowing or thinking someone will hate me. What should I do?? Help please.
2007-10-12 03:44:40 · 19 answers · asked by Kat 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you may have to be a bit nasty in order to get him to leave because as long as you aren't, he can push the issue. Try changing the locks on the door and putting his things in the porch, start eating a bit more in restaurants and keep no food in the house, if you have cable tv get them to turn that off until you are rid of him, get a lock for your bedroom door and make him sleep on the couch, and so on. He may hate you when he leaves simply because he will not be able to live off you any longer but that is his problem and not yours.
Once he leaves, if he continues to come around or bother you, you may have to get a restraining order to keep him away. you sound like too good a person to let him run your lif like this so the sooner you are rid of him, the sooner you will find someone who will appreciate that fact and be a partner and not your child that you have to baby.
2007-10-12 03:59:05 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he cant keep a job now he never will. And you arent his mother to be supporting him. Tell him that he has a week to either move in with a friend or get his own apartment, then make sure your landlord knows that he is not be near the house. Tell him that he is worthless and is never going to become anything and that is just taking you down- and you dont need that. THEN if that doesnt work, tell him that you are going to have your mother come and personally throw his things out the door, and then everything will be resolved!!! (or your sister can call the cops on him and he'll get charged for being too stupid.) I hope it all works out for you, its time to make a change and be happy!
2007-10-12 14:31:26 · answer #2 · answered by nycprincess 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but this is what happens when two people move in together indefinitely without at least being engaged or planning on marriage at some point. Somebody ALWAYS ends up wanting out. If you had your own place or had a couple of female roommates, none of this would even be an issue! Anyway.........
I would talk to his best friend if he has one. Explain the situation to him, so that maybe that friend can pull him asside and say "Dude, she seriously wants you out." Maybe then he'll get it. My guess is that he'll try to talk you into letting him stay under the promise that he'll actually go out and get a job and start being more responsible. Will you buy into it? Or are you seriously at the end of your rope? If so, be prepared to call the cops. Unless of course his name is on the lease too! In which case the situation just got a WHOLE lot more complicated!
2007-10-12 03:51:35 · answer #3 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well who name is on the lease? If just yours pack his thinking's in boxes and put them out the door Have the locks changed. Why sould you be nice. Look were it has gotten you so far. With a dead beat. You deserve it. You should have dumbed his butt when he was out of work and did not get a job the first week he was off.
2007-10-12 04:01:59 · answer #4 · answered by tadm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pack all his things and place them on the porch, change the locks, and go out with your girlfriends for the night. Leave him a note telling him you are finished and he needs to be gone by the time you get home, when you go home make sure a male friend he doesnt know escorts you home. this way if he is still there when you arrive, your "friend" can make sure he leaves.
2007-10-12 03:54:18 · answer #5 · answered by Doh Doh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if being nice is not working, then you need to get tuff. Tell him like it is. Tell him he has 2 weeks to get out and find someplace to live or you will get the law involved.
2007-10-12 03:52:18 · answer #6 · answered by baylees 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he doesnt 'get it' I would wait until he goes out with his friends one day or something, get your locks changed, and put his clothes in bags outside the place.... that seems the only way. Since he isnt leaving and takes it for a joke, otherwise you will have to call the cops to make him leave.
2007-10-12 04:03:40 · answer #7 · answered by Lale 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can't be nice.You will have to get the police involved.If you live in an apartment you might get the manager to remove him if he isn't on your lease.He understands what you are saying he just has a free ride and doesn't want to work so he is using you.Good luck.
2007-10-12 04:00:45 · answer #8 · answered by notagain49 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is living in your place then pack his stuff and put it out on the porch and change the locks. Other wise I'd just move and leave him there by himself. Some people are just so thick!
2007-10-12 03:52:56 · answer #9 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I packed my ex boyfriends sh!t and had it by the door. I put anything he would try to fight over in his boxes. I had his dad there to be sure it did not get violent. He may have moved there (even though he was over 30). All he said was "So, this is it?" I said "yep". Done.
So what if he hates you. Would you rather hate yourself for putting up with him any longer?
2007-10-12 03:53:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋