If custody is supposed to be in the best interest of the child than why don't they let the kid choose?

Question

All the time and money wasted in a long custody battle.

Can be as easy as the Judge asking the kid which parent do you want to live with? They pick. Done

Answer 1

SORRY, but everyone here has missed the point. Asking a young child to choose between parents is basically like the biblical account of Solomon threatening to cut the baby in half. That's a tremendous amount of emotional pressure. Not to mention the fact that if such a child chooses parent "a", then parent "b" will now likely have animosity with the CHILD.

So the court avoids such a scenario altogether for very young children.

With older children (12 and up) it's different because they have critical thinking... which means the child can now figure things out a bit better without the pressure.

Answer 2

It's that easy is it? Think again. The long term emotional trauma placed on the back of the child would be horrendous. Children often dearly love BOTH parents and cannot and do not want to be separated from either one. Forcing them to choose makes them say which one they love more. The child is smart enough to know that, and the pain and guilt the decision causes is terrible. Why would you be so quick to inflict that on a child. In cases where the child is of a sufficiently educated stage in life, say after the age of 13 or 14, then such a decision might be offered by a judge. But for any child younger than that, the decision making process must be done for the child. Custody battles happen because the divorcing adults want to use their children to hurt each other. The children get beaten to pieces by this process too.
Better to set a time limit. One month. The parents must agree to meet in arbitration and must mutually agree to visitation rights, money for care and education of the child, and then sign a contract to abide by that. Setting a strict time limit prevents long drawn out custody battles. If the couple cannot or will not decide, the judge must and that, is in the best interests of the child.

Answer 3

Legally speaking, it is because the kid is not party to the dispute, he is the subject of the dispute.

As others have said, many times the judge will listen to the children, ask some questions to get a sense of how the kid wants it to be, and use that in making a decision.

But it would be a pretty poor judge that abdicated the court's responsibility to a child. Sure, take it under consideration, along with other facts and opinions, but dismiss everything else? Naaahhh.

So it might or might not go the kid's way though.

Answer 4

While this is of course simplier, you have to think about the parents who don't care about what is best for the child (yes, there are plenty of those). If that parent is constantly telling the child how bad the other parent is, or all that stuff, the child becomes somewhat brainwashed into thinking even if they love the other parent they wouldn't live with them. I've seen it happen. Not to mention, it is a proven fact that people are more scared of the unknown then they are of the known. If a child has it bad at home, they would rather stay there then go somewhere safe. Just how the mind works.

Answer 5

Very young children are easily influenced by their parents. My 6 year old cousin "knows" that she doesn't want to meet her grandmother (thanks to her mom) even though she hasn't seen her since she was an infant and has no way of knowing what she is like. A mother might tell her child that daddy is a mean man even though he isn't, or a father might promise his child video games, when he is an alcoholic and not as fit to be a parent as the mother. For this reason, courts sometimes appoint an impartial 3rd party to help decide what is in the child's best interests.

Once children are older (13-16 as some answers have said) they can see through any BS their parents have been feeding them, and truly make a decision of who to live with.

Answer 6

Children often don't know what's best for them. If you gave most kids the chance, they'd eat junk food for all of their meals and never go to school. You can't put an important decision like custody into a child's hands, although most judges will consider the child's wishes in making a decision.

Answer 7

It would be smart to let the child choose but that doesn't necessarily mean its the best choice. If a child favors a parent they obviciously will choose that parent. Maybe one of the parents can't support the child. There are many scenario's with custody.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, in some states they do. I was accepted to law school in MI and my 13 yr old did not want to go and wanted to stay with his dad. His dad and i were never married and he had never lived with him before. The judge let my son (at 13!!!!) do what he wanted. UNBELIEVABLE! Now, we are in MI and my son is absolutely miserable and wants to come up here with us. Unfortunately, the system is not really set up for a kid who changes his mind.

I think letting a child make this kind of decision is a huge mistake on the court's part. My son has gone from a two parent Christian household (my husband has been in my son's life longer than his father!) to stay with a single heavy drinking father who has NO CLUE what it means to provide a loving, caring home to a child... No, judges should decide.

Answer 9

Well the "fun" parent isn't always the best. The child looks up to the one who can play with him and be with him a lot. Considering he thinks both parents buy his/her toys with money that each of them have. The parent has to have a good home and good job (and pay which could support him and the child). Age of the child helps to know what should really be explained. (This is for a young child)

Answer 10

A child doesn't have the maturity to make a good decision upon which parent to be with...The child would pick the parent that bought them cookies and ice cream everyday but was a bad parent in most other aspects. On the same token...the child would probably reject the parent that made them do their homework,was responsible and set limits...