anytime something bothers me or stresses me out and I try to talk to my husband about it he gets rude, then we fight, and then he ends up depressed and says he's a bad person and a bad husband. I don't tell him that. It's just sometimes I feel like he doesn't want to hear what bothers me about things he does and usually he turns it around on me. What can I do?
2007-10-09 13:04:04 · 12 answers · asked by jingersnaps 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Be very clear when discussing about the things you need and don't need from him. Be sensitive to his feelings, we're all human beings, men or women. Even when you are bothered or pissed, it is necessary to show how much you love him. Emphasize how much you care for and love him when upset, so that he will not feel unloved.
2007-10-09 13:39:45 · answer #1 · answered by joshi 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well of course he doesn't want to hear what he's doing wrong. Obviously the way you're presenting it is making him defensive, and then killing his self esteem. It sounds like you have these discussions often - if THAT much of what he does is bothering you or stressing (?) you out, then I'm inclined to think that it's actually YOU who has the problem.
Stop nagging.
2007-10-09 13:10:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
According to what you wrote, you're more worried about him being depressed. I know it bothers you whenever he blamed on himself.
You encourage him to think positive and to stop blaming himself.
Do you want to be with someone happy or sad?
Ask him that question, ask yourself that question as well.
SO STOP BLAMING! lol
2007-10-09 13:11:38 · answer #3 · answered by www.usanetsol.com 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It sounds like he suffers from a special kind of selfishness.
Just know that you cannot change him. Now you need to decide if you are going to love him the way he is- flaws and all- or if you are going to leave.
2007-10-09 13:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
It get u make over him u need get u a church or friend women talk with
2007-10-09 13:49:01 · answer #5 · answered by rnd1938 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
At least he listens. Mine doesn't even acknowledge what I say. I'll say, "My entire right arm was cut off today and I am bleeding all over the new furniture." His response will be, "Oh. Gee, I wonder where I put my favorite shirt."
2007-10-09 13:14:17 · answer #6 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
while he may not acknowledge it, this is passive aggressive behavior, and it is his only means of dealing with confrontation.
It's not solving the argument, just putting it off until it comes around again.
Therapy will help both of you how to learn to communicate effectively.
2007-10-09 13:10:35 · answer #7 · answered by greybeads 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
sounds like your husband is a nut job
2007-10-09 13:07:54 · answer #8 · answered by KRIS 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Whatever you do... don't stop talking to him. That is what I did and now my marriage is in serious trouble.
2007-10-09 13:17:08 · answer #9 · answered by justagirl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he needs to see a therapist; that behavior is very manipulative....and passive / agressive and you play right into ..... ...you both have assumed your roles in his mental health issues......
2007-10-09 13:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋