Getting the ex to pay child support??

Question

My ex (she left me and the kids after 12 yrs of matrimony) owes me back child support. I know times are rough for her financially and have tried several times to keep the peace (ex. part of the money she pays, I send back with the kids) but I still find myself arguing with her and having to stay on her to pay what was ordered. Recently, I forgave about 3 weeks worth of support and, in kind she do me a favor or two to repay me (simple stuff like picking the kids up for me so I can go workout or taking them out for an extra day on one of my weekends). She became irate and, long story short, felt she was hoodwinked into signing an unfair decree. She made it clear that what support I get from her should be enough because I make more than her.

I really don't want to report her to the court or the authorities but the kids need both of our support. Any ideas on making the situation better?

Answer 1

Get over it. If you make enough money to support the kids and she's paying you what she can, just deal. Most parents don't pay ANY of their child support and court would cost you alot of money.

Answer 2

you can both go to the friend of the court and try to get the amount adjusted so that she has to pay less and you don't have to keep forgiving what she owes or sending it back. The fact that she looks upon it as a favor to picking up the kids for you or taking them for an extra day I think says a lot for her character!!

Answer 3

Depending on the state, whether or not he has adopted her doesn't matter. Since he has practically raised her from birth he has made himself responsible for her. Unless a judge or lawyer tell you that he had to have adopted her to be responsible for child support don't listen to what anyone on here says. I know several people who have had to pay for children who are not legally or biologically theirs. Sometimes it may not seem fair, but he agreed to take care of her and just because she isn't his doesn't mean he can slack the responsibility that he took by agreeing to help raise her now that you aren't together. Really its up to you about this. If you feel that he should continue to support your daughter, make him pay if possible. Otherwise, it would be a good idea to look up her dead beat donor and start cs from him. Remember though, that since he says she isn't his also means that he doesn't have to get to see her. I know it is dirty and mean, but maybe that is something that would open his eyes to being a man and continuing to be there for her.

Answer 4

Nope , u need to turn this over to child support enforcement.. they will make her stay ontop of the court ordered support, they will attach her paycheck if necessary and go after any income tax refund she gets till ur paid back the money owed.

You shouldnt have to babysitt her into doing what she is legally obligated to do through the courts.. its not your job to make her grow up and do what she needs to do.. if she's strapped for money well then i guess its time for her to get a second job.

You have tried to do it in "trade" ie helping out with the kids and even then she has a cow .. your not being unfair, the only person thats being unfair is her.. to your children.. and im sorry but i dont care that she's a woman , the fact is she had children, you have custody and she needs to help support them.. and she's not.. her child support is based on her income, and that means the court feels she is capable of paying that amount.. and she should.. why should it all be on you????? Why should she get to get off scott free from all responsibilities and put it on u?..

Ive struggled for 11 years with my x and child support.. had to hold him in contempt.. for back child support, etc.. and it gets expensive trying to pay for lawyers every time they screw up and dont do what they are suppose to.. and u can be nice, yell.. scream , cry.. etc.. it doesnt change things.. they get to only worry about themselves.. and thats all they are concerned about themselves.. (ones that dont care enough about their children to do what is right by them) .. So now once again i had to wait till i got the money together to get a lawyer.. and im holding him in contempt , having the child support modified etc.. taking care of it in one swoop, and then making him pay through the courts and letting them deal with him if he doesnt pay .. so i dont have to keep going through this.. and yeah it sux, cause u dont want to cause more tension, and u worry how it will affect the kids, but what good is it to have a parent that doesnt care and isnt helping, because u want to not rock the boat.. it doesnt.. sometimes u have to take a stand, come up with a sure solution to the problem, and sure it may be ruff for a bit.. but like with everything else people learn to deal with it.. and after awhile things go back to the way they were before as far as the tension.. once they come to terms with the "this is how its going to be"..

So stop letting her walk all over u and the kids, do what is right for you and the children, and if she cant handle it, tuff she should of thought about that before she got married, had kids and got divorced..

Answer 5

Threaten her with the idea of going back to court.
If you are willing to work out a different arrangement with her, set the amount that you both agree on- write up the agreement and get it notarized.
Otherwise, you're going to have to meet with your lawyer and file a Petition for Citation of Contempt. You will then go to court, she will be ordered to pay back support and your legal fees.

Answer 6

the money should be taken out of her pay automatically. money should never pass hands between the two of you but rather through the agency.
you should contact the child support agency and ask that the order be put through automatic debit. and if she screws up, you won't be the bad guy since they're the ones deducting it from her check every week - not you.

Answer 7

Boy, she is playing you. Take her to court. Only have contact with her when it concerns the kids. Get a babysitter in the future.

Answer 8

No. Put your foot down and tell her if she doesn't pay you, you're going to the court. I'm sure if the tables were turned, she'd do the same to you.

Answer 9

Take her asss back to court as this is the same advice I would give if you owed her.

Answer 10

If she was a man,she'd be in jail by now.That's rather sexist,but true.Kids aren't cheap to raise.I say drag her into court again.