I've been in a relationship for a little over 2 years and I have a 10 month old son. Every so often, the topic of marriage is brought up. His parents push the subject alot and I just don't feel the need to get married right now. I'm happy in the relationship, although there are some things that need to be worked on. I don't think it matters if we are married or not, my son is being raised in a stable environment. I just wanted to see what everyone else thought...
2007-10-12 02:37:22 · 24 answers · asked by Kelly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should get married out of love, not out of need.
As long as a child has it's mother and father and a loving environment, it doesn't matter if they're married or not.
Times have changed about how to have and raise a family, they are just old fashioned.
2007-10-12 02:45:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kaja 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, you do not have to get married just becuase a child is involved. If you are happy with your man thats all that matters,as you said there are some things that need to be worked on first and marriage should not enter the picture at all until those things are resolved. Never let anyone pressure you into marriage, even if it is family thats doing the pressuring. You determine your own happiness.
2007-10-12 09:48:33 · answer #2 · answered by The Queen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If it ain't' broke ,don't fix it ! Marriage has a way of changing the dynamic of a relationship and not always for the best.
If you are happy with the way things are ,why tempt fate?
I view it this way, a couple that is unmarried is together by choice ,a couple that is married may remain together when they otherwise would not due to the legal and financial problems related to ending a marriage.
The thinking that a couple has to be married is very "Old Fashion" it is the 21st century.
2007-10-12 09:47:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I feel very strongly about this. I am pretty liberal in most of my thinking, however not here. I think it is selfish to bring a child into this world and not be married to the other parent. Life is hard enough....why give the child a knock against them and label them a bastard from the word go. There are other psychological implications to this as well. Most of their friends parents will still be together and married when that child is in school....some will be divorced, however yours will probably be the only one whose parents never married and when the other kids find out...kids are mean. I could go on to say that if your child grows up to fall in love with a person of society.....he/she will be an outcast here and in other situations because of this. Of course you don't have to get married, but why would you want your child to go through life thinking about this.
2007-10-12 09:47:43 · answer #4 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Do not marry someone just for kids. The fact that you are not married has little to do with your relationship.
Work on providing a good stable environment for your kids. And if you are not sure you want to marry the baby daddy then DON'T .
2007-10-12 09:55:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
me and my husband just got married 2 months ago. our son just turned two in september. i never felt that we needed to get married for him. although we did have alot of pressure from his family and mine. they thought we should be married. my husband is not the type to do things because he was told to do them. i'm not either. we got married because we knew we were ready. we didn't want to rush into anything. we waited until we knew in our hearts we were who we each wanted to be with for the rest of our lives. if you can make a stable home and support the child there is really no problem with not being married. anyways, what's the difference, it's only a piece of paper.
2007-10-12 10:19:41 · answer #6 · answered by Amy l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PLEASE DO NOT allow a child to push you to marriage. Would it be better for the child? Yes, but only if the two of you stayed together. But nothing would be worse for your child than for the two of you to get married, something goes wrong and later see the two of separated and possibly hating each other. You can walk away from a relationship if the other chooses not to comply to certain relational rules, but you can walk away from a marriage than easy. Your child should see that the two of you love him/her. But only get married if you really want to. Never let a parent not an in-law make that decision for you.
2007-10-12 09:43:35 · answer #7 · answered by notablewoman 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think if you both are happy in the situation your in and your child is being loved and taken care of by you both ..a piece of paper ( marriage license) isnt going to change anything for the good or bad. Nothing wrong with waiting until your 100% sure.
2007-10-12 09:42:01 · answer #8 · answered by hlboin_2005 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
having a baby doesn't make the marriage better and having a marriage isn't gonna make the baby any better (that's MY opinion) but you know us parents, we want our children to do "what's right"
whatever you feel in your heart is the right thing to do... no one should pressure you into getting married.... then you could wind up being not only a mother .. but a divorced mother... good luck! and just ONE more thing.. the BEST thing you can give your child is the comfort of knowing that his/her mommy and daddy love one another!
2007-10-12 09:48:57 · answer #9 · answered by Joannie W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO u don't have to marry just because u have a child, BUT if u love your partner and you feel ur child should see him only as his Dad then yes securing your relation with marriage is of MOST IMPORTANCE but if u r not sure about ur relation with ur partner and u r financially and mentally strong enough to b single parent then go ahead and just enjoy ur days.
2007-10-12 09:48:55 · answer #10 · answered by Rita 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋