My fiance of 2 years won't stop treating me like his Mom. He calls me crying about everything. Yes, actually crying. He wants me to support him in our relationship. He thinks I'm going to leave him one day and if I ever hang the phone up on him he calls me back in hysterics, asking if I don't love him anymore.
The problem is I love him. I really do with my whole heart, but I don't like being his Mommy about everything.
His Mom divorced his Dad for being the exact same way, I don't want our relationship to end up like that, How can I make him stop? He's on my nerves.
2007-10-09 09:52:48 · 18 answers · asked by Latefortea 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Okay fine, I'll talk to him. How do I tell him?
2007-10-09 10:55:19 · update #1
You have to get him into counseling somewhere so that he can learn to deal with this. When children copy the parents it is fine only if the parents are good examples but in this case, his father was not strong enough, and probably his father before him, so your boyfriend is carrying on as he was taught to.
You might also start with little things and make him make decisions to raise his self esteem. let him decide which movie to go to or which restaurant. Since he depends upon you so much you may be able to just make an appointment with a counselor and take him there. I hope you can work this out!!
2007-10-09 10:12:19 · answer #1 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should get out of that relationship fast!!! He's a control freak and obviously paranoid. He doesn't trust you at all and it will only get worse. You haven't done anything wrong and there is no way to "prove" that you aren't cheating. I think you should move on...that sounds like a rough spot to be in and DEFINATELY don't move in with him. Tell him you need him to trust you, but from what he's already done it doesn't sound like he'll ever do that. Plus, if it's not him accusing you of cheating, it'll be something else. He also sounds like the type that would end up physically abusing you (and for something you DIDNT DO!!) Don't do this to yourself, find a guy who will love you and trust you and explain his concerns in a calm, sane manner.
2016-05-20 00:39:48 · answer #2 · answered by janeth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cannot MAKE him stop. This is how he is.
I'm sorry to say this, but this man has SERIOUS self-esteem issues, among other things!
Unless he decides to "grab the bull by the horns" and actually go to therapy and try to get his act together, he's going to be extremely unhappy- and will also make those around him extremely stressed out !
As for you, how come you are with him?
It takes "two to tango", and in this case you need to do some serious soul-searching and ask yourself WHY it is you are still his girlfriend!!! (Sounds to me like he makes you feel needed and so important that your ego is flattered...and that is not healthy.)
I think you should both go to counseling or therapy by yourselves...This sounds like a recipe for disaster.
2007-10-09 10:08:59 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, not us. You know, it's called 'talking' and it's something adults do with each other.
By the way, there is NEVER an excuse for hanging up on someone. Especially someone you supposedly love. That's the behavior of a 15 year old. It sounds like you BOTH need some help and I suggest it start by having an actual conversation.
2007-10-09 09:57:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
You need to *seriously* reconsider having a relationship with a person like this. This kind of co-dependent person is the type you hear about on the news after they have murdered several family members.
2007-10-09 10:25:31 · answer #5 · answered by Mathsorcerer 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a mama's boy for a boyfriend. You sure you want a mama's boy for a husband? This guy needs to man up and quit being such a wimp. That's no way to impress the ladies and convince your girlfriend that you can handle life's challenges.
2007-10-09 09:57:02 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell him he is a boyfriend not a son. Get a friend to talk to. If he does not stop then break it off or you will be stuck with this habit of his.
2007-10-09 10:21:43 · answer #7 · answered by ronnny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you won't listen to whining or crying. When he's ready to talk normally, you will gladly listen. It works on my kids (but only if I follow through and ignore them until they stop)
2007-10-09 10:00:47 · answer #8 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he needs serious help and if you keep letting him carry on like that and you would break up,how is he ever going to grow up and find anyone else?you may love him but noone can live with that forever!!
2007-10-09 10:27:04 · answer #9 · answered by bratt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to change how you react.
connect with his feelings and needs.
get the book "nonviolent communication' by marshall rosenberg.
neither of you are getting your needs met in this relationship so you are both unhappy. he needs security and love. you need peace and quiet?
you need to listen to each other and understand what each other needs.
2007-10-09 09:57:42 · answer #10 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋