why do people get a divorce after many years of marriage, do they fall out of love?

Answer 1

yes. they fall out of love or grow apart.

Answer 2

The actual answer to your question is "it varies". When "falling out of love" happens, though, it usually is a slow decline rather than (like) falling off of a cliff.

I agree with the person who answered that TRUE love accepts you totally, flaws and all. The problem is that many, many times couples get married either hiding their flaws, putting "icing" on their flaws, or developing new flaws after the marriage. THEN you find out who your spouse really is; could be a week, a month, a year, or a decade later.

Sad but true.

Of course, once the flaws are found out, the question is are they "accepted" or does the partner try to "change" you out of your flaws. This depends on many factors: the seriousness of the "flaw", the two individuals themselves, sometimes their families and, most importantly, their own "world view" which may either include positive attributes like "flexibility", "tolerance", "forgiveness" or "loyalty" (just examples but some of the BEST examples), OR they may exhibit "stubbornness", "pride", "envy", "greed", "unjustified anger", "laziness", and "hopelessness".

If one partner tries to change the other, it is usually a bad sign that they either don't trust the partner to change the negative trait OR they can't accept the partner with the negative trait.

As always, one must truly change himself if there is a desire to change; even without desire, the partner should be willing to accept non-change or there will be the gradual "staircase" out of love.

Finally, counseling doesn't always work. One must be willing to take the advice, apply it to their own situation, or accept the consequences. Many individuals in a relationship don't even know why they do what they do - they may end up a "silent partner" if kids are involved, unwilling to argue in front of the kids, yet also unwilling to open their mouths for fear of starting a new argument.

Hope that helps!

Answer 3

Yes ! I married young and with a heart of thinking I could change a man that was hot tempered and selfish and always wanted a party life style. You can never change a person ever I found out. I even thought a child would make him a better man. His temper ended up beating me down after awhile and it tuned into verbal abuse and some physical ( throwing things, punching objects to scare me) It got me so down that I wasn't in love with him any more. Because I based my marriage on the thought love can change any one, was I wrong. He ended it all with cheating on me. It was 13 years of hard memories and many learned lesions. Hope this helped in away.

Answer 4

there is many reason why or how did this happen.....but some just feel like there is proably something early on in the years they knew that they should have took serious enough to know that there was a problem but ignored it and now it is finally just exploding out of control that they just cant it anymore. I have been blessed to have both my parents as of this day....but I have witness so many family members just go through very difficult divorces and its sad that things like this happen but its life and we just learn to deal with these issues and try and hope for something better

Answer 5

I got a divorce after 10 yrs of being together... I thought I would always be in love with him no matter what, but after meeting a wonderful man and being with him for 2 years I have found that I am no longer in love with my exhusband. I think that time has turned it into just a fond memory of what we once were.... I didn't fall out of love with him while married... just couldn't deal with all the drama and pain anymore. I do think he fell out of love with me though... so I guess it can happen

Answer 6

The reasons are as varied as topics in a rudimentary encyclopedia. It could be as simple as a lack of affection or emotion for the partner or it could be a betrayal of some kind. It could be a personality conflict. It could be a loss of interest, someone gained a lot of weight . . . see what I mean? I've learned that people can genuinely love each other for a very long time . . . but BEING "in love" is totally different altogether. Being "in love" is what allows a marriage to last long periods of time.

It's true what they say...If you don't have love, you have nothing!

Answer 7

My parents divorced after 23 years, i think they grew apart as they were bored with eachother and took eachother for granted.
They were also curious about other people to i think, they ended up having affairs on eachother, which done it in the long run.
They had been together since they were 14 and married since they were 18.

Answer 8

they do it after a about 10 years sometimes they just fall out of love

Answer 9

Firstly, we were never meant to live as long as we now do.... Most people died by age 33 or so 2000 years ago. The average age in India today is 33, same as it was in the Middle East during the time of jesus. Egyptians as well, didn't live long, and were encouraged to marry by age 11 or so. Even in Europe durng the Middle Ages, people rarely lived to age 50, being killed in wars, in childbirth or died of injuries.... so firstly, we live longer

And secondly, we live a healthier life longer, so we expect more.

and lastly, things do indeed wear out... cars wear out, teeth do, tires do, and relationships do.

But never be sad one is over, be glad that you got to experience it.....

Answer 10

I was married for 39 years when I divorced. In our case, after the children left, we just wanted different things from life in our remaining years, it wasn't ugly, we both new that we had to go our seperate ways to find real happiness, I moved from NJ to Florida then to Tennessee where I currently reside, I have married a gal who shares my interests and dreams. My ex, hasn't really moved on much, still in NJ living with our oldest daughter, but if she is happy with not doing much with her life then that is her contentment, me, I wanted to live far from NJ, if you have ever been there then you know why.

Answer 11

I never fell out of love. I divorced after I ask him to go to counceling and he refused. I still love him but he is still bitter and hurt. He has the same problems with his new wife that we had (we had 2 separate lives )