He lives in the city that we grew up together in which is notorious for drugs due to an abundance of money
and lack of things to do. He has admitted his addiction and his parents were going to take him to rehab this coming Friday, but something happened with that and now he is not going for some reason and is intent on moving out of that city. I told him that he could come and live with me in the relatively drug-free community that I live in after he went to rehab. Now that he isn't going, he still wants to move either here or to another certain town that is even more notorious for an abundance of cocaine than our hometown (because he can make a lot of money working there). I don't know if I will be able to help him if he comes here to live with me, and it could cause problems for me, but if he doesn't come here he will be going into a "snowstorm". I have tried to convince him to fix things with his parents and to go to rehab, but there is no convincing him. What should I do?
2007-10-09 14:19:32 · 12 answers · asked by ph4lc0n 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Don't let him in.#
2007-10-09 14:29:04 · answer #1 · answered by ooo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As nice as you seem, please DO NOT invite this trouble into your life.
It seems clear that HE doesn't want rehab., (that could be the "holdup" there), he wants this lifestyle, he said that HE thinks he can make money off others with the same addiction, and he wouldn't change any of that if he was with you. A relatively drug free community won't help him, because an addict will always find a way to get his fix, and when the need is upon him, it won't matter to him how good a friend you have been, or how nice a person you are, all that will matter is his next fix, his next high, and he won't let anyone stand in the way of that. If he perseives that you are in the way, he could end up hurting you.
You cannot help him, until he is willing to help himself. Talk to those in groups like support groups for parents/friends of addicts, and they can fill you in better on what you may be taking on.
2007-10-09 14:35:02 · answer #2 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your last line answered your own question---"there is NO convincing him"..... he doesn't WANT to go to rehab, he hasn't hit bottom enough to want the help UP.... and until he HITS bottom, he will take down ANYONE around him. that's what addicts DO!!! You would help him more by NOT helping him because he will always be able to get cocaine even in so called "drug-free towns".... there IS no such thing any more... the guy needs to be in rehab but if he doesn't want it----the BEST thing you could do is NOT get involved...he's obviously been PREACHED to, talked to, people have probably TRIED to set him straight, he just DOESN'T WANT IT.... when he FINALLY bottoms out and decides to get the help he NEEDS, THEN you can be there for him WHILE HE IS GETTING HELP, but not now... he will take you down the path with him and it is NOT going to be a good ride.
2007-10-09 14:40:43 · answer #3 · answered by LittleBarb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen, listen because your friend isn't. You can not fix this.
You will not fix this. Do not allow this 'friend' to move in with you. You will be sorry. Note: not 'may' be sorry. You will be sorry. You will be subject to unexpected visits from distraught parents and cops, including drug raids. "Friends" of his showing up at your home at all hours of the night to visit and trade. Got that? Under no circumstances should he live with you. Under NO circumstances. He is making the choice to die the hard way. You can not fix this. You can suggest rehab, you can suggest medical treatment. You can not make the addict quit on the basis of mutual friendship. Addicts to do not have friends, they have sources. You would simply be an easy target for food, housing, money, etc. and all in the name of a guilt riddled miasma of a 'friendship'...Do not allow this mess into your life or home. Have the brains and I mean this kindly, have the brains to tell this friend that he cannot live with you ever. I'm sorry for you. Because I know, you will not listen to what I've just written. And you will be sorry.
2007-10-09 14:32:51 · answer #4 · answered by teacupn 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll tell you an unpleasant truth: If you want to make a friend into an enemy, move in with them. That's true in good circumstances, but in this one, it is definitely true. If you let him move in, you are asking for trouble and you know this. It is very hard to deny a friend help, but you did set the condition that he goes to rehab first. He didn't live up to his part of the bargain, so tell him as much as you like him, you can't watch him destroy himself.
2007-10-09 14:26:58 · answer #5 · answered by teddy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had a chum like that still, I undergo in strategies a jointly as in the past as quickly as we've been ultimate friends and that i asked him if he could ever smoke (purely typical cigarettes) and he pronounced no. yet now he's into drugs and each thing, I confer with him each as quickly as and a jointly as, i'm no longer relatively mad at him purely upset. He have been given surprisingly tousled as quickly as he have been given into it and stuff, so I purely had to bypass on. and that i did no longer even have very many friends returned then so it became into style of no longer basic, yet whilst i could have stayed friends with him i could are transforming into into that style of stuff too. with the aid of fact there have been a pair close calls whilst i became into surprisingly much prepared to do it.
2016-10-08 22:34:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing! He's in a downward spiral, and he'll take you with him! withdraw your invitation until he is off of coke! and not before! The only reason he is leaving town is because he is running away from his commitments to go into rehab! He's lying to you! keep away from him, or it will cost you more than you think!
2007-10-09 14:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would stand your ground and not let him move in. If there's cocaine to be found in your town, he'll find it. And once he's living with you and still doing drugs, it'll be even harder to kick him out than it would be to turn him down in the first place.
Keep urging him to get treatment. He won't change until he wants to, and that won't happen until he hits his personal rock bottom. Maybe you turning him down will be enough to convince him.
2007-10-09 14:24:39 · answer #8 · answered by Ralfcoder 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell him u care about him and that u have no problem of him moving in only till her goes to rehab.
2007-10-09 14:23:40 · answer #9 · answered by Vic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
2007-10-09 14:22:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to be open with him tell him i love you man but im not going to take this nonsense around me and be tough .if he is street smart then u have an advantage you know he is but don't let him use u man
2007-10-09 14:26:37 · answer #11 · answered by Baby T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋