She is a friendly and nice girl. However, she is constantly borrowing my things, asking for lifts everywhere and generally making demands above and beyond the realm of a neighbour/friend! To add insult to injury I've been signed off work with stress and depression and I just want her to leave me alone! But because I've let it go on and on, how do I tackle this before I totally lose my temper and snap! Help!!!
2007-10-09 22:33:23 · 23 answers · asked by dollydagger 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
talk to her nicely and say "please ... stop disturbing me for a while ... i need to rest. " .. that's all.
2007-10-09 22:45:08 · answer #1 · answered by shanie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just sit down with her and explain, kindly but firmly, that you are suffering from stress and depression, and you feel she is a little too demanding for a neighbour. Tell her you like her, but you feel she is taking advantage of your generosity, which makes you uncomfortable.
Also, learn to say no...if you don't want to give her a lift, or loan her your stuff, say so. I know it's hard, but better to let her down gently than lose your temper and say things you may regret.
She may not realise she is being demanding, and could very well be upset that she's upset you, but until you tell her where she stands, this will go on.
Also, you need to receive treatment for your depression, if you haven't already done so.
Good luck, hun, and I hope you get better soon!
2007-10-09 22:42:59 · answer #2 · answered by angela_6uk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have the bite the bullet and tell her. You can be nice about it but you also need to be firm. Just tell her she has to find some one else to give her a lift or borrow things from. Tell her you have enough stress in your on life right now and that you need to focus on you at this time.
2007-10-09 22:37:38 · answer #3 · answered by debcat76135 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would tell her gently that I don't mind helping you out but you need to think of other ways to get around. Tell her the truth. I would just not answer your door. If you don't feel comfortable on doing things for her or lending things to her, it's ok to say no.
I know your already caught up in the mix, but you need to have a conversation with her and tell her that it's not ok. I would ask her or help her to find other alternatives if she needs a ride.
It just depends on the level of your friendship and if you want her as friend.
Good Luck
2007-10-09 22:41:10 · answer #4 · answered by orangie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that she is taking advantage of you! She will likely continue until you put a stop to it.
You could start by telling her you are under the care of a doctor, tell her you have been stressed out and your doctor recommended plenty of rest and few interruptions. Maybe after the break, she will back off. If not, this would be the time to set some ground rules, and hold her to them!
2007-10-09 22:37:18 · answer #5 · answered by trooper3316 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well If She is So Friendly and Nice.. You Should Talk To Her About The Stree and Depression ur in.. and also Make sure u Dont Hurt her!
2007-10-09 22:41:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to that. I made the mistake of being polite to the neighbour and she was here every few minutes plaguing me. Just shut them out of your life. Dont answer their calls. Dont talk to them, dont smile at them. dont open your doors to them.If she dont get the hint, just tell her you have no time for her company any more. Be direct be blunt, dont be shy to tell them off directly. Some are thick skinned and dont get hints. Be abrupt if you have to.Polite dont work any more. Especially neighbours they can be parasites.Dont ever smile at them.Beware .If you are sweet and kind and helpful, they will take you for a ride. Be bad.
2007-10-09 22:40:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
explain that since the price of gas is so much, and you are on a leave of absence from work, you will have to charge her the same as a taxi would for any rides. also you just would prefer to be left alone, you are not up to entertaining anyone and need peace and quiet
2007-10-09 22:38:04 · answer #8 · answered by cheri h 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
do not snap at her that would not be the right thing to do, just invite her over for tea or you go yourself and talk to her openly explaining your problem to her, you never know she might just reciprocate and you will find a new friend and always remember a good neighbour will make your life heavenly bliss...best of luck
2007-10-09 22:39:32 · answer #9 · answered by charlie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that right now you need a break from everyone and it has nothing to do with her personally but that you will not be able to take her places for awhile.
2007-10-09 22:38:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
um...you should just tell her that she's annoying you and you're very busy and can't help her all the time, and if you've tried that then, just say you're busy when she asks for a lift and say you have to use that thing she wants to borrow.
2007-10-09 22:38:20 · answer #11 · answered by random12345 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋