My hubby has been very inconsiderate and mean. sometimes I think he is just plain immature. He wants me to ask my dying father to repay a loan and I refuse to ask. I thinkits a horrible way to treat my father on his deathbed. I baby my hubby and do everything for him except wipe his butt and I feel disrespected by his selfish behavior, we dont need the money. I dont want my last memories of my dad to be about greedily asking for money, that I never really expected to get back. Im soo mad, but I dont want to fight with him..but I want him to know im serious about this. what do I do? Should I sleep onthe couch til he says sorry or should I move to the camper for awhile...or stay with a cousin til he comes to his sences?
2007-10-09 18:15:10 · 22 answers · asked by kissy_karissa 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should stay with a cousin until he agrees to counseling and ground rules are set as to what you are going to do for him - far less than you do now. I suspect that he has always been inconsiderate and mean but he pushed you a little too far this time in asking about the money from your father. You have to consider if he won't go to counseling with you, whether you want to stay with him at all because if you have children in the future I am sure that you would not want them to be like him, inconsiderate and mean and there are many others who would love to have a wife like you who are not inconsiderate and mean but instead king and caring. Good luck to you!!
2007-10-09 18:34:51 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No! Don't sleep on the couch! You need to sleep in your bed and not give his behavior any attention. You know he is being selfish and you know he is wrong so why prolong the conversation? If he wants to ask let him ask but don't let him make you responsible I would say just that the next time the subject comes up. It is both selfish and immature to expect debt to be paid by anyone. You both had a choice to loan him that money and when you made the decision to give it to him you had to be prepared for him not to pay it back. RIGHT?
You could have told him no about the money but you didn't now he is dying, debt paid move on.
Don't you let him move you out of your house. If you don't like how he talks leave the room, go fold the laundry, call a friend and talk about the weather, but show him you are done with the subject.
Be strong and do this for your family the minute you leave its like saying hes right and you validate everything he says.
He doesn't have to apologize to you its a true feeling he's having let him deal with it. You have a choice so next time it comes up leave.
2007-10-10 01:24:33 · answer #2 · answered by kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the whole....sleeping on the couch is childish and doesn't do anything but make things worse. The details of this are just that....details. It is a disagreement...an argument, and they usually end with each disagreeing. You can try to talk it out, but sometimes that just leads to an outburst of some kind.
The idea of sleeping on the couch until he sees it your way is not going to solve the problem. In most arguments, either one or both involved are being childish. Based on your issue...without hearing his side, it does sound like he is being unreasonable about something that isn't worth bringing up. The best you can do is tell him how you feel and how you think his way of thinking in this particular matter is immature and inappropriate. He will either see it your way or he won't. A bogus apology that means nothing is not going to make things better.
2007-10-10 01:28:53 · answer #3 · answered by Jay E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the issue at hand is a serious warning of the WAY BIGGER issue.
If your husband has such little respect and love for you that he would expect you, during this hard time of loss and grief, to ask your dying father for money...something is REALLY wrong with your relationship.
If he is that selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful you should let him know that he needs to reconsider you and your marriage. Give him a fair chance to change. But if you know he will not change and continues to blatantly ignore your feelings then you need to see a marriage counselor and maybe start considering divorce.
STOP babying your husband. You are not his mommy...you are his WIFE. You are supposed to be his equal, his companion and his lover. You are not supposed to be treated like your thoughts, feelings and opinions are so inferior that they don't not take weight in his expectations.
You may have even created this monster.
Have a serious talk with him and let him know how you feel about the whole matter. Telll him he should be supportive of you and loving and caring towards the situation with your dad.
If he won't do it then he is not worthy of even ONE MORE SECOND of your time.
Some times you invest, invest, invest and just like a stuck or bond that went bad...sometimes you have to pull out and count your losses.
Be it the camper or the couch, do not give in to him AT ALL unless he is read to begin showing you love and support.
2007-10-10 01:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by Your Best Friend 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should treat your father as your father Your husbands request is unreasonable You should not be on the couch he should You should not be in the camper he should be If he gets unreasonable have him take a break at his mothers Meanwhile start treating him like a man and he will stop acting like a child and a spoiled brat He needs to grow up
2007-10-10 01:32:02 · answer #5 · answered by chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For gods sake! Why would you sleep at the couch?! He should be the one to keep distance with you because if i was you i'll kick his balls for that. Just sleep at your bedroom and dont talk to him and do anything for him until he ask why you are acting weird and you can tell him. If he doesnt feel sorry, then you can leave him and stay with your father to take care of your father. For sure he would miss you and go down on his knees.
2007-10-10 01:28:21 · answer #6 · answered by chill25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of the above. I don't blame you for refusing to ask your father for the money under the circumstances you describe and especially if you don't need it. However, your husband may feel differently toward money than you do and he may have good reason for feeling that this is important. Just because he feels different doesn't mean that he's wrong.
2007-10-10 01:40:39 · answer #7 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You think he is a parasite , then again you baby him all the way, thus , he had an upperhand of the domination cycle.
Think of the options if you move out temprorily ( childrens ? ),
what will be the worst scenario - Can you walk alone ?
Get some senior folks , where he respects , and talk some sence to him. Shape him or ship out !!!!!!!!
2007-10-10 01:35:43 · answer #8 · answered by jjshri ram 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should you move to the couch? Make him sleep on the couch. You are dealing with the pending loss of a parent--that trumps other problems like $$ loans or whatever other selfish fit he feels like pitching. You deserve his support and respect during this difficult time, but if he can't give you that, at least he can leave you alone and let you get a good night's rest.
2007-10-10 01:20:50 · answer #9 · answered by arklatexrat 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
if i am in your shoes, i would never sleep on the couch or even in a camper. he will sleep in the couch or in a camper. if he has a problem about it then he has to figure out that he needs to listen to himself if he is being mature or even decent enough to ask for debt repayment on your father's deathbed?!!! talk it over with him if it does not work. kick him out!!
2007-10-10 03:42:33 · answer #10 · answered by netz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋