Should i move in with my boyfriend?ok, so i need some advice. I am twenty years old and have a three year old

Question

My son's father and i aren't together for different reasons, but mainly because we have completley different lifestyles. He likes to drink and party every day, and I don't want that around my son. I have been dating my current boyfriend now for over a year, but have known him since my son was born. He has good morals and values, and is great with my son. I still live with my parents and am in college, and he(my boyfriend) lives an hour away. I can't afford to move out on my own because I am in school full-time and only work part time which isn't enough . My boyfriend is planning on moving close to me, and recently mentioned us living together ((my parents and i are ready for me to move). I have always been against moving in with your bf or gf before marriage, but now i am starting to consider it. We do plan on getting married within the next couple years. I Just don't want to jump and make a decision without thinking about the consequences. I just need some helpful advice.

Answer 1

i think that you moving in with him would be a good idea, actually, as long as you are ready for it....it would give you an idea of how life will be when you're married, plus you say that you're ready (and so are your parents) for moving out of your parents' house....i think that it would work out well. i made the move and i don't regret it at all - we learned so much that only helped us after we wed. good luck to you!!

Answer 2

In the first place: "Congratulations!"
You have found a good and loving partner, who seems to share your interests, listens to your needs and supports you unconditionally. And most important, he does accept your child and gets along with him very well...
You are a lucky woman, you know?
Your boy friend is making so many efforts to adapt his life to yours, he is even thinking of moving closer to your home.
Isn’t that great?
Really, you shouldn’t think twice and move together with him.
You are a grown woman with a 3 years old child and not a little girl anymore. The relationship with the father of your son failed, because you both have absolutely different life styles.
Well, the best way to find out, if your relationship with your boy friend is strong and long lasting is moving in with him.
I think that in your case (and I really don’t want to offend you) it’s a little ridiculous to say, that you shall wait till marriage before living together. You are not an innocent girl, you have tasted already the bitterness of life and what a failed relationship or marriage means.
So, I suppose, that the most important thing for you and your son should be living like a "normal" family.
He also does need a father figure and he can’t have that while you still stay in your parents house and see your boy friend just during a few hours a day.
Get real, baby, take this chance and don’t let him escape!
How can you get to know a man better than living with him?
All the best!

Answer 3

Go for it! You'll never know unless you give it a shot. The most important thing is whether your boyfriend can handle living with a 3 year old! (I have a 4 year old and just moved in with my bf of 2 years over the summer.) I would advise discussing everything in depth, even down to who cooks, cleans and does the dishes, just so communication is open. You can always get a 3 bedroom place for those times of disagreement. If you're both thinking the relationship is serious and moving towards marriage, living together makes sense and can be really fun! Congrats!

Answer 4

there are a lot of things to take into account in a situation like this. some examples, what does he do for a living if he can up and move that easily? What are you going to college for? A study once showed that relationships which began when one of the partners were in college for law or medicine had something like a 90% failure rate. If you graduate and are able to make a lot more money than him, is that going to be a problem? Can you count on him not to change if you are living together or for that matter, if you are making a lot more money how will your life style change? Will you be living together as friends or as lovers? If you come up with the right answers to these questions, you will have a better idea of whether you should try this or not.

Answer 5

by the sounds of your question, i don't know if you are completely over your son's father. and this other guy seems like a guy that will do anything to be with you. in the long run, i'm not sure if this guy will attract you like to keep you interested in the long-run.

but with all that aside, i have been living with my gf for 2 years now. i've been with her 3 yrs. we had a son a year into our relationship & then decided to live together for the interest of both our son & ourselves. so far everything has gone fine. if it was up to her, she would have married me 2 1/2 years ago, but i'm 23 and she's 22. we are still too young to even consider that right now & still immature. live together for a few years, no rush. tell your bf what you expect and don't expect - like getting married in a couple years. there is no timeline on anything & so you shouldn't feel pressured into anything.

the ONLY downside to this is that if you do want to get married at some time, say 5 yrs from now, your bf might be completely happy with the ways things are going and might see things differently - or vise-versa. meaning that, YOU might want to get married but he doesn't because he has everything any married could wish to have. (house/apt, the significant other, etc.).

Good luck.

Answer 6

First you should ask yourself is he really what i want? Is he good enough for you and your son? Is he worth it? Now these should be relatively easy answers but if you have doubts or he is so-so then NO you should not move in with him. Moving in, getting marriage should be happy occasions, something to look forward to.. but if there is doubt then there is something very wrong then. Once i heard that the proposition of marriage should be the easiest question to answer because you are suppose to be in love and are suppose to be extremely happy... Now think about that... Don't rush into anything you are uncomfortable with, take as much time as you want to think about it but taking a long time isn't a good sign that moving in is not a good choice. Also the first person that you should ever truly worry about is your 3 y.o. See if this is good for him? But honey if u do move in then be also prepared to see red flags and move away from him as quickly as possible when you do see red flags. Don't get too excited by his words its actions that he should be showing. Don't be all anal and critical but see who he really truly is. Guys at times seem so good but end up being very bad for you. It hurts a lot to love someone that is not right for you and it will also hurt your child a lot too. So don't expose yourself to that or your baby. BE careful little lady and Congrats on going to school don't let anyone take that away from you ...a degree is very important....

Answer 7

Well, with no child, I'd say go for it. As a matter of fact, I think it
is a real good idea before committing to marriage.

But with the kid, I think you need to take a closer look.

You'd be dependent on the b/f. That's not a good thing. I think I
would find a way to contribute and then do it. But if you'll just be
dependent, then I think you'll run the risk of ruining the relationship.

If this relationship is important to you (which I suspect it is), you
will want to think this through more clearly. Dependence is bad
for your self-esteem and it will be reflected in the relationship.

Good luck.

Answer 8

There are two sides to this. I always say that you shouldn't move in with somebody unless you can afford to live on your own. If you are financially dependent on your partner, moving in together can put an additional strain on a relationship. On the other hand, I always advise couples to live together before they get married. I realize that this goes against most common Judeo-Christian values, but it's an excellent idea, and can save you a great deal of trouble later. You don't really know somebody until you've lived with them. So in your case, I would say, if you feel secure in your relationship, go for it. Just be aware of all the implications.

Answer 9

Best choice you could make is moving in and seeing if you get along even with all that exposure. A lot of people are fine until they cant get away from each other. It's a good idea to try it out. At least 1 year before marriage.

Answer 10

I'd say yes you should move in with your boyfriend. Make sure you really want to live with him. Make sure that he is who you think he is. I moved in with my kids father and lived with him for two years before i realized who he REALLY was. This is an question only YOU can answer. Make sure you have your own money saved somewhere so you dont have to be completely dependant on him. Also ask your parents how they would feel if you move and if you can come back if you need too. ALWAYS HAVE A BACK UP PLAN to fall back on!!

Answer 11

If this is the real thing and you are going to get married i see no problem with it. But if Marriage is still questionable then no, do not move in with him. You have a 3 year old child who has to come first and you cannot confuse or hurt him so If the two of you are positive taht you will be getting married, go for it. But think about your son first.