ive got a lil baby who is 8 months old and ive found out im pregnant again. however, im worried, im in a difficult situation and i dont know what to do. i have a very close relative who has been trying for a baby for years, however they have been unfortunate not to conceive yet. then the other week i found out that they had been for IVF and this hadnt worked either. i know they are going to try again, but obv IVF isnt cheap. they are both very upset and i dont want to add to the pain of saying...'guess what im having a baby'. it was hard when i found out last time i was pregnant witn telling eveyone, i dont want people to think im unconsiderate. what shall i do?????
2007-10-09 23:53:17 · 22 answers · asked by boo4bam 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you want to have your baby then you should have it. If you don't and it's not right for you then don't. Unfortunately there are people out there who can't have there own children, but that doesn't mean that those of us who can should feel guilty about it. Tell everybody when you've decided for definate what you're going to do, and if you decide not to have the baby then it'd probably be best not to tell people unless you have to. Good luck, I'm sure you'll do the right thing for you. x
2007-10-09 23:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by Sarah 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not inconsiderate and I think that anyone who thinks this is wrong to do so. It is not your fault that theya re having problems conceiving and you shouldnt feel guilty for being able to do so. Every baby is a blessing in some shape or form, no matter what the circumstances of conception are. Just think of how hard things are for them at the moment and then think how lucky YOU are for being able to have a second baby. I am sure they will be happy for you as they will probably appreciate how precious the gift of a new baby is. If they arent happy for you then Im afraid that is their problem, its isnt your fault that they have problems!
Good luck and congratulations!
2007-10-10 00:01:14 · answer #2 · answered by angelcakes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with them! Sometimes it hurts more when people hide things from us rather than them just being up front about it. So your pregnant and they haven't had any luck but....why should you feel the need to hide your pregnancy. Maybe you could offer to be a surrogate for them after you have this baby, you obliviously have no issues carrying a baby. I've offered to do the same for my best friend who has so many issues getting pregnant she has one child and has been trying to concieve another baby for years now without going to the doctor. Anyways just be honest people appreciate honesty well ate least I do.
2007-10-10 00:37:27 · answer #3 · answered by Lori M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell the people you want to know quietly and let the people you tell know you are not making a huge announcement as you don't want to upset your relatives.
I'd also tell your relatives who are TTC first of all so they don't find out by accident and get upset. I'm sure they will be very happy for you though. Maybe you shouldn't tell anyone until you are 12 weeks or so in any case.......
2007-10-10 00:00:08 · answer #4 · answered by Storm Rider 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them as soon as possible as the news will spread quickly and it is best coming from you. Yes they will be hurt because its not happening to them but they will understand. I was a simular situation where a work friend had been trying for at least 1 year before we started trying ourselves so when i fell pregnant it was a blow to her as its all she has wanted for the last 3 years. I told her personally and i could tell she was hurt by the news but took it in her stride and tried to hide it as best she could. Another colleague found out she was pregnant 2 weeks after i had told people, this news hurt her more as she found out via the grapevine and not directly.
So from personal experience although it will be hard tell them as soon as possible before they find out through someone else.
2007-10-10 06:19:03 · answer #5 · answered by sonic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well there is NOTHING you can do about it now. I would never advise an abortion, EVER. Plus you didn't say you DIDN'T want the baby. Babies are a part of life and your family can't tell you when you can and can not have babies. Unless you are 15 or something. Then you should just not have sex. Who am I to say? I was 16 when I had my first, but have been with the same guy now for 10 years and we went on to get married and have more children. It may be painful for your relative, but that is NOT your fault.
2007-10-09 23:58:59 · answer #6 · answered by Laura S 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
tell them before you start showing if they're a proper close relative they'll understand , just pick your moment obviously not when they've started talking about the latest IVF attempt because then that would seem like you're rubbing their nose in it. Don't let it spoil your happy time though good luck with everything
2007-10-12 11:15:26 · answer #7 · answered by rubyroo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in this situation 30 yrs ago, my sister could conceive and carry babies whilst i couldn't, i was lucky to give birth to 1 child, then fostered the rest of 'my children' my advice would be to tell them.and suggest adoption or fostering, although they are not biological offspring, the love you can give and receive outweighs this. As I've been in the same position albeit from the other end (I miscarried 6 babies, 1 stillborn) My 'children' have given me so much love and happiness over the years they can still have the child they want so much. hope this helps
2007-10-10 00:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by JENNI D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way that you are being inconsiderate by telling people that you are pregnant. If your friends are having problems that is not your fault. You should consider it more respectful to let then know than trying to hide it from them. They might feel as if you think that they are not smart enough to separate your being pregnant with their ordeal. You seem like you will do fine by them. You seem like a sweet person. So do not try to feel guilty because are going to have another child. It is a beautiful thing. They might get lucky too.
2007-10-10 00:03:57 · answer #9 · answered by orcarius 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie you cant help being pregnant--you are very kind to feel so hurt about them not concieving but you cant let that worry you when it comes to being happy and making your announcement-it's gonna come up sometime and they probably wont be pregnant then either so dont sweat it.maybe they should look into adopting-there are soooo many babies without a family out here-i bet that would make them happy-even happier still would be the lil kid who gets to finally go "home.".
2007-10-10 00:10:33 · answer #10 · answered by berlytea 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋