Been living together as Man and Wife for 8 years;worried about if one of us dies,ILL,or jst needs to be responsible for the other.Love him with all my heart. He is a good man. A good provider.Sometimes Jealous, controlling,Paranoid, may drink alot, sometimes. But, I love him, and we are a Couple,
Just need to know if Marriage is the way to go to Protect ourselves;and yes, he wants to marry me.!! It is I , who holds off!he has been married b4, and I also, --not good.His exes have the reputation of being unfaithful;altho, I am faithful,have been always will be
2007-10-09 13:33:23 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes you are already putting up with his shortcomings so you might as well make it official.congrats
2007-10-09 13:46:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like hes really the one then Go For It! In some states 8 years of living together you are already married by common law.So Why not go ahead and make it official? Those personality traits you described dont sound to good though.Just dont let yourself become a victim of abuse.But If youve been together for 8 years and hes never physically harmed you in any way I say go for it but if he has abused you in the past I wouldnt be too sure about marriage.Good luck in what you decide though.
2007-10-09 13:44:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok you love him and he loves you
why are you living w a man you won't marry?
that concerns me and i hope it concerns you
are you willing to live the rest of your life w a paranoid alcoholic? and why? don't you feel you can find someone who you love and loves you that would never question your integrity,accuse you,or put beer above his responsibilities?
im not sure what you mean if one of you dies....
if your not positive after 8yrs !!!! that he will take care of you if you get sick then i am so sorry but this relationship is already over. it doesn't matter if rent/mortgage is too high for you to handle you need move on sweetie, you all i'm sure have been through alot but there is no law that says you have to live your life like this. it is up to YOU to make the decision and you are going to have to live with whatever you decide.
in short you are a beautiful young woman who has your life ahead of you,you are worth your mans undivided attention,you have to know that then you'll be able to really live.
many blessings
2007-10-09 13:50:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally I don't believe in long term living together. If you love someone, you commit to them in marriage. It's not just about the financials but it certainly makes them less complicated. It's about the statement you are making to each other. You two have banked you whole life on what your lives were with people before. That just doesn't make sense. If you love the man and he wants to marry you, worts and all (with the exception of abuse) get married. Do the right thing.
2007-10-09 13:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A jealous, controlling, paranoid drunk? Are you crazy?
By the way, jealous controlling men are most likely to be abusive. It doesn't always show up right away; my ex-husband became more and more so over seven years until he ended up being physically violent. You say "but I love him, and we are a couple" but honestly, from what you're telling us, it doesn't sound good!
2007-10-09 13:50:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont' see any reason not too based on what you say. my uncle got married for the first time at 50 - he's very happy. follow your 6th sense, your gut. if you are worried about illness and all that, make sure you are both covered with adequate life insurance and health insurance. it pays to be safe, rather than sorry. then, have a fabulous honeymoon!
2007-10-09 13:46:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have been together for eight years. Why are you holding out on marriage? Go for it. The exes have nothing to do with you. You will not repeat their mistakes. Good luck.
2007-10-09 14:45:26 · answer #7 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you know in your heart that nothing will change when you get that piece of paper go ahead. you have been living as husband and wife already and that has been OK so why should a piece of paper change that. so go ahead and get married
2007-10-09 14:23:45 · answer #8 · answered by Kiki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
silly, of course. get a prenup with a lawyer for both of you and a set of wills or trusts, do this before, and, when all the legalities are done, do something adult and sophisticated, like, hawaii or a cruise, or something as nice as can be.
congrats
2007-10-09 13:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by jaded 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes.
2007-10-09 13:37:48 · answer #10 · answered by jtease 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋