We have been married 6 years and he is still really jealous. It doesn't matter where I work at he getrs upset about the other men that work their, he always asks me about my exes and so on. He' driving me crazy. I love him so much and I know 90% of men are jealous but I just want him to lay off! My ex that I dated before him is a big factor. He brings him up all the time, and if someone brings him up in our presence he gets mad at me. Any suggestions?
2007-10-12 03:37:20 · 22 answers · asked by TC 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell your friends to stop bringing your ex up.#
2007-10-12 03:43:41 · answer #1 · answered by nhuvi j 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I will tell you a bit of my experience, and it does not say a lot for me. I married my husband after being divorced and single but dating off and on for more than 5 years. I did not know him well at all and that went for him knowing me also. After we got married, he showed a jealous side that freaked me out.
He would say that he did not mind if I was on the computer but he would freak when I was. Come to find out he met one of his exes on the computer while he was with someone else. As for the one he met on the computer, they cheated on each other. He was freaky jealous, I kid you not.
I on the other hand have never experienced very much jealousy and when I have in the past, I tried to figure out what I was doing to cause these feelings and I fixed it. I had been single for years as I said, I am pretty independent, and I am very opinionated so when he started all of this I did not let him get away with it. I explained to him that not only had I not been a cheater in my past but that no man or woman for that matter could bring me to cheat and he proved to himself that he no longer has the need to be jealous. He cheated once, I was pregnant at the time or he would have been kicked to the curb right then, but I was not emotionally capable of kicking right then, lucky him (I guess); I did not cheat back.
It was hard core and there has been a lot of pain because of it. I am practicing trusting him and he learned that testing me is just mean. He has stopped being jealous though and for good reason, neither of us cheat now; he has learned it is not necessarily a part of a relationship and I don’t want to change that. I have to say that the only time someone has accused me of or been suspicious of my cheating, he was the cheater in his past relationships and he cheated on me.
I know, I got into this relationship without knowing him and that is not real sane but I was drunk in Reno and he was super fine, could not be helped (14 hours after we met). It has been a wild ride so far, don’t know if it will smooth out, end, or stay the same mostly. Jaegermeister is truly at fault. That and it was something to do. Nuts, I told you.
2007-10-12 11:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by scsspace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a stressful way to be happy in a marriage like this...You need to let him know that the past is just that.....You married him obviously because you love him and want to share your life with him....If you didn't you would be with your "ex" or someone else....I'm sure he has a past as well and I know he wouldn't like the fact if you were getting upset over it or taking your anger out at him....He needs to grow up and leave the little things like this ALONE.....
2007-10-12 11:18:53 · answer #3 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was very jealous with my ex wife, after ending the relationship I realized most of the jealousy was caused by myself. There were little things she did that made it easy to be jealous but after some counseling I realized that I was a little obsessed with her and insecure because we got married due to a pregnancy. We actually married and divorced twice, after our second divorce I realized I had to work on me. I am now dating a wonderful woman who actually works with a man she used to date, whom I have met and I have no problem with trust and she lives about 35 miles away from me. Always be yourself, if you are a flirty type try to ease up to help him but if not this is his problem not yours.
2007-10-12 11:20:08 · answer #4 · answered by mikeehr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
And why does my girlfriend keeps giving me a hard time because I don't get jealous? I think what U sshould do is just compromise and talk with ur husband. Assure him that U love him more than Uve ever loved anyone and thats why U married him. Remember, assure him everyday. He's insecure so tell him that he's the best for U. Or give him a taste of his own medicine, bring up his past, although I dont recommend it.
2007-10-12 10:42:55 · answer #5 · answered by Hafizan M 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A little bit of jealousy now and then can make a person feel loved, but when its ridiculous and recurring, that person has a mental problem. I would say, if you don't stop mentioning my ex's, I'm gonna take off. Get a life and GROW UP.
2007-10-12 10:47:42 · answer #6 · answered by Brittney 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Usually men that are jealous are that way for 1 of 2 reasons: 1) They are just that way. Sometimes because they've had trouble in the past or because they are cheating and project it onto their spouse. OR 2) Their spouse does a terrible job of making them feel secure. I was never ever the jealous type in the past until my current girlfriend because she does a bad job of making me feel secure.
2007-10-12 10:43:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Tell him I married you. I love you but, this has to stop. I have given you no reason to distrust me or make you jealous. Hopefully he will get the hint and if that doesn't work then you might need to get some marriage counseling. 6 years is a little long to be worried about an x......good luck
2007-10-12 10:41:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
ok I'm sorry but your use of the word "still" here really says to me that you're one of those people that thought that marriage was going to fix your problems. Marriage intensifies them. where do you get that 90% of men are jealous?
Insecure men (and women) are jealous. People who don't trust each other are jealous. He is not going to "get over" his jealousy without digging deep and finding out why he is so insecure.
2007-10-12 10:43:58 · answer #9 · answered by LB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah tell him hes an ex for a reason and it was the fact that he was too jealous and also tell him that you love only him and arent the least bit jealous of him around other girls so why is it that he is this way
2007-10-12 10:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by the_orc_1 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he sounds like he has some past issues he needs to address. Have him go to individual counseling and then join him after he has had a few sessions so you can understand why he acts all crazy and maybe he can learn why he is jealous too and understand himself better.
2007-10-12 11:08:34 · answer #11 · answered by lahockeyg 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋