Normal grumpy baby or am I doing something wrong?

Question

My baby is 4 1/2 months and my baby cries allot. We have never let her cry it out and we always attend to her when she needs anything (food, cuddles, sleep, play ect) Shes totally breastfed and it doesnt appear to be related to tummy trouble or pain. She usually appears to cry over boredom, tiredness, frustration and anger. Im not sure what to do. Can this just be her sensative personality or is there something as a parent Im not tuning into?

Answer 1

I don't think you are doing anything wrong. Your baby is just showing her emotions by crying, since that's the only way babies know how to do it. It actually becomes easier as they become older babies...my nine month old rarely cries unless tired...she has a grumpy "growl", a whiny noise when she wants to be cuddled...etc. As she masters different sounds and vocalizations you'll be able to tell what she wants.
The person who recommended a sling might be on the right track for you. I had trouble getting my baby used to it (and my back) but by three months I carried my little one in a bjorn (front facing) and she LOVED it. We would do housework, I would talk her through my everyday experiences, and we would go outside and on trips so I could name things for her and introduce her around. She adored the physical closeness and enjoyed seeing new things. It might help for both of you, since it can be so frustrating not to know what to do!

Answer 2

One of my friends has a baby who is now 5 months and the same thing was wrong with him. It seemed like no matter what she did, even after she would feed and bath him he would still cry and she had no idea why. One thing I can say though is that when the baby wouldn't stop crying she would get very flustered because she didn't know what was wrong with him and her being stressed would make him cry more. So one thing I would tell you is to stay as calm as possible no matter how much or loud she cries. She eventually made a dr. apt. for him and found out that he was a colic baby. I'm not exactly sure what the symptoms of colic are, but it does cause a baby to be fussy. If I was you, I would call the dr. and see if he has any suggestions.Hope this helped;.

Answer 3

The baby is normal, and appears to have figured out how to get the aqttention it needs. If you seem to know what it is crying about, and do something about it, then there is nothing wrong with the baby, or the parents. Some babies are just more alert to what it wants and how to get it.

Answer 4

It isn't healthy to allow newborns to "cry it out". However, at some point you need to be sensitive to the fact that she is a human child who will "get your number" eventually and start to monopolize your time.

It could be that you simply have not figured out what she needs during these times and so she's frustrated because you aren't picking up on what she wants. But it could also be that she is a bit of a hot personality that reacts quickly to little things.

One of our children was very happy-go-lucky and really only fussed when there was a good reason. Our other two...well that's another story entirely. Child number two got bored very easily and was a demanding little guy. To this day, no longer a baby, he switches activities often and needs continual stimulation to be "happy". Thankfully he's older now and doesn't require the same type of entertainment as he did when he was a baby.

Our youngest got a lot of attention from her older sibs, as well as us, and got a little too used to being waited on "hand and foot". By the time she was about 6 months old she was getting on the spoiled side. If she didn't get her way as soon as she expected she had tiny baby tantrums. As soon as I saw this happening I started working at lengthening her "wait time"....basically letting her cry it out once in awhile... gradually requiring her patience to develop, until she stopped expecting the "princess treatment" as my mother called it.

Soooo, back to my initial statement. You want babies to feel secure and crying it out is not the way. However, at some point you need to take over and decide who is in charge of the situation. Make sure you aren't being manipulated because they are very smart and it will only get worse.

The only way to see what she's all about is by trial and error. If she fusses and you ignore it...see what happens..does she get over it? Does she cry and become sad? Does she cry and become mad? If she gets mad and angry, chances are she's having a tiny tantrum and maybe you need to let her have it and get it over with.

My mother used to say that sometimes babies need to have a good yell just to get their frustrations out, just like older kids..and even adults. But she didn't believe in babies just being left to cry.

Find the fine line as she moves from newborn status to "willful child" and your vigilance will pay off... (and you won't have a 12 year old "fusser", either! lol)

Answer 5

I had been having this issue with my daughter. After reading several articles, i deciding to give one a try... I hadn't regularly put her down for naps, i thought "if she's tired she'll sleep, and if not i want to spend every waking minute with her entertaining so she learns and develops as normally as possible" (yeah....first time mom you caught me). I read a few articles about the effects of sleep deprivation in newborns. Inconsolable crying nearly all day off and is one of the main signs. The articles stated that babies needed to put put down for a nap (rocked, bounced, whatever method works for you) after 2 to 3 hours of being awake. Your baby will give you signs , such as rubbing her eyes, and loosing interest in toys or people. It is essential for babies to sleep as soon as they show signs of tiredness, or you run the risk of them becoming overly tired and stimulated. This results in a fussy baby, who once asleep, doesn't sleep well, perpetuating the problem.

I also assumed the longer i kept her awake during teh day, the longer she would sleep at night. According to the researchers who wrote the articles, this actually has a negative affect. In order for a child to sleep through the night, they need adequate sleep during the day to avoid becoming overly tired. I've only been trying this out for two weeks now, from the first day i had her on a sleep schedule , the crying stopped. She goes down for a nap 2 hours after she wakes in the morning, and then once awake naps every two to three hours afterward, she still doesn't sleep through the night, however she doesnt sleep any less, and is a happier baby when awake during the day.

Answer 6

Make sure she's not sick. If you are certain she is not, then try cuddling her when she looks uncomfortable. Spend a lot of time playing with her, taking her out on strolls. Have you tried a baby carrier? I have the ergo baby carrier and it is so good. I take my baby (now 9 months old) out in it all the time and he loves it. You can also put your baby in it and get your chores done around the house.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

Do you hold her a lot? As in, do you carry her with you everywhere? Perhaps even have a sling? If not, then try that. Attend to her BEFORE she needs something. It's hard to be bored when you're being brought to all kinds of places around the house and watching all the stuff mom is doing and it's easier to fall asleep when you're comfortable near mom. As for frustration and anger... That could just be a personality thing.

If you are already doing all that, try to keep a log of when you feed her, her activities, her sleep time, etc. You may be able to find a pattern of some sort and perhaps plan for it or specifically plan some different activitiy for that time.

Answer 8

All babies are different and some are more easy going than others. I think it is good that you don't let her "cry it out" as this fosters trust in her parents. This is most likely a stage she is going through and will get better with time.

Answer 9

This is normal. Newborns are afraid of living in the world by themselves so they cry. By 6 months, it'll get better.

Answer 10

Do you go over and pick your baby up at every sound she makes? If so, that's probably your problem, your baby has gotten used to being held alot and wants that secruity all the time. I know some mother's may disagree with me but I do think that there is such a thing as giving a baby too much attention. Babies need to know that you will be there for them if something is wrong but they don't need to be held every waking moment of the day.

If you don't think this is the problem then I would talk to your pediatrician about it. There may be an underlying problem (acid reflux, colic, gas, etc) that has yet to be detected.