If you felt your marriage was coming to an end would you try to save it?

Question

If you felt your marriage was coming to an end would you try to save it somehow? By counseling or trying to work things out? My ex wife cheated on me. And I was more then willing to forgive her. But she decided the marriage was over. Without trying to even work our problems out. If anything I was trying to keep it together for her 2 kids that been through 2 divorces before me.

I really don't hold how many times someone has been divorced against them. And I beleive now that most of what she has told me were lies. About her past husbands. I feel in the end I came out of that as a better person then she will ever be. I feel real bad for her kids. Which were from her first marriage. And yes she is now living with the man she was cheating on me with.

I beleive she was using me to support her and her kids in the end. When I came to her she told me the sob story they were eating hotdogs and tuna fish alot. But I fell for it. And lesson learned.

Her kids were not mine. But since I was their step dad for 3 years I still like to be part of their lives. But since our seperation and divorced neither one has answered my e-mails. So god knows what she may be telling them. Their 13 and 16 now. So it's looking less and less that they or her wants them part of my life.

Thank you all for the comments and support! :)

Answer 1

the kids are alway's the ones to suffer the most! I most definatly would have trie to save it, just as you did. seems to me her mind was made up before you even found out, this was her excuse to do what she was already doing,
and already living with him? wow. she knew what she was doing all along. the other 2 marrages are sure a ? now, arn't they! you sure seem like a good man, and i'm sorry for what she has done to you. I hope you will TRULY find the right one! she was not that person. still be there for the kid's. they need you. good luck.

Answer 2

Once a cheater, always a cheater! Sounds like this woman is using marriage as a stepping stone. She's never going to satisfy with what she have. No matter how hard you try to save this marriage for the sake of the 2 kids, she will only be there temporary. It just like us women who go to shopping. We buy something home, but still not satisfy and wish we could have bought the other thing instead. That's how your wife feel.

Let her stray, she doesn't deserve your wait or love. This woman will never be happy with what she have. Trust me, she will continue to cheat till her dead bed!

Answer 3

Try for custody of the two kids and kick her to the curb. She's not worth hanging on to. You're not going to be able to help her out of her pit, only get stuck in it yourself. For some reason she has chosen this way of life. Do your best to not be taken by her in the end. If you have custody; you'll be less likely to have to pay her. I hope this is not why she operates like she does, but some people do. Get counseling for yourself and the kids when she's gone. Do your best to make a clean break. She's not a good influence.

Answer 4

i believe that once another person is in the marriage that it is useless to try to save it at the expense of only being let down and rejected anyway. once they cheat on u it ruins any future that could have been. i wouldn't try to save it because this is not about u, and u did not cause it. this is whats inside of her. if she wanted to work it out i would try but your wife has already decided the future here and your beating yourself up over something u didn't cause. if this was about u or anything u did, she would jump at the chance to improve the marriage.

Answer 5

Wow, already had 2 divorces and cheated on you? Not to sound cruel, but sounds like she did you a favor. It certainly is a bad situation for the children, and great you wanted to think of the children.

But sounds like she just isn't able to make a marriage work, for whatever reason. Some people will try to make them work, her, obviously not.

Answer 6

2 kids through 2 previous divorces and you are the 3rd?
Doesn't sound like you stood a chance. The lady cannot maintain a relationship. Don't blame yourself. It was a mistake regardless of what you felt for her. Learn from it and move on.

Answer 7

Sounds like mine.. and since Im in a similar situation I can only tell you that are fighting a loosing battle like me. Mine doesnt leave me for any length of time but he wont answer my calls and talks down to me when hes at home but after awhile we are ok until the next arguement. We love to no end and our men know that so they use it to their advantage they know our weak spots and can cut us open with on word.. Have you told him how you feel? Try this the next time you have a arguement let him have it tell him how you really feel I did and he flipped his script and was then kissin my you know what..and bought me flowers see until you put their behaviour in their face they dont see it but the problem is he may not change so you have decision can you live the way you are know for the rest of your life? I cant answer that yet either but its worth thinking about.. good luck

Answer 8

you know your such a nice guy,you were cheated and willing to forgive, and she refused. well i guess you don't deserve someone like her,you don't have to feel sorry for ending up with her coz shes not a kind of person that seriously in love with you.and to think of it that she had 2 kids through her previous divorces, let her go and try to find someone else that will love you truly, good luck and may god bless you!

Answer 9

you dont owe her anything,shes obviously a serial adultress,she will never stop cheating,i feel sorry for her kids but she is the one dragging them through this you sound like a nice guy move on and find someone who deserves you,remember some marriages are just not worth saving

Answer 10

Well i would save my marriage and i am at this very moment as my hubby cheated on me. But it sounds like she not interested in saving hers so i would get rid of her. If she has decided its over then it is shes not willing to try. Sorry.