I was married for three years, and have been separated (now divorced) for a year and a half. My ex sent all wedding pictures to me after I moved home from overseas where we were living together. Until now I've had them at the bottom of a box in my closet, as I'm unsure what to do with them. It seems like a shame to throw them out, but at the same time they're pictures of my past - no longer the life I'm living. My boyfriend and I have recently decided to move in together and these pictures make him uncomfortable. (Understandably so.) Unfortunatly after spending 5 years with my ex, there are a lot of "memories" floating around in the form of photographs, some in albums which include close friends and family members. I have no negative feelings towards my ex. I'm not sure what to do. Should I chuck them? Burn them? Give them to family? Any advice would be great - especially if you have experience with this.
2007-10-09 08:34:23 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well, I have not experienced it personally, as I have been blessed that my dear wife of thirty years and more has not yet traded me in on a newer younger model with more features and lower maintenance costs. However, I have more than a few friends and relatives who have gone through what you have experienced.
My general view, based upon watching them, is that just because a particular part of your life is over, it does not mean it never happened.
If one of your parents were to die, would you throw away any pictures you have of them because they are no longer in your life? Probably not.
It is much the same with a former spouse. Obviously at one time you had some happy moments together, else you would not have wed. Moreover, you seem to have remained on good terms, which suggests considerable maturity on your part and his. I expect you remember those times occasionally. The photos are simply an adjunct to those memories, so I would say keep them as long as it pleases you to do so.
2007-10-09 08:48:39 · answer #1 · answered by anonymourati 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been married, but here's something that might be relevant (or not!):
I like my old photos and school yearbooks, but look at them only rarely.
I recently lost an important photo, and had to scour through boxes and boxes and boxes of photos to find the negative.
Unfortunately, for whatever reason, the retailer couldn't make a quality print from it (she gave me the result for free, because it took her over a half-hour just to focus the new machine!!! A professional photographer would cost too much, and I'd be afraid to mail it because it could get lost; it means *that* much to me!).
Anyway, it taught me that I was glad I had saved all those photos, even though 90% of them are "junk", and I did have a few nostalgic moments over them!
So, up on a shelf, tucked away from everything they stay, until who knows when!
Does that help?
2007-10-09 09:13:50 · answer #2 · answered by skaizun 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have experience with it, but I would think that you should keep the picture even if they are not easily accessable. Put them in boxes and put them away in the your closet or storage unit. Then you won't have them laying around for your new boyfriend to see or feel uncomfortable with and they won't be out for you to easily look at and remember it all if you don't want to. But I wouldn't waste the time or money you spent on the pictures by throwing them away or burning them. Like you said it's a part of your past and it's good to have a past and memories of it. If you don't want the pics in your house see if your mom can keep them in her storage area for you.
2007-10-09 08:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Nicole 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I had this issue with the photos from my first wedding. I ended up taking all of the negatives in to a shop and getting them put on CD. This way, I can save them for my kids, remember the people no longer with us down the line and not worry about them being a bunch of pics hanging around. Technology is great!
2007-10-09 10:44:08 · answer #4 · answered by Tempestt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep them in that special box in the bottom of that drawer or in a locked box in the closet. They are not just photos that bring up hurt, they are photos of a once good time. Family, friends, loved ones.
I kept all my photos from the first time around, but I keep them stored away where I don't have to look at them unless I want a trip down memory lane. My past did not make me who I am today, it just made me smarter.
2007-10-09 08:40:48 · answer #5 · answered by Lilly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you have children together? If so, you should save them for your children. If you did not have children, I would chuck the majority of them... and keep a few, maybe the ones that have just you in it. No reason to throw away a perfectly pretty picture of just you... or at least that is how I would look at it. Good luck deciding, I know it's hard.
I have my parents wedding pictures, they were divorced when I was three... I think my mom looks so pretty and I LOVE them, even though I would never want them to get back together.
2007-10-09 08:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by Christine 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I still have my wedding photos (and all the other photos) from my previous marriage. The only photos from my past I ever threw away were of a person who ended up stalking me; I was angry with him and didn't want any trace of him to remain in my belongings. I would not throw away the photos, but that's just me. Do whatever feels right to you - you don't have an obligation to either keep the photos OR to throw them out. The decision is up to you - just don't toss them simply because it makes someone else "uncomfortable". You, yourself, have to feel ok about it. The other person may or may not be in your life in the future, but your past will always be your past.
2007-10-09 08:46:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I still have the wedding photos from my previous marriage, tucked away in a photo box. I kept them because:
1. There are a lot of relatives in them that I don't see that often or that have passed away.
2. Everybody was dressed up and smiling and happy.
3. I looked DAMN good.
Definitely don't throw them out. If you can, store them away, it was a happy day for you even if it ended badly.
2007-10-09 10:44:41 · answer #8 · answered by ebony_texan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wedding photos divorce
2016-02-03 06:53:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I boxed em and put them away. Your boyfriends feelings in this matter are not relevant. This is your past. Those wedding pictures are from a happy day in your life no matter how it turned out later. He need to work it out. I don't think it's understandably. I think it's controlling.
2007-10-09 08:40:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋