I would like to go on a short holdiay with my husband and not to let anyone know about it. He was previously married and has done alot of travelling and has told me about it.
I just want the two of us to get away and leave family matters at home,leave the mobile phones at home and enjoy ourselves.
We have been to many places since we were first married only a year and half now,most of them he had already been with his ex-wife as well.
What I want to know is it selfish of me not to want to go to the same places he went with his ex-wife,as I am his new wife and and want to see something different that didn't include her as well?
2007-10-12 03:13:44 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Thats a very good question.
When I was married I travelled quite a lot all over the world but in particular to South East Asia and the USA. Sometimes I went with my wife but more often I went on my own (hence the divorce).
I am now in love with a wonderful person who has never been abroad let alone been on a plane, I would love to be able to show her some of the marvels of the world that I have seen-but I am also keen to explore new places with her so that I have memories that are unique to us. I also would never want her to feel as if she is living in my ex wifes shadow all the time.
You are not selfish at all, it is a good idea to mix the best of the past with your own new experiences as a couple.
2007-10-12 07:09:21 · answer #1 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree absolutely. I went on holiday with my husband this year for our first family holiday and it was very near where he had been with the ex wife! He spent rather too much time telling me about when he was there before. I did get a bit annoyed about it. I think it would be lovely to go somewhere different and see it together for the first time! Not selfish, perfectly natural. This is not a re-run or carbon copy of his first marriage. This is new and different!
2007-10-12 17:11:25 · answer #2 · answered by AUNTY EM 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not selfish of you it is totally understandable. I am also a second wife and would hate to hear my husband say Oh, this is where I came with my first wife.
Sometimes it is hard to be the second wife especially if you have not been married before yourself (like me).
I think your idea of going somewhere different is a great one.
Go there together, have fun and make it your special place.
Good luck!
2007-10-13 02:41:41 · answer #3 · answered by ChocLover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing wrong with that there is nothing worse than being told how wonderful the place was last time he visited I should think. Good luck in finding somewhere - there are some lovely villages in the Yorkshire dales.
2007-10-12 10:21:36 · answer #4 · answered by ann b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him, new places , none of ur old places, take ur phones and just switch them off cos when u need them u can call.
u r not selfish u got all the right to get him anywhere anytime, all for urself and not any other.
take him any dont tell any, DO HIM GOOD lol
he is urs , he is ur husband and u r his wife, ENJOY URSELVES AND UR LIVES COME ONNNNNNNNN r u still here, pack
good luck. ( GOD willing ill do that with my baby girl in future lol )
2007-10-12 10:54:07 · answer #5 · answered by michael 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its not selfish i used to do the same, my partner took me to all places visited by ex it felt uncomfortable and always felt the ex was there too. yours is a different marriage and maybe you dont want to walk in her footsteps, you quite rightly want new adventures experiences that are just the two of you enjoy
2007-10-12 10:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by mo w 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems sensible to visit new places together and create new memories for you both. Visiting places he's already been is bound to trigger of memories for him only and possible an argument or two?
2007-10-12 10:20:46 · answer #7 · answered by Dee Cee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not selfish at all --there are plenty of places to see...
Plus he probably would like to see someplace new as well....
2007-10-12 10:21:01 · answer #8 · answered by Sophie B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a plan
2007-10-12 10:20:40 · answer #9 · answered by Different 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
tell him u'd like to go on a safari in africa, i can see why u'd like to go someplace different, i would think he could understand that too. just tell him. good luck to u on ur safari and i'll keep u in my prayers
2007-10-12 10:26:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋