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when he/she comes home it is like you don't exist? But you exist when he/she wants sex?

2007-10-09 14:27:43 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

12 answers

I can't lie...I used to be that husband. Until a little "birdie" told me that "There's always a man that will treat your wife better than you". That was a real eye-opener. So, I straightened up my act, and I decided to out do MYSELF, in the way I treated my wife. I had to realize that my marriage also existed OUTSIDE of our bedroom....

P.S. That little "birdie" was my own wife. So, give it a shot....

2007-10-09 14:33:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4 0

I'm so sorry for you. I have heard of people doing that before. I have often wondered why one would act playful and happy around their co-workers when they have someone who "loves" them at home. It makes no sense to me.

Unfortunately, you can do little to change him, but much to change you. What I mean by that is, recognize the pattern and try to figure out some way to break out of it. Whatever is going on in the home right now isn't doing you any good, so try something knew. For instance, how do you react when he wants to be intimate? Do you think to yourself...well, this is the "only" time we really connect and I don't want to lose that or nothing will be left? If so, then you need to rethink things. Recognize the used feeling that probably gives you..can't imagine it not making you feel that way, and think to yourself...It's not worth it. I am worth so much more than this. Make the statement to him that you like intimacy better when you are connecting on other levels as well. He can do without sex for awhile...maybe he will treat you with more respect. Just don't continue to set yourself up to get hurt. Set some boundaries for yourself. Do this with other things as well...recognize it and then do something "within yourself" to change the outcome. There is so much power in taking control of you. You will find the more you change you the more your partner will change too. It's weird the way it works. Good luck to you and I do feel for you.

2007-10-09 14:51:23 · answer #2 · answered by ShineOn 4 · 0 0

Who knows why women look at you in a rude way, you may have passed gas near her a few years back and she still hasn't forgiven you. More likely it is probably because another co-worker told her something about you that she didn't like, or she is upset that you never spoke to her earlier. Either that or she has taken your intentional efforts to stay away from her as you stalking her. I could never understand that one but apparently if you make it obvious that you are looking away when she looks at you, keeping a distance from her etc. Women can sometimes interpret this as the complete opposite and think that you are staring at her and following her. If you are uncomfortable with the situation I would go to her (in a public place so she doesn't feel you are trying to isolate her) and introduce yourself, then explain how you have been feeling and don't know why the dynamics between the two of you are the way they are. She should tell you her side and if it is trivial you should have a good laugh, if it is more serious then the two of you will need to go to your boss and talk it through with him.

2016-05-20 02:43:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hello, Is anyone home? Did it ever dawn on you that you maybe you married the wrong guy? Also did it ever occur that maybe just maybe your being used for his own personal sexual gratification? I,ve got a great idea? Cut him off from sex, then you will really begin to see his true colors, because right now you are only getting a slight glimps of the little boy you married. Once again another woman marrys a guy with whom she didnt get to know very well and most likely shacked up with, and now that the initial newness has wore off and all the excitment is over, she whines about him, did you not see the red flags while you were dating him? Come on! Wake up! you are nothing more to him than a sexual blow up betty doll and you just give into him, stop giving him what he wants! Then and only then will you see the real man you married!

2007-10-09 14:40:04 · answer #4 · answered by penelope 5 · 1 1

Yes I do have a husband who acts exactly like that.. . so fun-loving, friendly, cheerful, generous, around others but either watching tv or sleeping or on the computer at home. We've been married 15 years, 2 kids. Sometimes i'd like to share a bottle of wine with him, and see where that leads,. . . but he's usually not into it since he's just been out for his long lunches, dinners, and beer with the boys and is now tired and draped over the couch! I end up drinking the wine and feeling sorry for myself, and of course thinking ". . .there must be someone out there for me. . . ". I get so mad with it that I dont even want to be intimate with him, at any time. Unfortunately I did end up sleeping with another guy that I knew. It was totally wrong but I was looking for something that I wasn't getting at home. He has been this way for years and I get very resentful. Once it gets to that stage its time to move on. I am planning on it.

2007-10-09 14:52:17 · answer #5 · answered by Dreamer 2 · 0 0

You are describing my EX husband. Everyone thought he was so funny and articulate. The only thing he could say at home was "Where's the remote?". Try to rise above it and don't be afraid to point it out. There's not much worse than feeling like a ball and chain.

2007-10-09 14:36:29 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 7 · 1 0

When I was taking child development in college, I learned that children will act out in front of their parents much more often than in front of others. The children know that their parents will love them no matter what, but they don't want to risk disapproval from others.

Make me wonder if that is the way some people are when they "grow up." They want approval from their peers, but feel that their spouse will love them no matter what...

2007-10-09 14:33:40 · answer #7 · answered by justanotherone 5 · 2 1

no, but he does always joke around, and act like life is grand...comes home beat down tired, never like i dont exist, just a different kind of person

2007-10-09 14:33:05 · answer #8 · answered by poodle mom 6 · 0 0

yes and guess what he was very attentive to their needs always so eager to serve laugh and joke but this is only a man unless he like that to all men and women who seeks the attention of the opposite sex watch him put him check.

2007-10-09 15:07:48 · answer #9 · answered by crnlwllms 1 · 0 0

If you do not have children, then dump him before you do! You are beautiful and you deserve to be treated better!

Good luck.

2007-10-09 14:30:51 · answer #10 · answered by box of rain 7 · 0 0

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