How can I make sure I stay away from relationships?

Question

I'm getting divorced soon. I'm in school still, with 2 years left on my bachelor's, and I seem to have a little problem. I keep finding these abusive men. I've come to a conclusion that 95% of men are controlling, no matter how nice they seem at first. I really want to focus on my school, and be totally free to do what I want to do. Being as that I'm 23, I really want to make sure I end this viscious cycle of relationship after relationship (especially the abusive ones). Plus, being in recording arts, my classes are mainly men. I need to learn to keep detached and only think "work" with them.

I'm extremely independent natured, and I don't know how I keep continuing the relationship cycle. I really want to stop this, and continue on a life full of my dreams and goals.

I won't have health insurance after the divorce (only student health, but can't afford the dr). Are there any books, phone counseling, free counselors, etc that I could find very useful??

Answer 1

I'm sorry that your marriage has ended; that has to be a hard situation for you. However, congratulations on seeking your degree; you are smart enough to realize that the world doesn't end if a marriage does. You are still relatively young, but you need to take a cold, hard look at your life. What attracts you to the controlling, abusive men? Did you have some instability in your life (divorcing parents, rape, self-esteem issues)? Please don't believe that most men are pigs; there are some truly decent ones out there. You have the ability to be truly "independent", and yet have a stable, loving relationship; you just have to know what it is, what's involved, and what you truly want in a man. As for counseling, check with your local community services organizations; there are sliding scale counselors out there that would consider your income and still work with you. Find out what is causing the cycle of abuse and misuse, and then realize that the woman in the mirror is stronger, smarter, and deserves more than that. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

Gee whiz. How? Well, if you aren't open to being in a relationship, then either refrain from dating, or refrain from dating any person more than once. This doesn't seem too tough to figure out. I'm sorry, but a college student couldn't figure this out? You want some book to explain this better? Do you need advice on how to avoid getting sunburn, or perhaps how not to eat fried food?

Answer 3

keep wearing your ring and tell people you're married if they ask you out or something. but then you may miss out on that "perfect guy" that may come along. Don't give up, there's a perfect person out there for you. once you discover who you really are as a person you'll be open to a relationship and know who the right guy for you is. you can still date, just don't let it get serious if you're not ready.

Answer 4

you are able to grow to be a lesbian. yet of course ask your self precisely what sort of adult adult males you're going for? ninety 5% is a lot too severe. in step with threat you're going after a definite style of guy (character, character, seems, and so on) and additionally you maintain getting burned. i comprehend a woman who concept each guy grow to be a participant, she stopped relationship yet that did no longer quite help her. her undertaking grow to be that she continually went out with the nice and snug adult adult males and rejected those that weren't so warm.

Answer 5

You obviously aren't extremely independent natured to continuously get involved in one bad relationship after another. Realize that and I guarantee that you'll stay single for as long as you choose.

Answer 6

sorry 4 ur hard times,hope u find the right man someday.
http://www.jamaat.org/islam/WomanMarriage.html

http://www.islamonline.net/english/introducingislam/Family/Marriage/article01.shtml

http://www.jannah.org/sisters/marr.html

hope this helps good luck