my fiance have been together now for over 3 years & known each other for more than 7years. we are now living together with 4 dogs & life for most of the time is good.
however i work 2 jobs & he goes to university still there is some friction at times. i have to wake up at 6.30am, rush home, pick up the dogs, take them to my other work & work till about 7pm. i get home & i collapse but i still have to have time to do the laundry and feed the dogs.
he is getting better at helping me as he takes the dogs out with me at night but then he will watch tv in our bedroom till about 1am so i am not sleeping well. then when i ask him for a little help walking the dogs in the morning he gets very angry at me.
it's very hard to talk to him as he takes everything the wrong way, spirals up, explodes, leaves, comes back and then just wants to forget about it. it's hard for me right now & i just feel like i would like a little support but i can't ask him as he gets mad. maybe i haven't described the..
2007-10-09 13:00:26 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
situation as good as i could but i just feel lost and so frustrated.
am i expecting too much?
is it too much to ask if he could walk the dogs in the morning so i can sleep just a little longer? he only needs to get up at 10am or later as uni normally doesn't start till 2pm.
is it too mcuh to ask that he helps me sometimes when i just feel like giving up?
i don't know maybe i am just ranting but i really feel lost!
thanks for listening either way!
2007-10-09 13:02:21 · update #1
heres the thing, men tend to do only what they think is absolutly needed then kick back and once they are in that mode it is hard for them to listen, let alone get up and do something. maybe you could catch him at a time when he is not in kick back mode or just getting home (maybe on a weekend when you are hanging out together) and calmly speak with him about what your feeling. tell him you know he does a lot (even if its not true) but your feeling overwhelmed and would really love his help with a couple of things, then you could give him a "choice" of what to help with. for example..."i find it extremely difficult to rush home to get the dogs so every now and then could you bring them to work for me? or if you would rather do a couple loads of laundry before settling down that would be amazingly helpful also." by giving him a choice you will be making him feel as if it was his decision to help and wont feel as forced. hope thing change for you and good luck!
2007-10-09 13:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by Ashley 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are not expecting too much. He sounds lazy and selfish. I would rethink marrying this man. Imagine what it will be like when you have children. You have all of the responsibility it sounds like and he has it made. Honey, lay down the law. Tell him how it is and stick to it. You need some help and if he is not going to give it to you then you really need to take a good hard look at your relationship. He should want to make things easier for you without you even having to ask him. He should not yell at you and storm out and then just expect you to let his maltreatment go unchecked. He will continue to do this as long as you allow it. He is very controlling it sounds like. It is his way or he throws a temper tantrum. I would not even consider marrying such a self centered man. You deserve better and I hope that you realize it soon.
2007-10-09 15:05:17 · answer #2 · answered by kim h 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ear plugs. Seriously. Or get rid of the television in your bedroom.
My husband watches tv late into the night, too.... and, well, if I don't get up at exactly six, my cats decide to take a crap in the hallway, lol.
Anyway, I use earplugs. I used to worry that I wouldn't hear the alarm, but I always do.... Or he hears it and smack my butt. Either way, the cats will definitely wake me up... They bat at my head and chew on my nose about ten minutes until six. God forbid I ever get to sleep in....
My point is this. Compromise with the easy stuff. Find little solutions to ease the friction a little. My husband needs to sit in front of the tv until 1am, that's fine. I don't have to suffer, though. We have one bathroom and I like to take really long baths with candles and the door locked! He has to deal with that.
Just do what you can to make your life more sane. Hopefully, he'll come around. If not, it's time for a reassessment of the relationship.
2007-10-09 13:10:56 · answer #3 · answered by Yup Yup Yuppers 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ahhahah! Sorry but that is my situation only reversed. I am the lazy student and my husband is the work acholic!!! My husbands quik fix was very very effective, he went to a lawyer and talked to him about getting a divorce!!
Talk about a wake up call, I now help with every thing and do my share, it's hard to break bad habbits but if yuo have a good reason to improve and get better habitts you will. We are now trying to work things out and i plan never to be a slacker again.
2007-10-09 13:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by insanityx2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i does no longer anticipate it in spite of if it could be valuable in the event that they could come. there are various clarification why human beings won't be able to easily drop each little thing to attend a marriage (or the start of a toddler). some human beings have jobs and can't take trip for the period of specific situations of the year, some human beings don't have the money for vacationing and others do only no longer desire to shuttle. in case you actual need them to attend the marriage, which you should to think of approximately shifting your wedding ceremony lower back so as that they have got a lot of time to make preparations.
2016-11-07 20:23:16 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about getting rid of the dogs? or perhaps the fiance? Seriously.....I don't think you are asking too much....I am assuming that the dogs belong to both of you so you both should share the responsibilities of taking care of them...also...why not have your fiance watch tv in another room at night? That is rude to interrupt your sleep just because he isn't tired.
2007-10-09 13:06:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do not have any specific advise for you, but there are a few things you may want to know...
Just know that you cannot change him and this is who he is. Sure he may get better overtime, but he may also get worse. Especially if it is a drinking problem that he has.
He may also be suffering from emotional or psychological problems.
the bottom line is think carefully about marring him and be honest with yourself about whether or not you are ignoring any other "red flags."
Good luck.
2007-10-09 13:07:49 · answer #7 · answered by box of rain 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
if you stop doing it all he will have no choice but to help out.
tonight tell him that you are not going to take the dogs out in the morning that you are getting up later.
tomorrow, DO NOT TAKE THE DOGS OUT. if they crap in the house he can clean it up
if he has a fit too bad!!!
he can not treat you badly unless you allow him to!!! grow a backbone and stand tall !!! you are working hard enough!!!
2007-10-09 13:13:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You choose a student as a partner and then complain that you have to work too much? Self inflicted, I'm afraid. If you don't like it, get a new partner. Preferably with a well paying job.
2007-10-09 13:07:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
He is doing nothing compared to you. He also has anger issues. tell him to straighten up or move out.
2007-10-09 13:05:55 · answer #10 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋