Should you forgive your spouse for saying something very mean when he/she was angry?

Question

My husband said something very mean. He said he didn't mean it but,I'm really angry and hurt. Our 22 month old was crying after him, when he was trying to get some work done. Sometimes children could be annoying especially at that age, but he said "The 2nd one I did not really want, I have no patience." He's trying to apologize, and tell me he did not really mean it but I'm really hurt. We also have a 5 yr old. He's
very loving and affectionate with the boys but, when they act up he loses his patience very easily.He never hits them, but gets really flustered. Right now I hate him for saying that, but he's a good husband and dad in every other way. Should I forgive him?

Maggie...yup..actually I really wanted a 2nd baby, although he loves our baby
at the time he wasn't really ready, and he's still in school now...and almost finished but he wanted to be in a better position financially before any other children...but I'm a pharmacist so I knew we'd be ok,but its his pride.

Answer 1

yes.

Answer 2

Yes, you should forgive your husband for saying what he said to you. He was lashing out at you because of frustration. Sometimes we tend to say things we really don't mean to each other when things are not going right. If he already apologized to you, then you need to forgive him.

You speak of him like he is a loving husband and father to your kids, but if he is working and doesn't want to be bothered, then that's when you come in and you should be the one to direct your kids to another room. He should spend time with you and kids when he is not working or is not that busy as well.

If you don't forgive him and if you keep holding a grudge towards him, you will make your whole family miserable and that can lead to more problems. So, go to him and give him a big hug and say "I forgive you." Then things will be much better for the two of you. And mean it too!

I would consider reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and "The Proper Care and Feeding of Marriage."

Remember, we are not perfect.....we make mistakes too.

Answer 3

Sometimes the truth comes out in anger. Right now he must be feeling betrayed. I was in the same situation kind of. My husband got me pregnant on purpose and for years I was completely pissed off. I was in school and I was training for the police academy in which I had to put both on the back burner.

I am back in school and have graduated since, but I am still attending and having my daughter makes everything harder because he is a truck driver. Therefore, I am stuck now. You tend to get pissed when you have goals and your goals are slowed down because you have something in your way that could have been planned when the time was right for both and not just one.

In time, when he feels he is on the right track and business is being handled, he will have more patience. A man, real man, wants to provide for his family and it seems like that is the way your husband is. Evidently he felt he was already struggling trying to take care of you and the other kid and adding another was like putting a load of bricks on his back.

No need to walk around pissed. When the children are asleep sit down and talk to him and let him know how that made you feel. Chances are he needs to talk to you also.

Answer 4

Yes, you should forgive him. But, you need to really sit down and talk to him about his secret resentment. These are the kinds of things that people push down inside until they get angry, and then they come out this negative way. Also, you should tell him that saying these kinds of things in front of your children could really be harmful. A two-year-old may not understand, but, a 5-year-old would. Words can be just as harmful as physical abuse. Children learn to be parents by seeing how their own parents do it. Ask him if he would want his son to behave that way to his grandchildren.

Answer 5

properly, as a woman who've experienced being married, perhaps, your spouse fairly feels imparting you with yet another possibility.. and he or she's honest with it.. and what you're feeling now may be the guilt, and if apologizing replace into no longer adequate for you, you will only ought to start up by using treating her so specific accepted.. events are significant.. anniversaries, birthdays... christmas.. etc.. renew the spark by using beginning on the 1st steps in dating... i'm confident, if i'm in her place, i could actual love that.. forgiving ability additionally forgetting.. so forget the previous and only circulate on, start up clean on your dating and enable God be the middle. Forgetting doensn't advise that it could desire to be completely erased out of your memory.. properly except in the journey that your spouse gets amnesia yet forgetting ability that she already forgot the way it harm her and he or she's keen to start up over with you lower back...

Answer 6

Yes do forgive him.
As a mom sometimes I wonder how easier my life would be with just one child. I love my kids both dearly but the crying and noise gets to me and especially when I am under pressure.
Talk about it with him, then let it slide, if it happens again then you may get concerned.

Answer 7

Your husband should think before he speaks. If that is an impossible task, he could take anger management classes. His children are old enough to understand his tone whether they understand the content - that will come soon enough.

You should tell him when you are accepting his apology those kinds of outbursts won't be tolerated.

Answer 8

If you want your marriage to succeed, you need to forgve him. He said what he did out of anger and frustration and most likely never meant it. If you really love him, you should forgive him, because if you harbor this anger and hatred, it will drive a wedge between the 2 of you and can lead to bigger problems in the future.

Answer 9

Men are usually not as mothering as women are, and when a child is crying or fussing, alot of men can not deal with it. I would forgive him and in the future, when he is busy like that, I would try to intertain the children so that they just leave him be. A mans work is important to them.

Answer 10

Have you two considered family therapy? This could really damage your children. Words can cut worse than a knife. This needs to get resolved. It sounds like he has an anger problem.

Answer 11

you should forgive him, yes....know that if this is something that he says only if he's angry, he may have some anger management issues and should see someone about that....otherwise i'm sure that he's a good dad and husband, he just needs to work out his anger issues and not say everything that he thinks when he's angry....hope that this helped you....