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Your husband says to you:

"I prefer you slimmer but it's a preference not a problem."

Are you hurt?

2007-10-09 09:01:39 · 29 answers · asked by Kitten 4 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

29 answers

I would be hurt, but I would also take into consideration whether or not I provoked this response from him, for example, did I badger him by asking whether he liked the way I look, or if he thought I needed to lose some weight, etc. Either way it would hurt me to hear something like that, but if I was confident that he loved me and like your husband said, it wasn't a problem, I wouldn't let it bother me too much. Don't sweat the small stuff! He probably has his little quirks that you would prefer were different too, right?

2007-10-09 09:07:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2 0

Consider yourself extremely lucky!! A lot of men would've lied to you and then tried to use your weight as an excuse to cheat later.

He loves you exactly how you are! That is what he is telling you! Don't get defensive! You asked the question and he answered you, honestly! He would prefer it if you were slimmer - have you gained some weight? Obviously it isn't a problem for him and he loves you no matter what, that is a good thing! Honestly is ALWAYS best !! It may have stung a little, but the truth can!

2007-10-09 16:22:41 · answer #2 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1 1

You could of replied " I'd prefer better finesse in your answer, but it's an observation not a criticism".

Would I be hurt? No, he gave you an honest answer.

Women are funny creatures. They tell us guys they want "honesty" and "openness". Then, when your husband, who probably loves you with ever bit of his fiber, tells you this, you choose to be hurt.

Maybe he loves you and not your body? Maybe he loves your eyes, your smile, your touch, your kiss. None of this is weight driven.

Maybe he likes the way you talk, walk, speak, think, or some other thing.

Stop obsessing over 10-some words and just live a life of love and understanding.

2007-10-09 16:14:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

You could be or you could just accept as you would with anyone that he has a preference. You could love him that it is not a problem and that now you know if you wanted to please him more you could just drop weight but there is no pressure. It could be an extreme positive like knowing someone wants something but they aren't hurting to get it. Doing it or buying that gift then makes it feel more special.

2007-10-09 16:48:11 · answer #4 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0 0

I would be, but probably be motivated to get moving in a direction that suited us both...honesty is a plus from him. Is there anything about him that you could say the same thing about?
Maybe if you let him know what you're feeling, you can resolve it. He probably won't just "get it" if you don't say, men are funny that way! If you can't trust each other with how you really feel, who can you trust?
Good luck, let us know what happens!

2007-10-09 16:12:21 · answer #5 · answered by VixenOXOX 1 · 0 0

If my husband said that to me it would be justified. Only 'cuz I prefer myself 20 lbs less

2007-10-09 16:14:46 · answer #6 · answered by ♥ Teri ♥ 5 · 0 0

if i asked my husband if he would like me to be slimmer then that is a completely acceptable answer. if this statement was made just out of the blue then i think its inappropriate.

2007-10-09 16:14:38 · answer #7 · answered by princess 5 · 0 0

Depends, if it's an unsolicited comment then it's rude. However, if you asked him how you look, or anything like that, then he should be able to respond honestly.

Either way, as a husband, I'm smart enough not to say that even if I wanted to.

2007-10-09 16:15:49 · answer #8 · answered by Bull in a china shop 2 · 0 0

I think that's the last thing women want to hear, BUT, if its the true hard facts, I admire him for stepping up and saying something. I'd rather be warned than later on him resenting you for it and finding someone smaller. It happens... its a cruel world out there. Maybe (obviously) he was clueless how to approach you/and the subject, and just blurted it out.

2007-10-09 16:07:22 · answer #9 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 2 0

I would be pissed but i would prefer myself slimmer to.
Fact of the matter is until its ready to fall off, mine aint going no wear.
Of course he would like to have his slim wife back, but like he said, its not a problem.
If you are worried ask him to help you try and loose a bit of weight (if thats what you want)....
.if not, he loves you as you are or not at all!!
Good Luck

2007-10-09 16:07:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3 1

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