husband's Ex a stripper?

Question

Before meeting or marrying my husband he had another girlfriend whom together had a son. She kept their son and sends him with us for summer & christmas. But she is now a stripper. we feel that she would be not taking care of him as she should. I know that's her personal business but a 7 yr old whom mother isn't around at nights and knows she is a dancer is kind of unhealthy. Someone give me some advice of what can we do.

Answer 1

It's nothing wrong with being a stripper (I wouldn't chose the profession) but as long as she is providing for her child to the best of her ability and the other part that you and your husband feels as if she is not capable of caring for the child thats when you 2 step up to the plate and carry on the extra load that she is not able to handle cause that's the whole part of marriage you accept things not try to change them. And think about the child and wonder how would you feel if you didn't live with your mother and had to live with dad and stepmom.....

So try not to criticize the mother we all know what comes with a job like stripping maybe your hubby can pay for her to get an eduacation to better herself so she want have to dance weeeee hours in the morning......:-)

Answer 2

Being a stripper is a legitimate occupation, and it makes WAY more money than most jobs for men OR women. Many women work at night -- barmaids, airline hostesses, shift workers etc -- this is not a reason to suppose that she doesn't care for her son. And she is at home in the afternoons when he comes home from school, and probably all the way until the time he goes to bed, which is NOT the case with most working women.

With her salary and with appropriate care for the son when she's not in, I see no reason to complain about her or worry about the son. You haven't said whether you have met her, but if you have and consider her a decent person that would also be in her favor of course. At least find out something about her side of the story, from her or from your husband. A little tolerance & willingness to accept the unusual will go a long way here I think.

Answer 3

You are making a bigger deal out of something that isn't a big deal. A job is a job, you will do more harm to the child if you try to take the child from his mom than the child having a "dancer" for a mother. Stop with the holy than though attitude and leave the mother and child alone unless their is a real problem. Mom being a stripper isn't a problem and stop pretending it is one.

Answer 4

At this point u do nothing.. UNLESS she is actually neglecting him , putting him in harms way or if she's exposing him to her job.. then she's not doing anything wrong by the coursts standards..

People work graveyard shifts all the time.. not a reason to take a child away for working the late shift ..

As long as she's not putting him an inappropriate situation where he is being harmed.. the judge isnt going to care that shes a stripper, its legal, and although it may not be "morally" acceptable by some, its still a legal job, and as long as your step son isnt being expose to her place of work ..shes not doing anything wrong legally.. You have zero case.. sorry but you dont.. as long as he is well cared for, has a safe environment in which he's being cared for at night.. then u and your husband dont have a case.. she's allowed to do any job she wishes thats legal, and that doesnt involve her son in her workplace.. your grasping at straws on this one..

Answer 5

So Police Officers, Firemen, Doctors, etc. cannot be good parents?

Many of them work over night and very weird hours....

And what does it matter if she is a dancer? Legal profession that has zero bearing on her parenting abilities.

Most of you people are sick in the head. What does being a stripper have to do with being a parent? What does running down the childs mother do to make his life better?

When "adults" get divorced they often use their kids as justification for their vengeful, jealous actions. Dont be that person.

Answer 6

If she's doing this work away from the home, it will have zero if any effect on the child. I've never heard of a woman who did this sort of work unless they were in financial dire straits. As far as custody, a judge isn't going to reassign residential responsibility based on someones employment. It's as simple as that. I've seen judges throw out frivolous motions such as you're suggesting all the time. I once saw a self-proclaimed drug dealer receive primary residential and parental responsibility because his activities had no impact on the child. Think before you act: If you rock the boat so to speak, it could possibly cause more trouble and harm than good.

Answer 7

So what you're saying is that she has a job that keeps her home when he's awake but at work while he's asleep, probably making a good living, and that's a problem. It's a legal way to make a living, you'd need to prove more then the fact that she's a stripper to take the child. And that's the way it should be. Who says she's a bad mom just because of her occupation?

Answer 8

i'm really not understanding the problem here. At 7yrs old does the child REALLY know what mom does for a living? And if he does, does it really matter? It is LEGAL to work as a stripper.
As far as her working nights, a LOT of single mothers work nights. as long as the child is properly taken care of while she is working it really shouldn't matter if mom is working nights as a dancer or if she's working nights as a janitor.

Answer 9

Live and let live. If she is not doing anything else but dancing, you should let her be. If however, she is bringing men home, turning tricks, using drugs ect then an intervention needs to be done. If she is just earning a living dancing, at least she is providing for her son. Plenty of women work nights, that does not mean they are doing somethnig illigal or immoral.

Answer 10

Be a very very very good example of what a lady should be. I hope you have a husband that respects you as a lady. Don't be too judgemental about the mom. Maybe that is the only job she can get.... Offer to see the kid more. Only interject advice if the kid shows wear and tear from the situation. Then only to your spouse.