How have u made your relationship last so long? I know my parents have been married for going on 23 years this year, and they act like they friggin hate each other lol, but i know deep down they still love each other. almost every day i wonder why they're still even married when they can act so mean toward each other. How have you made your marriage last? Why do u think you're still with the person you're married to?
2007-10-09 07:38:16 · 10 answers · asked by Nacho Chacho 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know you said 20 years or longer but I have been with my wife 17 yrs married 11 yrs.
We both have our moments of making each other angry and yes even being selfish.
A marriage is a partnership:
What I like to use is the cup theory in marriage and I have shown my wife this aswell.
you have three cups and 1 cup is the wife, which is 1/2 full of water and 1 cup, which is 1/2 full of water is the husband and the other cup represents marriage and is empty.
You take those cups that is 1/2 full of water and pour it into the marriage cup and you become one. you cannot take out your water or his water because they are mixed together.
whatever you do or he does reflects and hurts each other because your one with each other.
so always think about the partner and think how this will reflect or hurt the marriage.
2007-10-09 07:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by bmdt07 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, not 20 years, but we've been together for 13, married for 9. If sex is important to him or you, then it's important to "you". "You" = him + you. I can tell you this. Any man who is denied sexual attention from his wife on a consistent basis is going to eventualy either cheat, leave you, or just simply be miserable forever. Thumbs-down me all you like. It's a fact. It goes the other way too, although not as often. Love and trust and communication are hugely important - don't get me wrong. But all the understanding in the world won't change the fact that he wants some, and there really isn't any good reason why he shouldn't get some. I'll bet you'd do all kinds of favors for your friends and family. Sit for an hour and watch tv, find time to go visit your mother, etc. But to find 45 minutes to make love to your husband? Nah, that's not important. Imagine how worthless he feels that his wife cannot find 45 min a few times a week for him to have a physical connection to his wife, when you make time for other things for so many other people. Think about it.
2016-04-07 23:31:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I’ve been married for 18 years. My husband and I do disagree and even 'bicker' from time to time, but that’s perfectly normal because you will never agree with someone else 100% ALL the time.
Our marriage has lasted in part because:
--We didn’t marry until we were both old enough and mature enough to understand exactly what we were getting into
--We’re both 100% committed to doing everything in our power to have a strong marriage
--We didn’t go running home/scream divorce at the first sign at trouble--we worked through the problems together
--We trust each other completely--which is very important!
--Our disagreements are civil--no screaming or name-calling allowed. If we’re too angry, we wait until we’ve calmed down to discuss the issue.
--We make it a point to always be considerate of each other--each person’s opinion and desires count equally (ie we are not selfish)
Why am I still with him? Because he's a good man and I love him.
2007-10-09 07:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We've been happily married 37 years, and I guarantee you, some of the key elements of a successful relationship - married or otherwise - are:
1) A long list of common interests; things you both enjoy doing TOGETHER as opposed to separate interests and separate groups of friends.
2) A lot of tolerance for each other's differences. As much as you share in common, you're still going to rub one another wrong from time to time. Be mature and deal with it. Separate the small $h!t from the serious stuff.
3) A sense of compromise; so that you can work out your problems with a minimum of emotional trauma. It's marital negotiation.
4) A sense of sympathy and forgiveness. You're both going to screw up on occasion. You need to be able to forgive, forget, and move on with the relationship.
2007-10-09 11:44:42 · answer #4 · answered by John Doe 1st 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all boils down to one word.
Choice.
You make the choice to stay together. You make the choice to
fight or not fight. You make the choice to be self aware enough
to make things better for both of you.
To last a long time in a marriage, both parties to the marriage
must learn and grow. They must grow and improve together.
Marriage is work. Hard work.
Love isn't a noun. Or at least "love", the noun is fleeting. Love,
the verb is lasting. Because you can make a choice to love. Or
not to love. But love is something you do. It's not something
you "fall" into. That's just romantic crap and it won't get you
anywhere in a long term marriage.
Small, simple weddings seem to make marriages last. Big and
expensive weddings seem to be the choice for people who are
not very realistic about what marriage is. Those folks don't often
stay married for very long.
Hope this helps.
2007-10-09 07:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think I'm still with my hubby because he is my best friend. We do so much together and he provides so much to me (comfort, support, love, wisdom, etc.). Yes, there are days he pisses me off to no end and some of the things he says and does can downright hurt (I'm not perfect either), but I love him and know him like no other...just like he knows me like no one else. Except for God. Your parents probably are sick of each other now and then (they're normal), but, like you said, deep down they are in love. How lucky for you that you can witness a marriage that seems strong enough to endure 23 years. I'm a child of divorce and would love it if my parents could have been each other's one and only forever love. Maybe that's why I stick it out with my marriage. It's work and it's worth it.
2007-10-09 07:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by cantuckychik 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Parents have been married 40 years (Oct 7). They are two of the funniest people I know! There was a point where I thought that they might divorce, I was a teenager. They found this great group called "Marriage Encounters" it was run by the catholic church, we are not Catholic. It taught them how to communicate with each other and with my brother and I.
They have given my brother and I a great foundation on what we want from a marriage, sadly it took a second marriage for me to find that foundation!
2007-10-09 07:43:18 · answer #7 · answered by PSYCHO DAISY MAE 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We love each other, are there for each other,
communicate to each other, support each other,
share responsibilities in taking care of our home,
and we have built a solid foundation together
that no-one can penetrate, and since we did it
together that has made our marriage last for
over 20yrs, and my parents also did that and they
were married for 55yrs before they passed away.
Hard work is not needed in a marriage when two
people in love and in marriage work on it to-
gether.
2007-10-09 15:30:19 · answer #8 · answered by RudiA 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Commitment!!! My wife and I decided that we wanted to be married and have made it work. We have dealt with alcohol, an affair, her mother living with us, and tons of other, but, our love is stronger than any of the stuff we have faced. She is an awesome lady, in fact sometimes when we are kissing in the living room our 14 year old son will say, go get a room, my wife says we have one. It has not always been easy but I cannot imagine being single. Regardless of the circumstances, if you both want it 100%, it will work, takes lots of patience and forgiveness but it is worth it.
2007-10-09 07:59:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....
I have a friend....
Their still married for the kids..
They keep their distance and sleep in separate rooms..
2007-10-09 07:42:19 · answer #10 · answered by Tink 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋