My dad left because mom and he argued but didn't want to take me away but visit me evryday until I went to bed. I had to move out because my mom has had an affair on my dad and moved him in. My dad did not know about this until recently. My dad still loves her very much, I want him to find another woman who will not lie and cheat on him. What makes it worst so my dad cant go back because of a restraining order on him. He is a police officer and she said he beat her and raped her. And then told other people it never happened. It's just me and my daddy now. he scared because he is alone raising me but trying his best. He still loves her and has found God and his smile. Should he try to win her love back or move on. I can't see dad seeing another woman but i don't like him being alone and i don't want to be either
2007-10-09 16:32:07 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They are better apart. Life is about change and before you know it, you'll be changed to a grown man and will have your own relationships to tend to. Your mom and dad are different individual adults that have made good choices and bad choices in life. I know this because we all do. The choice is with them and them alone. You weren't there when they chose to come together, and you shouldn't be a part of their own personal choice to be separated,now, however way that has happened. As hard as this may seem for you now, it will most definately become more clear to you as you get older and into adulthood. I'm sorry that you have had to be in between their problem. You just keep your head up and a smile on and remember that whatever has taken place with your mom and dad, it will work itself out. Whether they're together or apart, with another person or alone. TIME is a great healer. You're a bright person, I can tell. That's just it. Your your own person. Let your parents hash out their own problems. . Tell them that you love the both of them and you just don't want to be a part of their personal adult problems. Ask them to please not talk about it around you and believe in your heart that time and God will heal their hearts. The love you have for them and the love they have (or had) for each other are much different. I'm a mother of 3 wonderful boys. My relationship with my husband and his with me has not been easy, but I found that talking to our kids about our problems only made things worse for our children, because so much of what was going on at that time, they just couldn't possibly understand. They wanted to have an answer but just couldn't understand,to what or for that matter, for what.
Marriage and children together can be very complicated. Much of this you don't understand right now but will someday. Fortunately, we can all look around us and see that not all marriages are bad ones. Some people are very happy together and their children also, but these families also have their share of troubles. That's life. Think more of the positive things and the good times. Thats what helps to keep us strong. Just know in your heart that life can only get better. This problem between your parents is out of your control, and you should not be exposed to their issues. These problems are theirs. I know you don't want to see either of them hurt or alone, but sometimes, in order to make life get better and happier, we may first have to go through some pain. It will get better though, as tough as it may seem right now, it gets better. I know when I was a kid, my parents argued, too. Somehow,I'd always try to think of ways to make it better, but never found a way. It wasn't until I became an adult that I understood that it wasn't my problem to worry about or try to fix, in the first place. All the worrying I did was a waste of my time and energy, and really made my childhood life difficult at times because of worrying about their adult problems. I guess this is why I can relate to your issues of whats going on around you. It will get better. Just focus on your education for now and sports, friends and having fun as a kid. You only get to be a kid once in life. Enjoy it as much as possible! Your gonna be an adult alot longer than you will a kid. Try to separate yourself (mentally) from your parents problems. It could very well be that they are so involved in their own thoughts that they just can't see clearly enough through it all right now to think of your thoughts and what you need right now. Just try to be understanding of it as best you can and I believe in time your dad will have a female companion to discuss matters with. Being separated from someone you love is very difficult. My suggestion as far as your father is would be to just let him know you love him. Pray for him also, This will help so much. Encourage him to pray as well. I believe your dad needs time to be alone for a while. This will help him to find himself better without interference from anyone else, at least for a little while. Remember, God never shuts one door without opening up another. Seldom do people stay alone. I'm sure that with time and prayer, your dad may just have the best times ahead of him. And the right person to share life with, as well. As a parent, believe me, this is not intentional. I'm sure your parents love you very much, they just aren't able to see past their own tough time right now. That's why it's important for you to express to them verbally, how YOU feel and that you don't want to be a part of THEIR problem. I wish you the best and will be praying for you and your dad and mom. God Bless You.
ps. praying to God always helps the problems we have. He does answer. Sometimes, it takes time, but he answers.If it's in his will for us, and we don't give up on asking, when the time is right, he will answer.
2007-10-09 20:34:46 · answer #1 · answered by Dorothy G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may be younger now but as you grow older you will learn that you can never come between two married people because you do not know the dynamics of the relationship. Do not judge your mom, do not lead daddies life for him, you cannot replace your moms position neither can you decide for him to get someone else. All these will come with time. Be a graceful daughter to both your parents
2007-10-09 16:54:00 · answer #2 · answered by lavagal.com 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mom lied about him, has a boyfriend and he wants her BACK???? A very forgiving man!!! That kind of man is hard to find....he should get out and find someone else to love---since you are obviously young, it might be difficult for you to accept another woman in your dads live, but as you said yourself--you want to see him happy....it's wonderful that a child cares SO MUCH for his or her father... He is a very VERY lucky man!!! and you are a really nice kid.... he is doing a great job raising you!!!!
2007-10-09 16:41:02 · answer #3 · answered by LittleBarb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your pain breaks my heart. So what I am going to tell you breaks it even more...
You must not worry about these issues and concentrate on your own problems in life. Nothing you can say or do has any power and is going to change anything.
Just love them both despite there character defects. When you are older, stay away from the mistakes your mom and dad have made.
Good luck. I will pray for you.
2007-10-09 16:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wish that you were my step child. I would love you as my own. I have step children that hate me for no reason other than I was born. You sound like you have a good heart, probably got it from your father. Things are hard right now, when things are hard like this, they always get better.....better than they even were before they got bad. Keep the faith....keep your good heart....love will find you both.
2007-10-09 16:41:17 · answer #5 · answered by Rein 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He needs to move on. Sorry kid but your mom's a *****.
2007-10-09 16:36:12 · answer #6 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋