Say it was just a 1 night stand, not a long term affair. Would you leave or not?
2007-10-09 17:31:06 · 18 answers · asked by ♥bigmamma♥ 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If My husband done something like this it would be very devastating to everything I believed that I had with him. Especially if he allowed me to believe that I could trust him and did not take preventative measures to walk away..... and not put himself into that much temptation that he had to act on it!! My faith would be destroyed, my heart would be broken and I would be angry as hell that he would not have thought to protect me from a possible life threatening disease.If he used the excuse that he was drinking and thought to wear a condom that would mean he had enough sense to not do it! You wonder how they even have the nerve to come back home to you ? They put all this grief into your own hands to make the decision about the future to change your whole lives and what becomes of it .....if you can live with it or not? I would think that the moment he had sex with this woman he had already made the choice to leave me. It would make me look at his entire character, morals, and commitment to me differently. Nothing would ever feel the same again no matter what good deeds he couldn't do to make me feel better. If I could find it in myself to forgive him it would not mean that I could ever forget it staying with him would only mean that I would try. If he truly was remorseful and was honestly sorry he would have to take full responsibility and be accountable for it. He would not have the freedom with me that he previously had and there would be some intense marital counseling for quite some time. I would make him understand that if he ever repeated this betrayal toward me again the marriage would be over...and I would stand on my word. He would also go with me to our medical doctor so we could have every STD testing they have out there!! He would have to earn and rebuild my trust and inform me where he is at at all times and I would have to able to contact him at places stated. If he could accept my offer on my terms and conditions that he would only be allowed to stay I might think about it and probably only if we had children involved? Only time would tell and how he treated me from here on out... and this would take some years.. for me to feel differenly about the two of us!
2007-10-09 18:20:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been very happily married for 16 yrs, and am lucky not to have one of those kind of guys. With that said, if he did make a one night mistake I think I would forgive him (well, not forgive him, but not leave him)...he would have to be extremely remorseful though. A long affair would be entirely different.
2007-10-09 17:37:33 · answer #2 · answered by lifeisgood 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be very hurt and very angry, and it would be tempting to leave, but he is the father to my 3 children... I would TRY to work it out, seek counseling etc. for the sake of my kids.
As to whether I could forgive him, it is difficult for me to say, I would try to.
Fortunately I have not had to deal with this, and I don't think I will have to. I do know that I myself have been forgiven of greater wrong than that by God, so it would only be fair for me to do my best to forgive my husband, providing he stopped and was truly remorseful.
2007-10-09 18:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by Thrice Blessed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on the relationship. what issues have the relationship gone through, is this the first time the second, or what. how many times did he slept with her, is she a girl looking for an easy ride and he got caught up or was he in a relationship with her while with you. but know that once a cheater always a cheater. GodBless
2007-10-09 17:44:01 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big mamma, it all depends on circumstances.a one night stand does not justify what he did. If he knew that you can always forgive him,he will make this excuse all the time. it's up to you whether you want to leave or another chance...
2007-10-09 18:45:36 · answer #5 · answered by islandgirl06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He'd see nothing but a dust trail.Doesn't matter how long he cheated for,just that he cheated.Can't have love without trust.
2007-10-10 01:45:47 · answer #6 · answered by honey_demoss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
leave
cheating is a deeper issue than sex
is a self loathing issue
and a such i couldn't be with someone who hates themselves so much
time is not an issue
as it seems like some will hold weak rationalization that one can be better than the other
2007-10-09 17:34:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depends,what the reason was they did it. & how committed to you they are & how committed to them you are. and did it damage the trust factor so bad you could never trust them again if they came home late for example. if so it's done no trust no relationship.
2007-10-09 17:37:23 · answer #8 · answered by mitchey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i am already fed up with him, that would be the perfect excuse. If he has been a good husband, well that would be another thing, I would hang in there if he is truly apologetic
2007-10-09 17:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by lavagal.com 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I'm out of here!2nd chance,no way.
2007-10-10 05:34:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋