Psychologically speaking...what do you recommend I do in the meantime and how should I deal with him...
don't contact him anymore, let him contact me
keep conversations short, etc.
we live in different states now
He's left us for another woman...hasn't filed for divorce either doesn't want to pay or deems it as too much of a hassle.
Why do I want to reconcile? I just want to make sure I've tried everything...I told him I forgive him but he still has a hardened heart. I believe we can get through this if he's willing...but that's the thing what can I do to let our communication be positive, to let him realize what he had, to let him be willing?
Please serious answers.
2007-10-09 12:06:54 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
apparently, you have asked plenty of questions and laid awake at night thinking of more questions to ask about this cheating man. He has made himself clear to you. HE IS WITH SOMEONE ELSE! Let it go and start living for you and your kids. Why would you try to make yourself any better, trying to get him back? Why would you even want him back after he has been with someone else that he NOW love enough to turn his back on his kids and you. Stop talking to him, file for the damn divorce, get him in the pockets and move on with your life, before you start looking 10 years older than you are.
2007-10-10 11:27:55 · answer #1 · answered by Go GO Ressa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've done all that you could. I was in a similar situation with my ex several years ago. It is hard to turn off the emotions even when someone treats you wrong. File for divorce and move on with your life without him. Trust me I had to do the same thing and it was the best decision I could have made, although I wasn't sure at the time. It's hard but you'll do fine, takes time, be gentle with yourself and surround yourself with good non judgemental people. find a support group maybe one on codependecny
2007-10-09 21:03:26 · answer #2 · answered by inkster7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he left you for another woman, what reason does he have to have a "hardened heart"? If anything, you should be resenting him. But that is not the case I assume. Try to look at this objectively. You have basically told him that the slate is wiped clean, you've forgiven him and want to make it work. There are so many men who wish their wife or girl would take them back after a mistake like that. Many of them try desperately to get back in their woman's good graces. Your husband is not doing this. So that should be a strong indication that he does not want to come back to you. I am not telling you not to try to win him back, but I want you to think it through completely. IF you do get him back, do you believe he will be totally loyal and faithful to you for the rest of your life together? If you have doubts, don't do it.
2007-10-09 19:25:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that you are going through this but it doesn't sound like he wants to come back. You said "us" does this mean there are children involved? Make sure your children do not see you begging for him to come back, especially if they know what he did. They could grow up to think that behavior (what your husband did) is okay. I think you should try moving on, go out with your friends or on a date with another man. I am pretty sure that once you do you will realize there is more to your life than the man that cheated on you and doesn't want to fix things. There are other men out there that will not do this and that man is waiting for you somewhere.
2007-10-09 22:14:43 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Due with baby#1 06/08/09♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've made it clear to him that he's welcome and you want to worrk things out....I don't know much else you can do. He either wants it or he doesn't. I do not believe you can do anything that will MAKE him change his mind. It's unhealthy to think that you can MAKE him and perhaps that could be part of the reason why your relationship had troubles in the first place. You can only control so much, and it's not the actions of others. Sorry you are going through this heartache.
2007-10-09 19:47:41 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He left you, right now you should spending this time on acceptance of what has happened. Its over. Accept and move on. There is no magic formula to get the person back, if you think that your watching too much TV. It wasn't right in the first place, this is proof of that. Your beating a dead horse, I think you have tried everything, this point is wanting to control something you didnt have in the first place. Lessons learned move on.
Sorry to say it, move on
2007-10-09 19:15:42 · answer #6 · answered by krennao 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say this, but it doesn't look like he's going to change his mind. He obviously cares more about getting his rocks off than he does about you or his family. File for a divorce and take the lousy SOB to the cleaners. He deserves it!
2007-10-09 19:12:20 · answer #7 · answered by tangerine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋