I need help figuring out what it is my wife is looking for. Ive recently discovered that she isnt happy with our sex but she wont tell me what it is she really wants. I need help in figuring out what it is she needs, I know she "likes it rough" but not to crazy. Ive always felt kinda awkward doing that kinda thing but Ive been trying hard to please her... no joy. Help?!?!!
2007-10-09 17:59:20 · 10 answers · asked by prydespride 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
don't ever be embarrased about sex within the marriage because with time you will have to be more adventourous. Perhaps she is shy do stuff and ask her if she likes them.
2007-10-09 18:07:57 · answer #1 · answered by lavagal.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she likes it rough she might want you to just take charge a little more. It's time to not feel awkward about it and just step up to the plate. How sexy is an awkward take charge, rough man? Not very! Some women are drawn to sexual submissiveness. On a psychological level, it allows us to let go without taking blame. By blame I mean that most of us are brought up to think that sex is a bad thing, something dirty. Some of those feelings are hard to shake. When a man takes control, we can just let go and give in to passion and the heat of the moment. We can do the unimaginable because we didn't imagine it or initiate it. Being "told" to do something becomes very hot. Having someone be "rough" means that we submit our power and totally let go. It's an amazing feeling, really. Ask her about this and see what she says. If this is what she's looking for and you are willing to provide it then do it! Let go of your awkwardness and just be a man. Get into character if you have to. Take control. Learn the dichotomy of being rough and in control and being sweet and tender all in the same session. She might not be able to verbalize exactly what she wants. You will have to learn together. Get her to relax and open up. Let her talk about her fantasies. Listen carefully. By doing this you can both explore sides of yourselves that you might not even know about yet. Always be safe and don't be afraid to really dig deep with her and also with yourself. Hope this helps, good luck :)
2007-10-09 18:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by oracleofohio 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you have an open enough relationship to just come out and ask her what she wants that would help. But, unfortunately some people are not in that type of relationship. I was married once, and lost complete sexual interest with my ex husband, but it was after several years of him drinking and me growing up and him not and it got to where I just couldn't stand him to touch me. That's when you know it's just over. I thought I could go on without ever having sex again I had lost it so much, then I met my b/f after the divorce, and we 'mesh well' so much in that dept. have the same desires, are comfortable enough to speak to each other completely about our desires and 7 years late I can still get the 'quivers' thinking about it, and I've learned that's how it should be. If you have to actually try and/or do things that don't mutually turn you on as much, then that's just not fair. It seems like you really love and care enough to do 'whatever' it will take, but she needs to put in some effort and open up and talk to you. Maybe she's stressed out in other areas and just doesn't feel in the mood, maybe she's got something more serious on her mind, but in any case your sex life should make you both feel desired and desire and close and great when you have it, and never uncomfortable or like alot of effor to please someone. Good luck to you.
2007-10-09 18:12:51 · answer #3 · answered by HereIAm 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From the sounds of this question you two love each other undoubtedly with only sex as a problem. Since your wife won't open up to you, before the marriage goes downhill, as a psychologist myself, I suggest you both seek the counsel of a therapist. If she won't tell you the problem, you may have better luck if another person TRAINED in these problems helps. Good Luck............
2007-10-09 18:20:25 · answer #4 · answered by Theban 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU CANT figure it out. SHE needs to grow up and communicate to you what she wants and need from you. she must do know. now if she dont know how in the hell are you suppose too. all you can do is do what you do. and if she is still not happy than maybe you two should seek some counseling. because she needs some communication skills. GodBless
2007-10-09 18:12:04 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It would be so great if she would just tell u but I think maybe just spice things up.Dress up in a costume(firefighter,cop,whatever) just do something different and have fun.And also try being romantic another night,cook her a nice dinner with candles,have nice music one and rose pedals over the bed.Just be spontanious and do something different!Hope it all works out!
2007-10-09 18:10:17 · answer #6 · answered by Sarah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she likes it rough, maybe you should explore into the depths of lite bondage, to start. Blindfolds along with other sensory types of stimulation can make things a bit more exciting as well. Go check out a good sex shop together and push your imaginations to greater heights. It can be alot of fun!
2007-10-09 18:13:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your question contains the answer.She is noy happy with sexual life.She wants "rough sex" and you are not ready to provide ,fearing children.You have to provide the rough sex she wants and there is no other solution.An open discussion may help to find out what more she wants.
2007-10-09 18:15:03 · answer #8 · answered by leowin1948 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she won't tell you, she shouldn't blame you for not knowing. Tell her that you want to please her, but you are not a mind reader.
2007-10-09 18:04:26 · answer #9 · answered by bonnieboobabe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
is she a lesbian?is she cheating?
2007-10-09 18:13:47 · answer #10 · answered by Opps. :) 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋