hey is it right to leave?

Question

I have been trying to get my wife to get a job for about 5 years and being that we have a 4 yr old son she uses that not to work.I have been wanting a seperation for years and we agreed on that.If i leave and rightfully gave her notification that i was and she did not find a job by the time i leave should i feel guilty.Everone tells me that she using me and my son as an excuse not to work and will not find a job as long as i am there.what do u think???

correction i also want to take my son but she does not want me too.......

Answer 1

Leave. She is not helping you out in this marriage, you do what you must. I also have a 4 year old (and a 8 year old) and I do not have daycare, and hubby works swing shifts. So what do I do? I sub at my local schools. Moneys not great, but it's okay and I am on my kids sch.

Also take your child, it doesn't matter what she wants. It is the law in MOST states that as long as you are married that child can go anywhere with you OR her. Leave, take the child, and file a motion withthe courts.

Answer 2

Sounds to me Mr. Huggy, like you just want out and you are the one using the situation(you've been wanting a seperation for "years"). What was the agreement between the 2 of you when your son arrived, was she to stay home and care for him? What is your financial situation, do your finances demand that she work?? Take a practical look if she "does" work. More expenses like : child care, gas-to and from, less time spent on your child and as a family due to work scheduals and travel time, clothing expense for your wife, do you have the $ for her transportation - 2nd car or bus fare?? Extra money for Dr. expenses, cause once a child is in group day care they are prone to being ill, and or course someone will be taking off work to be home w/a sick child. And of course if she's working there will be less time for her to manage the household, so of course you have no problem chipping in with the laundry, meals, picking up your child from daycare ...And once you deduct "all" of the expenses of your wife working will it really contribute that much more $ for the hours she has invested and your child scarificed the loss of being raised by his own parents, the stress and change it will cause to your home? If she enjoys being a MOM and is good at it, if your child is happy and well, if the rent and bills are paid, the house and you too taken care of ...where is the problem? Have you really thought any of this through or are you merely self centered and not family focused in the first place?

Answer 3

Refusing to work to help out the family is wrong. It is not only your job to support the family it is both of yours. If you choose together for one to stay home then that is different. I would not feel guilty if I left. I don't know where you live but joint custody is pretty much the norm any more. She is using your son as an excuse and so far you have bought it. She probably figures that things will continue to stay the same.

Answer 4

that's abit much you want to leave your wife because she wont get a job what if she did work an you didn't would you like it if she left you an took your son why don't you try an help her get a job instead of leaving her... your son needs his mother just as much as he needs you.

Answer 5

if you leave why don't you take your son with you since you work and you can support your kid. quit trying to get her to deal with it as she obviously has no motivation. maybe taking her son will motivate her. he's your son too so step up the plate and take on the responsibility, leave your wife and support you and your son.

Answer 6

i believe Wingin it has a point. he's your resposability also. leave, no need to feel guilty, youalready let her kno rite?? go and live your life, but take your baby boi with u, he has no fault in your leaving.

Answer 7

yes it is right to leave she should hav been had a job

Answer 8

Yes.#