Would you agree the root cause of most human unhappiness stems from the difference of how we would like?

Question

life to be and then how it really is. In effect do we all just expect too much

Answer 1

I believe that the root of all GENERAL human unhappiness is our neglect of our baser nature, and the root of all PERSONAL human unhappiness is subconscious jealousy.

NOTE: I AM NOT TALKING ABOUT FEELINGS OF JEALOUSY - THIS ISN"T FOR PEOPLE TO DISUPTE BECAUSE THEY LOOK AT THIS ANSWER AND SAY "WELL, I DON"T FEEL JEALOUS ABOUT THAT - YOU'RE WRONG!!!" THIS IS ABOUT THE JEALOUSY THAT GOVERNS OUR BEHAVIOUR SUBCONSCIOUSLY, NOT THE JEALOUSY YOU CAN FEEL CHEMICALLY GOVERNING YOUR EMOTIONS.

That said, humanity as a whole is neglecting their animal urges. These urges are mainly governed by the three axioms all living things are INHERENTLY governed by (these things are not conscious decisions for most any living organism - they're hardwired into our DNA):

1) Self-survival
2) Procreation
3) Nurturing of the young until the young can fulfill axiom #1

Nothing else REALLY matters on this Earth, from a purely ecological point of view. Failure to do ANY of the three will ultimately result in an extinction of the species.

Very recently (the last 3,000 years or so) humanity has given these three axioms a lower priority on their list of governing behaviours. Things like art, convenience, philosophy, language, invention, architecture, mathematics, the sciences, etc... have become more important to humanity. Eventually, this has lead to a complacency with humanity's place in the ecosystem.

Concurrently, humanity's desire for things unrelated to those three axioms increased with the development of a formidable NON-ANIMAL intellect. Now here, I am not saying that humans aren't animals, I'm saying that we posess BOTH an animal intellect AND a non-animal intellect. The problem is that the animal intellect has, for the most part, been relegated to the subconscious in favor of our (relatively) new non-animal intellect. As a result, these two parts of every human's psyche are at odds.

So,

Regarding GENERAL human unhappiness - people who are unhappy with the world in general usually have a feeling that it should be easier to 'get by' and live their lives. This is DIRECTLY CONTRADICTORY to the rules of natural selection within any ecosystem (of which all of humanity is a part). The ecosystem (from a natural selection point of view) will try as hard as it can to destroy every living thing in favor of some other living thing which is better suited to perpetuating the ecosystem as a whole.

NOTE WITH REGARDS TO GLOBAL WARMING: IT IS NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO DESTROY ALL ECOSYSTEMS ON EARTH. TWO SEPARATE TIMES IN OUR GEOLOGICAL HISTORY, 2/3 OF ALL SPECIES IN THE OCEANS HAVE BEEN WIPED OUT, AND THE OCEANS ARE STILL THE MOST DIVERSE AND ABUNDANT ECOSYSTEM ON THE PLANET. ALL THAT WILL HAPPEN IS THAT THE EARTH WILL BECOME INHOSPITABLE FOR HUMANITY, AT WHICH POINT THE ECOSYSTEM WILL CHANGE, FOSTERING NEW LIFEFORMS THAT WILL LIVE IN WHATEVER NEW BALANCE PERPETUATES THE NEW ECOSYSTEM.

Therefore, regardless of any burdens humanity has put on any given individual (bills, family obligations, home repairs, etc...) they will still have to deal with the fact that they need (and sometimes can't afford, whether it be a cost of money, resources, mental capability, time, etc...) the basic tools of survival (untainted food, viable clothing and shelter, clean air, clean water, etc...).

This general malaise with their position in a global society which is trying to tell them (through media and personal interaction with peers) that after you take care of all of your obligations you can relax is driven by a denial of the fact that dealing with the three axioms of perpetuation of any species (in this case, humanity) should be more time consuming than two full time jobs.

Through the modern miracle of devices of convenience, humanity has given itself a way to make these three axioms take up less time than they need to, which has given almost all of humanity an entitlement complex, believing that they should be allowed more time away from self-survival and caring for their young (and subsequently, have turned axiom #2 - procreation into a recreational activity).

What any given human chooses to fill their time with leads to the second part of my answer.

Regarding PERSONAL human unhappiness - its root lies in subconscious jealousy.

This concept is easily confused with emotional jealousy, which IS NOT THE SAME THING, though the two are very closely related. Subconscious jealousy is able to motivate a driving desire by appealing to your own desire of that which you know you could have, but don't for some reason.

The difference is that subconscious jealousy is almost always relative (as you had posited in your question) to a person's own IMAGINED life, without whatever restriction is being imposed upon them at the time. It is a jealousy of a life a person could have led if things beyond their control had let them live the life they had imagined. The problem comes when you introduce the consequences of the first part of the answer.

When you look at the first and second parts of my answer together, it is possible to strip away most of the "beyond their control" rationales and realize that much of what drives us to our jealousy is the denial of our personal responsibility for our own survival.

Most of humanity is in direct control of every choice they make, but with the invention of modern conveniences (tools, automobiles, processed food, electricity and running water in our homes, etc...) people have removed blame from themselves when they cannot cope if these things are restricted or removed from their resources for self-survival. They have the aforementioned entitlement complex, which is in direct opposition to their need (and desire) to fend for themselves in their new ecosystem (which, in this case, is civilized, industrialized human society, but could just as easily be a society in a third world country. The restrictions imposed on people in third world countries most times, however, is political in nature, which is very unfortunate).

So, YES, people's unhappiness is directly related to the difference between how a person would like life to be and how their life really is. The part about us all expecting too much is definitely true, but difficult to overcome because our desire for that which we don't have. Humanity should look at what it is that they NEED (and I am referring to such bare minimums that you might feel as if you're living in a third world country), and then realize that they actually DO have more free time than they probably should (and realize how much of that time is wasted on nonessentials).

For example: A person is upset by their weight and lack of money, yet instead of taking the time and energy it would lake to cook a healthy meal at a relatively low cost, they might go out to eat (or order food in) that costs more and is far less nutritious than the meal they would cook, but the less nutritious meal they overpay for leaves them extra time to sit and not exercise while they watch their favorite mindless TV shows on cable, which they also overpay for.

They are in direct control of their choices, and could choose NOT to pay extra for unhealthy food (which is contributing to their unhappiness with their weight) that they could cook themselves (and which would hopefully be healthier, depending on THAT choice) with a little extra effort (the entitlement complex tells them they shouldn't have to put forth that effort) and they could also choose to exercise (which will also help them with their unhappiness about their weight) instead of paying money for cable so they could watch TV instead of exercising.

This is a very basic example, but almost every human encounters situations like this 50 times per day in the course of their normal life. That is almost 200,000 times in the course of ten years. If you could lose ONE GRAM of weight or save 10 cents each time, after the course of ten years, you could buy a $20,000 car or have lost almost 450 lbs. these are exaggerations, of course, but the point is clear.

Humanity is unhappy because their entitlement complex which tells them they are entitled to things they shouldn't be is making people want a life they can't have without sacrificing some of the things they feel they are entitled to.

In short, humanity is most times UNABLE TO COMPROMISE, which leaves us unhappy that we cannot have that which we don't actually need.

Answer 2

I do think of we are set up with unreasonable expectancies, and then, whilst those expectancies are actually not met, we've a reason to be unhappy. I even have faith that too few individuals are given sturdy examples throughout their upbringing of a thank you to be happy with what they have. Happiness comes from interior, not from any exterior source. yet our on the spot-gratification, take-a-pill-to-experience-extra useful society might have us belive that there is a "magic pill" someplace, if we would in common terms open our eyes to it and plunk down $40 9.ninety 9 for "the therapy." according to hazard we could all watch the tip scene from the Wizard of ozjust one extra time.

Answer 3

In a very simplistic sense I think we all want something more/different.

I just think some people go out and get it, and some people moan about how their mother made them too weak to do it.

In a similar way that people in bad situations can sometimes be happier and more positive than people in good situations.

I have mental health issues so I am not suggesting that it's actually my/your/their own fault, just that certain people are capable of being happy or finding the happiness no matter how bad things get.

Answer 4

Yes I think life ends up for some people misseralbe.
They have high expectations. Watching tv and thinking thats what life is like.
Working all the hours that God sends to make a nice home but never have the time to spend in it because they are at work!
Trying to keep up with next doors standards to the point that they don't even know or have time to spend getting to know them.
Less is More.
Be happy :)

Answer 5

The main cause for unhappiness in to days generation is avariciousness. Sky is the limit for man's expectations. Today over night he wants to become a multimillionaire without even working towards it. something in thousands is not his cup of tea. Hence his greed, desires are making him to get involved in any kind of crime. loose his self esteem etc. Eventually failes and acquires lots of troubles, and spreads unhappiness in his life and also to others.

Why our ancestors were happy. They too had aims, objectives. Today we talk about hi-fi management words to say this which were not there earlier. They were happy because they were hard working , sincere and expecting the fruits of their hardwork whereas today 90% is other way round. This is purely my perception.

Answer 6

The problem for a lot of people is that they don't actually know what it is they want and just have this vague feeling that they are missing something. When people really find what it is they want the transformation is breathtaking and they become energised and alive. Whether they have it or not, the fact that they can move towards it is enough to make their mood lift. Strewth! I sound like an advert for a self help book! LOL!

Answer 7

It would contribute to being unhappy if you spend the whole time expecting/wishing your life was different from how it actually is. But other things play a part too.

Answer 8

Some do, that's why they're unhappy, but then is expecting to be able to eat and drink regularly expecting too much?

Answer 9

One should be nimble; fluid; able to bend with the breeze. Instead of crying about what we haven't got, one should learn to work with what they have. Makes life a lot easier.

Answer 10

I fully agree that it is the gap between expectations and results.

Answer 11

all our unhappiness derives from ego and self-delusion
greed and attachment
anger and hatred