When i say something to the effect that we are married and he needs to act like it and not do what he wants he consistantly says "we have a life partnership, not marriage". UM...we got legally married. we are a man and a woman and not gay. What is he meaning by this?
2007-10-09 14:27:43 · 23 answers · asked by Samantha 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow..that was a pretty dumb thing to say (no offense). Obviously this man doesn't understand what he was doing exactly when you two officially got married. Sure he knows you two are part of each other's lives now..but the fact that he doesn't realize that marriage MEANS being part of each other's life is the scary part.
2007-10-09 14:30:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The choice of a partner should be the one with the most "taqwa" (piety). The prophet recommended the suitors see each other before going through with marriage. It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown together and be expected to relate and be intimate when they know nothing of each other. The couple are permitted to look at each other with a critical eye and not a lustful one. This ruling does not contradict the ayah which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.
- The couple, however are not permitted to be alone in a closed room or go out together alone. As the hadith says "when a man and a woman are together alone, there is a third presence i.e. shaitan.
- There is no concept of courtship in Islam as it is practised in the west. There is no dating or living in defacto relationship or trying each other out before they commit to each other seriously. There is to be no physical relationship what so ever before marriage. The romantic notions that young people often have, have proven in most cases to be unrealistic and harmful to those involved. We only have to look at the alarming divorce rate in the west to understand this point. e.g. the couple know each other for years, are intimate, live together and so on yet somehow this does not guarantee the success of the future marriage. Romance and love simply do not equal a everlasting bond between two people.
Fact: Romance and love die out very quickly when we have to deal in the real world. The unrealistic expectations that young people have is what often contributes to the failure of their relationship.
- The west make fun of the Islamic way of marriage in particular arranged marriage, yet the irony is that statistically arranged marriages prove to be more successful and lasting than romantic types of courtship.
This is because people are blinded by the physical attraction and thus do not choose the compatible partner.
Love blinds people to potential problems in the relationship. There is an Arabic saying: which says "the mirror of love is blind, it makes zucchini into okra". Arranged marriages on the other hand, are based not on physical attraction or romantic notions but rather on critical evaluation of the compatibility of the couple.
This is why they often prove successful.
2007-10-09 21:40:52 · answer #2 · answered by muslim-doctor 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What does he mean when he says that? Well, he's saying it to rationalize his behavior to you and himself. It probably doesn't mean much of anything when you really get down to it. He is justifying his selfish behaviors. That's all. Life partnership and marraige are the same thing when your talking about a married couple. I think it just sounds like a guy trying to talk himself out of trouble with his wife, but it's definitely how he justifies doing things that he knows in his heart are wrong. Apparently he's childish and does them anyhow. Sometimes we men are fools. You should tell him that he needs to stop justifying behaviors that hurt you. Your his wife and he should consider your needs and feelings as well as his own. He probably needs to learn how to compromise with you on some things, and you should open an honest dialogue with him. Don't be mean or rude. Don't get angry. Set a rule (NO FIGHTING OR ARGUING) and then sit down and explain to him politely that sometimes he exhibits selfish behavior and that it does have an affect on you, his wife. He probably doesn't know how much it really bothers you. Open, honest communication will solve your problem sweetie. It will build intimacy in your marraige as well and bring you closer. Be sweet, Be honest, share your thoughts and feelings with each other and let understanding be the ultimate goal of the conversation. It's called dialoguing. It works. Good luck
2007-10-09 21:47:49 · answer #3 · answered by B. Nowlin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you're married so it is a marriage. I suppose he's looking at it as a partnership and prefers that term. You should definitely talk to him about it. Just ask him what he means by it. Don't try to get upset or frustrated but let him try to explain what he means. If I were married to someone who said that, I'd ask him what he means by it given the fact that we are married.
2007-10-09 21:51:49 · answer #4 · answered by Rockit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone can give you their idea of the meaning of this commeant but that may not be what your hubby ment when he said it. The only person who can 100% explain would be him. I would ask him but at the same time try not to put him on the defensive. You could explain to him that your just not clear of his meaning by this and as the first person said it could just be how he puts into words the meaning of your relationship.
But if that is what he met wouldn't he still want to act like your are life partners? I'm thinking he must be doing something that contradicts his words from his actions, married or life partners.
2007-10-09 21:41:18 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just let him know that regardless of what he thinks, you have a marriage license and that means you are married, but if he chooses to view it as a partnership so be it, whether it is a partnership or a marriage in his eyes, either way these things require COMPRIMISE! just because he chooses to see it as a "life partnership" does not mean that he can do whatever he wants when he wants, he is still sharing his life with a partner, hence COMPRIMISE! he is just looking for loophole, tell him the only loophole is divorce....hhmm
2007-10-09 21:38:38 · answer #6 · answered by pxyfox2000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I would be a little worried. It sounds to me as though he is not truly committed to this marriage. I would talk to him about his commitment and make sure he knows that this is a marriage and he did marry you. This business about a life partnership is crazy.
2007-10-09 21:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Partnership is very different than marriage b/c when you say marriage that includes partnership and commitment to each other.. partnership is just like companionship..
2007-10-09 21:41:56 · answer #8 · answered by MOMMY_G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he could mean it in two very different ways now a days husband and wife means nothing to people and it is so easy to get a divorce so maybe he is saying we are in this for life not just until one of us in bored or wants something different
or he could mean it as yes we are married but we are life partners even if we end up getting divorced we have kids and we will always have to partner on that weather we like it or not.
I think you should ask him what he means by it
2007-10-09 21:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by Kristi S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suppose he figures that since there isn't such a thing as a "life partnership" if he calls your marriage that, he can do anything he may wish to do, without violating any "rule", since he can make up any rule he might want, cuz that relationship is anything he decides it is.
2007-10-09 22:40:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋