Should i move in with my boyfriend?ok, so i need some advice. I am twenty years old and have a three year old

Question

My son's father and i aren't together for different reasons, but mainly because we have completley different lifestyles. He likes to drink and party every day, and I don't want that around my son. I have been dating my current boyfriend now for over a year, but have known him since my son was born. He has good morals and values, and is great with my son. I still live with my parents and am in college, and he(my boyfriend) lives an hour away. I can't afford to move out on my own because I am in school full-time and only work part time which isn't enough . My boyfriend is planning on moving close to me, and recently mentioned us living together ((my parents and i are ready for me to move). I have always been against moving in with your bf or gf before marriage, but now i am starting to consider it. We do plan on getting married within the next couple years. I Just don't want to jump and make a decision without thinking about the consequences. I just need some helpful advice.

Answer 1

I commend you on being smart enough to think this through.. This is not a small step that you are taking.. Looking at what you have described, i would say that your boyfriend loves you very much.. You have the same morals and lifestyles, and even more importantly, you trust him with your son. I think that you are doing wonderfully.. If you know that you will get married, i wouldn't worry too much.. Good luck!

Answer 2

In the first place: "Congratulations!" You have found a good and loving partner, who seems to share your interests, listens to your needs and supports you unconditionally. And most important, he does accept your child and gets along with him very well... You are a lucky woman, you know? Your boy friend is making so many efforts to adapt his life to yours, he is even thinking of moving closer to your home. Isn’t that great? Really, you shouldn’t think twice and move together with him. You are a grown woman with a 3 years old child and not a little girl anymore. The relationship with the father of your son failed, because you both have absolutely different life styles. Well, the best way to find out, if your relationship with your boy friend is strong and long lasting is moving in with him. I think that in your case (and I really don’t want to offend you) it’s a little ridiculous to say, that you shall wait till marriage before living together. You are not an innocent girl, you have tasted already the bitterness of life and what a failed relationship or marriage means. So, I suppose, that the most important thing for you and your son should be living like a "normal" family. He also does need a father figure and he can’t have that while you still stay in your parents house and see your boy friend just during a few hours a day. Get real, baby, take this chance and don’t let him escape! How can you get to know a man better than living with him? All the best!

Answer 3

Go for it! You'll never know unless you give it a shot. The most important thing is whether your boyfriend can handle living with a 3 year old! (I have a 4 year old and just moved in with my bf of 2 years over the summer.) I would advise discussing everything in depth, even down to who cooks, cleans and does the dishes, just so communication is open. You can always get a 3 bedroom place for those times of disagreement. If you're both thinking the relationship is serious and moving towards marriage, living together makes sense and can be really fun! Congrats!

Answer 4

I know you need to be sure for your son as much as you. I can't see anything wrong with the two of you moving in together. You say your against living together before marriage but thats the time you really get to know each other and see how he and your son get on as a family unit. Go for it and good luck.

Answer 5

As per my own experience, I do recommend moving in together BEFORE marriage. The reason for this is simple: get to know each other for real.

All that stupidity of religion and “morals” only makes things worse. If you forget about that, and just concentrate on what is best for you (and on this case for your kid), you will see that what really makes sense is to move in with your b/f and start having a marriage life together.

This is the best, because it will let you share with him good and bad times, it will allow you to see who he really is and for him also to see who you really are. You will have to organize your lives so you all can live together, emotionally, financially, and also sexually.

It is important to share everything, including intimacy and sex so you both can understand what it is going to be for the rest of your life.

If he is good with your kid, and you know that he is not faking it just to be with you, then it is a good advantage. Don’t forget your kid comes before anything else.

And best of all, if things don’t work out, then you two can go in separate ways and avoid having to get a divorce and spend all the money on both wedding and divorce.

And if things are good (hopefully), then you two will be able to marry once you are ready and it will be just a signature, because you both will be already married in your hearts.

Just be positive, and understand the risks before you decide to move. It is a big step, but well worth it if done right.

Good luck.

Answer 6

You two have been together over a year, it's not like you just met for a month, and are thinking about this. I think you have been together long enough, and things are not like they used to be. I think it is better to live with someone first. That way you get to see if you are compatible that way before you get married. I think it's a great idea. Good luck!!!!!!

Answer 7

your parents i am sure are hugely helpful in helping with your 3 year old, you are planning on going from that secure place for him into some apartment with a guy you arent married to and you have not completed college

complete college,stay home, get a great job, raise your son,a nd then when that is all done, get married to this guy.

Answer 8

At the risk of sounding old fashioned...get married first. Have you asked yourself if you would you be okay with your son and his girlfriend living together when he is your age?

Answer 9

brii, Sweety, move the marrige up then move in together as husband and wife ! Worry about the eternal consequences !!!