reasons why?
I catch it worse whenever I say that one of my reasons for not wanting children is that I don't have patience with them. I KNOW I'D BE A HORRIBLE MOTHER. TRUST! I KNOW THIS!
People launch into the whole "what kind of person can't tolerate children" routine and tell me that I could find the patience if I really wanted to. They continue by saying that people like me are the types who abuse and kill innocent children. Blah, blah, blah.
I don't understand. I've always felt that I'm doing the right thing by not subjecting children to my impatience. I don't want to mistreat children. Why would people accuse me of this when it's one of the very reasons why I don't want any? I accept that, for whatever reasons, I can't tolerate children. Don't you think that's exercising good judgment on my part?
2007-10-12 01:32:01 · 11 answers · asked by SINDY 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I also don't want children. I simply am not interested in it. I generally have no problems with people when it gets mentioned. Many are also choosing not to as well. Everyone has to make their own individual decision for this. It's a lifestyle choice. In a modern world, where (in many countries) birth control is widely available, people can have more control over reproduction.
Many times people have children without thinking about it. That's what leads to abuse. I know that it's a huge responsibility, expense (etc....) so I have choosen not to. I don't hate children. Yes, my tolerance isn't as high as most. But I rather enjoy being an aunt. But their Mother is the one they go back to. I enjoy a few hours, and then I can live my life free to do what I want. I get the good parts. I don't have to change diapers, get up for late-night feedings, deal with tantrums, or put them through college (eventually). The best of both worlds I'd say.
Do what your heart tells you to do. Anyone who tells you that your wrong is an idiot (to put it plainly). They have no respect for individual rights or choice.
Always be yourself. Avoid people who don't accept you or feel they have to change you.
Take care :)
2007-10-12 02:17:20 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you and have made the same choice, and one of my reasons is impatience as well.
I don't get that reaction, though. All of the people that I have actually told that I don't want kids understood and some even agreed that if that was my disposition then I probably shouldn't. Perhaps it depends who you make the statement to and how we present it?
My sister should have made the same decision we have, but she didn't. She has even less patience than I have, and even admitted after her son was born that she was afraid to be left in the room with him alone because he tried her patience too much. He has grown up largely neglected by a mother who acts as if he's nothing but a burden. I was treated the same way growing up, and I NEVER want to subject a child to that... so if there's even a small chance that I would be that kind of mother, then there's no way I want kids.
Yes... we are both doing the right thing, because if, knowing how we are, we went right ahead and had them anyway would be an absolute abomination.
2007-10-12 08:49:49 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think you're exercising good judgment. If you don't have the patience for children, then don't have them. You know yourself better than anybody else. Ignore what people say. You know what's best for you.
Remind these people that many people make the decision not to have kids for a variety of reasons and that it's not really that unusual.
2007-10-12 16:46:55 · answer #3 · answered by Bookworm 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you're exercising good judgment, and I could've probably written what you just did. Why bring a kid into the world when you have no interest in being a parent? That's downrignt ignorant, to me.
I think a lot of the reason people push those of us who don't want kids ("welll juuuust haaaave ooooooooone, you can't nooooooot haaaaaave chiiiiiiiiiildreen") is the plain and simple fact of misery loving company. Think about it. How many "parents" do you see out and about that look ten years older than their true age, shlepping around their spoiled prince/princess in a tot-yacht with food spills and crayon marks all over the inside, while those of us who don't have/want kids look younger than we are most of the time, drive nicer cars, and have time to do stuff WE want to do?
Oh yeah, this is coming from someone who said, if she did go insane and have a kid, its name would be "Dammitahdonetoldyou" because that is what it would think its name was anyway.
2007-10-12 11:10:20 · answer #4 · answered by Tennessee_whiskey6969 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Yes.. While I agree with you and I'm on your side with this arguement... I didnt want children either.. well.. I'm the father of a beautiful 3 year old little girl.
I thought the same things you did. No Patience, and abuse and all that.. Well. it turns out that im a great father. Its all in how you teach and raise that child. You have to teach them to listen and when they dont there will be punishment. Not spanking, but not letting them do things that they normally would do. You have to show them who's boss when its time to be serious, and then develop a relationship during play times and night times. Over time children will learn the routine.
I fully understand your position, but you dont know how you will really be untill you have one yourself. If you dont want one.. you are the ONLY one that can control that. Theres abortion, adoption or birth control.
2007-10-12 08:44:13 · answer #5 · answered by just a guy 2 · 2⤊ 3⤋
You don't owe anyone an explanation. Some people should not have children. I have 1 son and many people have asked me why I didn't have more. Because I only wanted 1.
2007-10-12 14:48:25 · answer #6 · answered by Beth T 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is your body and your right to make decisions about bringing kids into the world. I wish other people has this much respect and responsibility.
2007-10-12 09:53:42 · answer #7 · answered by reverendrichie 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you sound very wise. Knowing yourself and your limitations is important.
I wouldn't even bother explaining next time. It's nobody's decision but yours. They don't have a right to know or judge, even family.
2007-10-12 08:36:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 6⤊ 0⤋
if you dont want kids fine. Good for you.
if you change your mind in the future... Good for you.
2007-10-12 08:35:47 · answer #9 · answered by USMCstingray 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I know, You just want to go through the motions without the result!
2007-10-12 08:39:51 · answer #10 · answered by Premaholic 7 · 2⤊ 5⤋