well her dad is a mean guy and when she was little he touched her. and her mom and dad split up. and recentley they had a custody battle and he won. so if she goes back wth her mom and we get married then her dad cant try and get her. thats not the only reason tho we really love each other and we are not doing it to have kids thats the last thing we want right. her mom is ok with it she is takeing us also. we live in california and need to know what to do. im 17 and she just turned 15 we know we want this in life we love each other so much.were can we go to do it and can we really need some help
i just need to know if we can. every one tells me stuff. we love each other and im all she really has she has had a ruff life i just need to know if we can get married in cali. or any where else......i am 17 and she is 15.
and please dont tell me im to young and she is to i just really need some answers we know that people think its stupid but can you look past that please. we really love each other
2007-10-09 15:04:46 · 22 answers · asked by ar15olen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If she's fifteen, she's old enough to decide where she wants to live. And I want to know why this bastard isn't in jail. I won't tell you that you're too young to get married, because it has been happening in society even younger than you two for thousands of years, but it's not something to be taken lightly. With marriage come great responsibilities...it's not all endless love and great sex. Much of the magic wears off as the reality of paying bills and saving for retirement begins. However, only you know if this is the right decision for you, but think about it very carefully. I'd give the same advice to somebody who was forty and wanted to get married. Best of luck, and if her dad does try to get to her again, have him arrested. That should have happened long ago, anyway.
Oh...and some states allow you to get married, as long as both parties have parental consent.
2007-10-09 15:11:01 · answer #1 · answered by Molten Orange 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, I still stand by the answer I submitted earlier. You are still too young.
You don't make any sense with your added part about the dad. If he abused her, he wouldn't have gotten custody of her. And if he has custody of her, then mom couldn't give you permission to marry her daughter. If you married the daughter, and the father, who has custody of her, didn't consent, you're looking at a HUGE MESS. Ever hear of statutory rape?
If you really love her, be there for her. Do whatever you can to build up your life so that you can support her financially. I still say that I am not willing to support you with my tax dollars.
2007-10-09 15:12:14 · answer #2 · answered by justanotherone 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok.. i fell in love really young too, im still with him, and yes we plan on getting married... LATER. the fact that she's a new 15.. there's going to be a lot of changes taking place.. you're 17.. closer to knowing what you want but she JUST turned 15. i understand, she's going to be a bit "clingy" to anyone who shows her love because of her past, but marraige. no. i'm sorry. also, i think it's great you guys aren't looking to have kids right now. for some reason everyone my age is thinking oh, babies are cute, i'm in love, let's make one. really all they're doing is adding to the population having not a clue in the world to what they're doing. but when you say.. "that's the only reason we love eachother" is because of her dad.. no.. that's not why you love someone. she can seriously get hurt like that..best of luck..
2007-10-09 15:13:44 · answer #3 · answered by bebe_azul 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is wonderful that you have deep feelings for one another and that you feel a sense of responsibility to protect your girlfriend. Although this may seem as a good idea you need to understand that making a life long commitment to someone is a lot of work. You have not yet had the life experiences to help you prepare for this level of commitment and I fear that your desire to help and protect may impact your judgment. In California, you would need to apply for a license, have at least one parent each present and go before a superior court judge who would decide whether to grant you a license to get married. I believe if her father has legal custodial custody of her then he would have to be the one to gave the consent along with one of your parents. Here's a link you can check out. http://marriage.about.com/cs/teenmarriage/a/teenus.htm
Your best bet is to contact an attorney who specializes in underage marriages to get your legal questions answered. This maybe more of an undertaking that you can imagine not to mention costly.
2007-10-09 15:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Orion 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to be 18 in California. So get engaged now and get married in 3 years. That's what my husband and I did. We have been married for 20 years now.
The engagement period is a good growing and testing time to see if you are a good match. You might be a good match now, but it takes time to test it.
Also, it's not easy to be married at a young age like we were. This is because you have to grow up and mature together. I'm not trying to discourage you, but prepare you so that your eyes are wide open to what's ahead. Have you considered what it'll be like when your precious wife turns into a woman (physically) in about 5 years and suddenly every man she passes will be looking at her. Is she strong enough to handle that, are you? It's a big strain on a couple.
2007-10-09 15:14:02 · answer #5 · answered by J9 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'll skip all the you are too yuong stuff cause thats the last thing you wanna hear. I live in Cali also and believe if her mom and 1 of your parents goes down the registrar recorders office (where you apply and receive your marriage license) and they show id and that they are your legal guardian and sign off on it i believe you cang et married. I am not posotive on that but i am pretty sure
2007-10-09 16:49:05 · answer #6 · answered by ::Mama to be:: 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I live in cali and know the answer you need.
You CAN NOT get maried. As soon as she turns 16, then you can get married, but ONLY if your parents will sign for you and hers for her. If her dad has sole custody then he HAS to sign. Other then that, you have to wait for 18 (both of you) to get married. Sorry and good luck.
2007-10-10 06:25:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what the hell are you doing marrying a 15 year old? it's not a good situation to be in. how are you going to support her? work? how? where are you going to live? you can't even legally rent an apartment. this whole idea is bad. rough life or not, things will just get rougher. she'll be pregnant at 16, and you'll be divorced by 18. who the hell lets their 14 year old date long enough to know some kid she wants to marry? it'll pass, then you'll be alone.
2007-10-09 15:10:58 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I want to say yes you are to young and if there is another way try that first , but its not gonna stop you is it? My husband and I have been together since i was 15 (he 19) ..I am now 30 and happy to say we are happily married... so it does work! just not often and not without ALLOT of work and God...Look up your marriage laws in your state..also , I know in Oklahoma(my state) at age 12 the child can choose who they live with......but if you have it in your mind to get married , and nothing will stop you ( as i did ) get allot of support and counseling before and all through your marriage...
God Bless!
2007-10-09 15:25:48 · answer #9 · answered by Sarekay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well in all honesty, you can get married with parental consent, but she cannot unit she is at least 16 y/o... and with parental consent... and since her father has custody it would have to be him.
unless, she were to be pregnant or already have a child then she could marry without consent... but you still would need consent. (I don't recommend this though)
well this is the law in Florida... and from what I've heard its the most easy going state with minors getting married.
2007-10-09 15:32:48 · answer #10 · answered by jjbre 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋