Can compulsive cheating be a mental problem.?

Question

I know it is wrong and although I am not legally married, I am in a relationship with someone but, I cheat on him all the time. I have tried to stop but, its like second nature to me. Can I get help for this that does not involve counseling because I have already tried that and it has not worked.

Thank you all for your answers just to add more details. I was never sexually abused as a child. I was caught once before and it really hurt my bf. I don't go out looking for someone to hook up with but, wherever I go I tend to meet someone even when I am not looking my best. My psychiatrist diagnosed me with Borderline Personality disorder and one of its distinguishing traits is promiscuity. I love my BF and constantly think about ending the relationship because I am hurting him without him even knowing it. I don't think I am too much of a social person but, when it comes to talking to the opposite sex, I seem to have the natural ability to connect with them. Also, i never feel like I am looking for a relationship with others because I am usually the one to stop talking to them first for no apparent reason. Lastly, I am not a club hopper or dress scantily clad.

Answer 1

I hope it's a yes, think of want your doing to your boyfriend. You not telling him says you either don't love him or just like to lie, cheat, sneak and betray him. Break up with him, tell him either is fine. But you can't say you care at all for him if you don't do at least one of them. I can not put in words what i think of you for cheating on this man who's done nothing to you, ask yourself does he deserve this? I mean who knows if you haven't caught a disease for one of the men you cheated with and aren't giving it to him. Tell him he deserves to know.

Answer 2

Yes you can but first off ask yourself why you cheat, is it because you are insecure and need validation because he is not giving you what you want? That is usually the case and if it is then you need to not be selfish and let your guy go and deal with the problem at hand.
There is a book the Four agreements by Miguel Ruiz and the Mastery of Love by the same author. These books deal with many issues that are underlying and cause things like cheating.

If its a sexual addiction then you need to deal with the addiction part. There are so many different things it could be I would have to talk to you a little more extensively to understand the situation.

Love yourself enough to get help or at least read those books.

Answer 3

The reasons for this behavior are numerous. You could have a sexual addiction, just love the attention that you get in these on-the-side relationships, or love the danger of maybe getting caught. Physically, frontal lobe abnormalities in females have been known to cause promiscuity (just something to think about, not trying to scare you). I was a compulsive cheater for years and the cost was high. Even after being caught, I couldnt stop. I attribute it to being an unattractive teenager who finally caught the attention of the ladies in my mid 20's. I dont condone it and you should probabaly let your guy go if this is how you plan to go on. Be safe.

Answer 4

So many things could cause you to do this.

One thing that comes to my mind is a sexual addiction. But, what is it that is causing this addiction? Usually, from my experience of being around addicts for over 30 years, the addiction is a cover up of something that happened to them or to cover up a mental problem (example: my ex-husband used drug addiction and alcoholism to cover up his bi-polar disorder and ADHD).

I suggest you find a different counselor/psychologist to help you. If that one doesn't help, then keep trying. Every counselor/psychologist is only human and has a personality that could clash with yours just like anyone else in the world. There is a counselor or psychologist out there who specializes in this kind of behavior who you will 'click' with (since you are female, try to find a female) and who will be able to help you. BUT, counseling is only as good as the work you put into it. You MUST do some hard work and hard thinking to get better, if that is what you truly want. Getting better will NOT happen overnight; it will take time and lots of hard work on your part. Finding the right counselor will help with this process.

Sometimes, those who have sexual addictions (and yes, it IS a true addiction that takes over the persons life just like drugs and alchohol do and the person has no self-control, as one person suggested you do) have been sexually molested or had been raped in childhood or early adulthood. Not all of those who have been molested or raped turn to sexual addiction as a way to hide what had happened, but some do. If this has happened to you, you really do need counseling to help you to deal with all of the feelings and crap from that (I have personal experience in this area of being molested and raped, so know what I am talking about when I say you need help here, if this is what happened).

Please rethink getting counseling. It is worth it when you find the right person for the counseling, as long as you are willing to do the hard work it takes.

Answer 5

No. Can't be a mental problem. I was just like you five years ago. I got alot more busy with my career, then went through separation after getting caught. Realized later that I had lost a valuble asset in my career as a business person since my partner was an auditor. I was also in love with her and i have sinced noticed that it is hard to find true love especially after you screwed up before. Bad karma.

Answer 6

This is no psychic problem. He is not in love with you. He is just having his sexual gratification and this gratification can be had from any other girl. He promised with you. No. He was not sincere in his promiise. and he is not serious with you in your love. You are cheated upon and he will cheat you again. It is better for you to break it up now and if you don't do this. you will repent when your value will be zero. It is time to think and take adjusting steps. Good Luck

Answer 7

It is a psychological problem and no, you can't get help for it without counseling. Especially if you are as deep into it as you say you are. Whether you are religious or not, I would recommend counseling from a local church. Otherwise there are groups out there. It is possible that you have an addiction to sex.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Yes, I think that it could be a symptom of a psychological problem. If you feel that one counselor did not help you, you can try another. Also, you might see a psychiatrist to pursue other kinds of treatments. I am sorry you are worried about your mental health and I hope you find something that will help you.

Answer 9

maybe you just don't love him or maybe you crave the excitement of possibly getting caught. any kind of compulsive behavior is a "mental problem". but is this a true compulsion? do you feel you have absolutely no control over your actions or are you bored and don't want to admit it? you owe it to the other person to leave the relationship so he can find someone who loves him.

Answer 10

You answered your own question. "It's second nature to me." You don't need help, you need the experiences that come with this kind of behavior and so far hasn't happened. CONSEQUENCE. My first wife was a "compulsive cheater" and ONLY because she thought she married a fool. I used to work up to 3 jobs at a time, provided a home, money, cars ANYTHING she wanted and that was never ENOUGH. I used to hear my family degrade her for her behaviors which for years I blinded myself to, UNTIL friends started to tell me they would see her at bars with other men spending the money on THEM "I" was working my butt to earn. When I found this out, she was one step ahead of me as she "disappeared." That was 24 years ago and HAD I gotten ahold of her she would be DEAD for it is one thing to make a fool out of a man but to hear that person you supposedly love is using YOUR money on other men she sleeps with is going to FAR..... Hope you change your behaviors before someone you are making a fool out of puts at end to them for you........