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Alright, so a good friend of mine, also my brothers girlfriend is now 2months pregnat. It was unexpected. When she went for her first ultrasound, they said they found two heartbeats. Thats right, this 16 year old girl is having twins! She obviously has no idea what to expect from this. Any advise or suggestions?

2007-10-09 14:54:22 · 40 answers · asked by it'sKIRA 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting Pregnancy

40 answers

I'm not 16, but I'm 19 and pregnant and about to pop, and the best advise I could possibly give is to accept what has happened. Everything DOES happen for a reason, and these two babies are going to change her life, and it may not seem great at first, but they'll be the best things that ever happened to her when she is old enough to really understand and take care of them like she should. if her friends are there to support her and your family and her family, then she will get by and everything will be ok. I'm in my second year of college and I still go to work and go to school. I know it's possible to still go to school while your pregnant. Just don't let her drop out of school. If you are really good friends with her then just encourage her to keep up with school, and if people judge her then that's their problem. i guarentee all the people who make "fun" of her or point fingers are doing the same thing in one way or another! She can even go to night school. My sister-in-law was 17 when she had my nephew and still went to school and got her GED before her class did! It's not impossible to make this happen :) just stand by her!

2007-10-09 15:09:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3 1

That's a fair question, but the difference is the maturity level, and the culture. you say in South Africa they can't live off the government, that being said it sends a message to the young teens that if something were to happen and they get pregnant they have the responsibility to take care of the baby on their own. but in other places they are sent a different message, have a baby and don't worry , we will help you , now I'm NOT saying mom's should not get help, let me make that very clear, there are teens that have a baby and really weren't "trying" but its the ones who get pregnant on purpose because they know that they will be taken care of by the government and think they know how to raise a child just by being a good baby sitter , they don't think things through. its those immature teens that give it a bad wrap, yes some teen moms are wonderful, just as some older moms are horrid. but once again its the maturity level , those older moms still need to grow up and realize hey I have a responsibility and need to be a parent ,life isent about me any more. we as a socity expect a 20-30 year old to be mature ,have a job and be able to care for a child properly . where as a 16 year old hasen't even graduated high school or really held a job yet, so in places like the US the rate among teens is higher than anywhere else because we allow them to receive money so easily instead of being like other Countries like South Africa where its more of a , you did it ,you are responsible for it. this ,by the way , is geared more for the teens that get pregant on pourpose. not for the ones that actually do take the responsibility and step up . Oh and as for our grandparents actually it the great grandparents time you are refering to , yes they did get married earlier , but they also had to work earlier, most dident graduate, the mothers stayed at home and rasied thier kids , they were more responsible and most all did not have sex till they were married , they were more respectible, the divorice rate was lower, and they also did not live as long .oh there was no government help either, so thats why it wasen't frowned upon.

2016-05-20 02:55:56 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0 0

Wow, that is an extremely challenging situation. I'm a mom and even one child at a time, with a Dad at home and helping is very challenging.

If I gave her advice, I'd say, "Take good care of yourself, physically and emotionally." "Is there someone who can support you and help you in this t ime?" I would think that adoption would be a good option because I think it is too hard for such a young woman to raise the babies. Marriage is probably not the best choice for the young couple because of age. They need to grow up some more and get to college or trade school so they can support themselves.

All children are a gift from God, but all times are not equally good to bear children. Know God loves you and Jesus wants to help you with everything you go through. There are pregnancy clinics that are run by churches to help with unplanned pregnancies. They would love to help your brother and his girlfriend get through the challenges ahead.

A last word of advice, ignore anyone who is unkind or judgmental about this unplanned pregnancy and do your best to go on. Every experience helps make you the person you will be, so just learn and go forward.

I don't know how you feel about all the things going on in your family right now, I hope you are OK. You could be a great friend for them, do you get along with them, well? Good luck to all of you. I will pray for your family in this tough time.

2007-10-09 15:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by LeslieAnn 6 · 2 0

I'm 16 and 18 weeks pregnant But ONLY with one baby, I feel for her, Because Im 16 too and I know My life is gonna be the Biggest Challenge ever but My boyfriend is supporting so are my parents so it makes alot of things easier, I wish the best too her and for her to stay strong during this time because as scared as she must be she'll start getting excited as she ges farther along, age Does NOT matter Just tell her to Love her babies and get prepared, like parenting classes, teen groups, anything to help her! i wish her the best of luck!

2007-10-09 15:32:47 · answer #4 · answered by Mommy&wife 3 · 0 0

Tell her not to freak out. My mom had me when she was 16 and is the most amazing mother ever. She can do it. My mom didn't even have my dad or his family around to help. It's not gonna be easy but it is very possible and can tun out wonderfully. Tell her not to drop out of school. An education is the best thing she could give her children. Let her know she is not the first and it will be ok :)

2007-10-09 15:00:39 · answer #5 · answered by First time mom! 2 · 2 0

OH MY GOD! She needs all the support she can get, send her to a mother group, get her to meet and talk to other young mothers and be there for her so she can learn to grow and love these children, this is so very young and espcieally if she is not married? I wonder how she will cope, this will be the most difficult thing as such a young age and I only wish her the best of luck, god bless her and her twins!

2007-10-09 14:57:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4 0

she should put them up for adoption. Even if she knows the father, i think that adoption is the only logical choice. I am sure that the girl will be better off is she can continue school. And not to sound mean, but I also think that it would be best if the kids had devoted parents who were ready for and really want children. Adoption is wonderful and everybody wins. I am adopted and everything worked out beautifully. Find a good agency and pick parents well.

2007-10-09 15:15:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 2

Oh my gosh! Iam so happy for her yet I feel for her at the same time .Make sure her parents are good with the fact that she's pregnant,She should probably be homeschooled for a year or so to help take care of t he babies , hopefully her mom and dad are okay with the fact that they will have to help out ,Your brother will also have to provide for and help take care of these kids, she can't take care of two babies on her own with only her parents to only sometimes be there, good luck ! Hav efun being an aunt!!!!

2007-10-09 15:01:53 · answer #8 · answered by Courtney 3 · 2 0

Well....whatever she feels is right, she should do...
If she decides to keep the babies, be there to help her w/ all the work, I know bcuz one baby is enough...lol
Make sure she takes prenatal vitamins
Goes to all of her appointments
Possibly get her in a group, where will offer moral support and financial help w/ her situation, and parenting classes
Ask the girls parents to talk to her and support her
This is a huge responsibility.....plz tell her good luck 4 me!! <3

2007-10-09 15:12:13 · answer #9 · answered by mustard...yummy 3 · 1 0

She should take care of herself, see the doctor as he recommends. Try not to eat a gallon if ice cream in one sitting, it will make her really sick.
The same thing that she would do
if there was only one baby.
She's lucky to know this early.
My twins were a wonderful surprise.

2007-10-09 15:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by ♫ Bubastes, Cat Goddess♥ 7 · 1 0

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